Trabia Garden

The trouble with putting Chris and Robert of The Goes Wrong Show in bed together, and I say this as a big Chris/Robert fan, is that I feel Robert is romantic and vanilla in bed, whereas Chris has a masochistic streak a mile wide and just wants someone to tie him up and whip him. I attempted to write a fic in which Chris asks Robert to hurt him, and it never got anywhere because Robert's response was just '??? that doesn't seem right.'

Robert will hurt you unintentionally in the course of acting, and he'll hurt you deliberately in order to steal your role, but he just doesn't think the bedroom is the place for that sort of thing. Which is, I'll be honest, Robert, extremely inconvenient for me personally.

Anyway! While I'm talking about Chris/Robert, I received an anonymous question on Tumblr:

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about how the Robert/Chris dynamic would be if Chris were a trans man. I imagine Chris would be stealth so Robert might not even know until they started whatever you would call their bizarre but fascinating relationship.

I can see exactly how this would come to light. Chris and Robert end up furiously making out after an argument, unplanned and unexpected, and then Chris feels Robert's hands heading below the belt and panics, starts pulling away, "There's something I need to tell you—"

"Chris," Robert says, with a concerned frown, "your penis appears to be missing."

Chris is so thrown - by the situation as a whole, but particularly by the fact that Robert is imparting this information as if he's worried that Chris might not know - that he completely forgets anything he was about to say.

"Do you need the hospital?" Robert asks.

Chris swallows, with some difficulty. "No, I'm... I'm fine. This is the, er, the intended state of affairs."

Robert's frown eases, but only a little. "Do you have any genitalia at all? Because I did rather have plans."

Does Robert... does Robert know what being trans is? "Er, I..."

How is Chris supposed to articulate this? It's a tricky thing to phrase at the best of times, let alone when he's so aroused he can't think straight and faced by someone to whom the entire concept is apparently new.

"May I check?" Robert asks. "If you're not sure?"

Chris shrugs, helplessly. "I... I suppose."

Robert strips off Chris's trousers and pants, swiftly and matter-of-factly. Contemplates him for a moment. All Chris can do is stand there, blushing furiously.

"Oh," Robert says, brightening, "that's fine. I know exactly what to do with one of these."

And, as it turns out, he does.

I was trying something a little weird and experimental with Through the Cracks, my Deltarune fic set in chapter five's weird route, so I thought I'd reflect a bit on how things went!


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I wouldn't want to do this with every fic, but it's been fun as a one-off experiment!

I've been feeling very 'I need to write something or I'll explode' for the last few weeks, and I've managed it at last! And, hey, it's a Deltarune fic. Apparently I'm still capable of writing for things that aren't The Goes Wrong Show?

(This fic would be improved by the presence of Robert Grove, of course. Any fic could be improved by the presence of Robert Grove.)

Oh, wow, this is apparently the three hundredth work I've posted to my main AO3 account. How did that happen?


Title: Through the Cracks
Fandom: Deltarune
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 1,400
Summary: Kris and Noelle end up somewhere else.
Warnings: Spoilers for chapter five of Deltarune, specifically the weird route.

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I received an anonymous question on Tumblr about The Goes Wrong Show: do you think dennis tyde would like undertale/deltarune?!! if so that means robert would be aware of it given they live together!!

Interesting question! I've never really thought about the Cornley Drama Society's relationship with videogames before.

I can't really envision Dennis playing Undertale or Deltarune; they're pretty complicated and challenging games, and Dennis gets stressed out and overwhelmed easily, so I think he might prefer something more straightforward. The way he struggles with vocabulary and reading also makes me think that, if he does play games, they're probably not text-heavy ones.

I can see Dennis playing Mario games! At first, he's not really sure what he's supposed to be doing. He asks why there are so many giant pipes, and, when Annie tells him that Mario is a plumber, Dennis concludes that he's supposed to go through the pipes repeatedly in order to clean them out. He seems to enjoy himself once he's got a goal in mind, even if it's perhaps not the goal intended by the developers.

I think Annie and Max are the members of the drama society who are most likely to be into videogames. Max probably enjoys couch co-op Nintendo games, anything colourful and family-friendly that he can play with friends. I can see Annie playing things that are more story-driven; I think she's probably your best bet if you're looking for an Undertale player amongst the drama society.

Actually, Vanessa might be a possibility as well! I could be swayed to either 'Vanessa doesn't play games at all' or 'Vanessa will occasionally play something single-player and story-driven'. In either case, she will absolutely panic if she has to play a multiplayer game.

Jonathan has dabbled in videogames but can never beat the first boss. Sandra's not really into games, but she'll occasionally play co-op with Max to indulge him. Chris looks down on the pursuit and refuses to attempt them. Trevor plays Tetris for hours and has never touched anything else.

There is not a chance that Robert plays videogames. I suspect the man can barely operate a phone; he just doesn't strike me as a technology person. His mental image of videogames is stuck back in the 8-bit era, and, if you tell him that games often have complex storylines, he will simply not believe you. Annie and Max talk him into a round of Mario Kart on one occasion, though, and he gets wildly competitive and insists on everyone playing long into the night. He does not place in the top three once.


While I'm talking about videogames: Tem and I are finally watching a Let's Play of The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil in Me! I find the Dark Pictures games fascinating, if flawed, but unfortunately I'm incapable of playing them myself because I find them unbearably stressful.

Tem is a bit of a true crime nerd and, the instant it became clear that actual historical serial killer HH Holmes was involved in this story, xe perked up and started giving me fun ('fun') facts about his murders. As a consequence, I began referring to Holmes as 'your boy HH Holmes' or 'your blorbo HH Holmes'. Tem did not appreciate this.

Riona: You know, if a trapdoor opened under me in a hotel and I narrowly avoided falling through to the bloodied floor beneath, it simply wouldn't occur to me that the hotel owner was trying to kill me. I would just go 'oh, no, the hotel's trapdoor is malfunctioning; they should really get that fixed.'
Tem: In many ways, it's incredible that you've survived this long.
Riona: The thing is that you don't actually encounter murderous hotel owners very often.

That said, I would start suspecting I was in danger when I saw the wrecked hotel lobby and the thick trail of blood along the hotel carpet, so I am at least doing better than Charlie.

It's a good thing I'm not part of the focus group for this television programme about the murders of HH Holmes, because, when present-day criminal psychologist Kate and nineteenth-century murderer Holmes were inexplicably in the same shot, all I could think was that they should make out.

I'd barely started watching this game when I had a dream about it, which does not seem to bode well. I'd forgotten how frequently Supermassive's horror games give me nightmares.

The dream was about an alternate path in the prologue: you could choose between EXCITED and CELEBRATE for the couple. If you chose CELEBRATE, they sat in a shallow pool in the hotel grounds together, chatting excitedly about their marriage, and were both suddenly electrocuted when Holmes threw some sort of electric device into the pool from behind. It struck me that I wasn't sure this would satisfy Holmes; the couple died immediately without even knowing they were in danger, when the impression I'd got from the game's actual prologue was that Holmes likes you to know when he's murdering you.

Unfortunately, having dreamt about Holmes does make it a lot harder for me to tease Tem about Holmes being xyr blorbo.

I've finished chapter five of Deltarune! A few thoughts below the cut, although there aren't any heavy spoilers here; it turns out most of my thoughts on this chapter are on the opening sequence. I enjoyed the entire chapter, but my fannish feelings tend to focus on the Light World!


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On a final note: it's weird to see a character and go 'oh, you're definitely going to be a Tumblr sexyman' before Tumblr's even had the chance to get hold of them.

As a dragon-obsessed child, I was a big fan of the Dragonriders of Pern series by Anne McCaffrey. On a visit to my parents' house a little while ago, I found myself looking at some of my old Pern books, thinking about how much I'd loved the series when I was a kid. I flipped All the Weyrs of Pern open out of nostalgic curiosity and went from 'idly skimming' to 'ravenously devouring'.

I don't think I actually read All the Weyrs of Pern when I was a kid! At the age of twelve or thirteen, I was mainly into the 'mediaeval-style society with dragons' aspect and slightly resented the introduction of higher technology to Pern. As an adult, though, I'm fascinated by the 'mediaeval-style society discovers an intelligent computer' concept; it reminds me a little of Horizon Zero Dawn.

I'm not planning to revisit the entire Pern series, but the way All the Weyrs connects to the early history of Pern got me thinking about that early history, so I've just finished a reread of Dragonsdawn.

Anne McCaffrey: Here's the story of how the planet of Pern was settled! I'm more interested in the worldbuilding than in characterisation, really, but there are a handful of character traits to be found: this kid is wary and resentful, this woman is sexy and evil, this minor character is big and loud and aggressive and dramatic and arrogant and causing a lot of problems for everyone...
Riona: Er, could you - could you repeat that last one?

I was not expecting to come away from this reread with Ted Tubberman, of all people, as my favourite character, but apparently 'it's easy to envision this character being played by Robert Grove' is all I need. I particularly enjoyed him dramatically going 'Do your worst. I am man enough to take it' when nobody has the slightest intention of torturing him.

Anyway, justice for Ted Tubberman. He was trying to protect everyone when he stole and launched a homing beacon to call for extraplanetary help! I do not think 'order the entire population of the planet to shun him, forbidding them to speak to him or even to fight Thread that falls over his home' is a reasonable response!

I'm not entirely sure why everyone was so dead set against calling for help in the first place. The main arguments being put forward seemed to be 'it'll take ten years to get a response anyway' and 'we're a strong proud planet and should deal with our own problems', which almost seem to cancel each other out. Send the call for help off; now you've got ten years to deal with the problem yourself, and, if Thread proves too large an issue and is still destroying everything by that point, at least you haven't screwed yourself out of help by being too proud to ask for it a decade ago.

To be honest, I am giving a Tubberman-biased summary of the issues here. There are some genuine concerns about whether the Federated Sentient Planets will hold their assistance over Pern's head and the people of Pern will have to give up land in return, although these concerns are barely brought up in comparison to 'oh, it'll be ten years, and they might not even send help, and we're strong and cool enough to deal with our own issues'. It still seems worth at least sending out the call, so you have options if you're teetering on the verge of extinction in a decade!

And everyone hates Tubberman so much! Just because he's unlikeable and constantly causing problems! Yes, I know 'everyone hates him just because he's unlikeable' is a ridiculous thing to say, but I really didn't like the outright glee with which the administration decided he was to be officially shunned, a punishment that was, in the words of the people imposing it, 'psychologically destructive'. There's no room for unlikeable people in this utopia, apparently.

I just went on a desperate hunt for anyone else with some sympathy for Tubberman, and I was reassured to find this transcript of the Dragons Made Me Do It podcast:

Tequila Mockingbird: But, in this broader context, Ted is grieving, and nobody else seems to be interested in engaging with that, or sympathizing with the fact that he’s legitimately upset, for a good reason.
Lleu: Yeah. Everyone’s response to this is, like, “Ugh, Ted’s so annoying. He’s complaining again; he’s crying in public all the time.” Yeah, ’cause his daughter just got eaten alive!
Tequila Mockingbird: “Forget it, Tubberman.” “Sit down and shut up, Tubberman.” There’s no empathy from his community.

Yes! Tubberman's not just kicking up a fuss for no reason; he's grieving his daughter! He's trying to prevent more deaths from Thread! And none of the Good, Heroic characters around him react with anything other than eyerolling and 'hey, let's shun that guy nobody likes'!

I will give Drake Bonneau some points for hearing 'you're not allowed to fight any Thread that falls over Tubberman's home, he's been shunned' and going 'no?? I'm going to fight Thread anywhere it falls??? I'm going to at least check that things are okay at the Tubberman residence.' Nobody else gets any points. I demand compassion for the most obnoxious man on Pern >:(

I occasionally wonder how my twelve-year-old self would react if she somehow came across my present-day online presence. For the most part, I think she'd think I'm pretty cool! She'd admire my fanfiction; she'd love my websites; she'd largely enjoy my blog posts. But I think this one would mystify her. Who makes a Pern post entirely about Ted Tubberman, with barely a mention of dragons?

I have sprained my ankle and cannot walk! I am being so brave and cool about it. Here is how assorted favourite characters of mine would deal with a sprained ankle.

Robert Grove of The Goes Wrong Show would be an enormous drama queen if he sprained his ankle.

Rei: The drama society go out for a hike together, and Robert sprains his ankle immediately. He goes 'Go on without me!' and then protests when they actually start to leave. They think he should just go back, but he's determined to finish the walk.
Riona: He insists on being carried. They're all struggling to lift him together, and then Annie shoves everyone aside and picks him up in a bridal carry. Everyone is shocked by her strength. Robert falls in love immediately.
Rei: He forces everyone to construct a palanquin.

Light Yagami of Death Note would follow all medical advice and wouldn't make a big fuss where anyone could see, but he would be absolutely livid to be injured. An extremely unwelcome reminder that he's only human after all.

Korra of Avatar: The Legend of Korra would also be furious about it, and would absolutely fail to rest.

Ellie of The Last of Us (particularly Part II) and Squall Leonhart of Final Fantasy VIII would both try to hide their injury and keep operating normally. I'm sure that will go well.

Elena Fisher of Uncharted might actually be sensible about it; she'll take a 'well, that's frustrating, but these things happen' attitude and look after herself. I'll try to be more like Elena than like Robert, tempting as it is to make my housemates build a palanquin for me.


I was wondering if I had anything else to add to this entry, and I've suddenly realised that I shared this tiny anecdote on Tumblr but forgot to post it here!

The danger of attempting to work while thinking about your blorbo: I recently had to write 'Land Rover' in the book I'm editing. I wrote 'Land Robert' on my first two attempts and, on the third, managed to write 'Land Rovert'.

I deleted the 't', surveyed my triumph, then thought, I'd better double-check that the vehicle is actually a Land Rover. Opened the search bar and typed 'land robert'.

A few weeks ago, when I was checking the Goes Wrong Show tag on AO3, a fic caught my eye: a fic about Trevor, tagged with 'noncon' and 'transphobia'. I didn't open it, but it stuck in my mind because it was the first Goes Wrong fic to use the noncon warning. I was glad to see some darkfic in the tag; it's good for the ecosystem!

A few hours later, I checked the tag again and found that the fic had disappeared.

I'd noticed the author, and I knew how to contact him; we didn't really know each other, but we'd interacted in passing just by virtue of both being active in this relatively small fandom. I sent him a message just to check he was okay; I said that I'd noticed his disappearing darkfic, and that I hoped no one had given him a hard time for the themes. He explained that he'd just got nervous, thanked me for reaching out and said he might post it again some day.

Yesterday, he got in touch and said he'd found the courage to repost his Goes Wrong darkfic. I was thrilled! I promptly read it and left an enthusiastic comment. (The fic in question is Corrective by Kestrel_Wylde. Be aware that it's very dark; it's explicit noncon in which transmasc Trevor suffers at the hands of an OC, featuring drugging and misgendering.)

And then I kept thinking about it. How would the Cornley Drama Society, who barely have an ounce of emotional intelligence between them, deal with something terrible happening to one of their own?

And then, with the author's permission, I wrote a follow-up.

This fic is less dark than the original on account of being about the assault's aftermath rather than the assault itself, but obviously it includes a lot of the same dark themes. It should be understandable even if you haven't read Kestrel_Wylde's fic; I wanted to make sure it would be accessible to people who want to read about Trevor's recovery without wanting to read the explicit noncon that precedes it.


Title: Kintsugi
Fandom: The Goes Wrong Show
Rating: 16
Pairing: Chris/Trevor
Wordcount: 3,400
Summary: In the aftermath of being assaulted, Trevor tries to piece himself back together with the help of the drama society.
Warnings: Past noncon, mentions of misgendering.
Notes: A follow-up to Corrective by Kestrel_Wylde (mind the tags), written with permission. Trevor is transmasc.

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I went to Bristol to visit my cousins over the weekend and had an absolutely lovely time!

These were the cousins who originally introduced me to The Goes Wrong Show, so they had a lot to answer for. I confessed to how hot I was for Robert, and I was heartened when my cousin S said she understood completely. "He's not my usual type," she said, "but he has such presence."

S doesn't really know anything about fanfiction, but she read my Goes Wrong fic about Vanessa joining the Cornley Drama Society, The Outsider, and she seemed to enjoy it! She laughed quietly a few times while reading, which was very gratifying.

"You should get in touch with Mischief Theatre!" she said, very earnestly. "You should send this to them. I'm sure they'd love knowing that someone put this much thought into their characters."

I thought that this was a) extremely sweet and b) a suggestion only someone who isn't into fanfiction would ever make. If Mischief ever come across my fanfiction, it is going to be because a third party sent them the link to my Goes Wrong website with the message 'lol look at this weirdo', as God intended.

Being in Bristol also meant I had the opportunity to visit the Clifton Suspension Bridge, one of my favourite places in the UK! It was absolutely bucketing with rain, so we couldn't admire the view for long, but it's still a gorgeous place even in terrible weather. Here's a sketch of the bridge I did back in 2018, in a Bristol café, just after seeing it for the first time:


The photograph I took in 2018 and used as the basis for the above sketch:


And the photograph I took yesterday, in worse conditions but with a better camera:


It's such a pretty place! Highly recommended if you ever happen to find yourself in Bristol.

Yesterday, I was on the bus. It was almost empty; I was one of five passengers on the top floor, all of us travelling alone and scattered throughout the seating.

I was a little nervous when one of the other passengers - a man - left his seat at the front and walked back, past all the empty seats and the two men sitting between us, to sit next to me, the sole woman on the upper deck.

This story ends well.


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Anyway! This whole thing really got me thinking about kindness and humanity and brief connections with strangers. I don't know the name of the man who helped me out, and it's very unlikely that I'll ever see him again. But I'm glad he was there, and I hope good things happen for him.

And, if you have your own tales of a stranger doing something kind for you, I'd love to hear them!