Words.

So I'm writing in my journal for the first time in five months.

In some small part this is because I got a proper job offer last Monday, accepted it yesterday and started the job today. (I was at the place already temping so starting is unofficial.)

The stress that this has relieved is enormous although my happiness is muted as there is other stress that hasn't really lifted, including our "buy a pub in sunny Cornwall" plans. From my perspective this has been one of the worst weeks on record for this whole project, but that is because there's been emotional upset and it's left me seriously considering the wisdom in pairing with Tobin's folks. Heavy unpleasant stuff. But in a practical, pragmatic sense, it hasn't been bad. Next week there's a court case on one of the places we're shooting for and that will determine whether it's within a viable timeframe.

Anyway. So yes, I thought I'd write again, especially as I thought nobody who I've told in Bristol really could grasp the amusement I felt at the dream I had, the dream I just posted a writeup for. I have been reading posts, by the way. Anyway. Bed now, I'm tired and starting to fail to want to write in complete or coherent sentences.

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Being responsible is only a good thing if what you're responsible for is of positive benefit.

I have a dream, a song to sing to help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale you can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels, something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy to help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels, something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing to help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale you can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels, something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream
I’ll cross the stream - I have a dream

My general opinion is that privately-paid schools are there for wealthier people to be able to avoid the issues surrounding government-funded schooling.

In an ideal situation the government-funded schools would be good enough that the only people who would put their kids into private school would be the very motivated. By that I mean the reason they were putting their kids into a private school would be more obvious: ideological elitism, whether that be religious, classist, or xenophobic.

As it currently stands you can't separate those who privately school their kids because they want the best for the kids and those who privately school because they want to systematically indoctrinate their kids.

The issues surrounding private funding are problematic and ingrained. Those who can afford to attend a private institution are more likely to be able to fund their kids going to a private institution: our private schools in this country are part of the self-propagating barriers against social mobility, up and down.

The biggest reason I have something to say about this one is because I believe that having the either or barrier relating to opportunity in life is fundamentally central to the issues in this country surrounding poverty and degredation. I was lucky, in that our local comprehensive happened to be one of the best in the country, for a government-funded school: if you're in somewhere like Bristol, ability isn't your constraint on achievement, funding or luck is. Incidentally, however good our school was, they didn't have the resources to deal with the changes the government made in 2000 relating to A-levels, and my future suffered as a consequence.

In an ideal situation good government-funded schools would put private schools out of business across the entire UK, like they have somewhat in the South Hams. (kids went to ICC, not the private schools in Plymouth - except for the Catholic schools, of course, which is another whole thing.) You can't fix this problem with funded places for high-achieving poor kids, either: what about the kid who happens to have a parent who gets a raise out of the funded zone, or the kid who has a bad day and misses the entry grade by one mark? Do they deserve to lose out permanently, at the age of 10 or 11? No. The only way funded places widening participation would work is if it was for the majority of kids - and hey, that's what they call state schools.

Anyway. No easy answers or solutions, but some easy principles. [shrug] If our current government raises funded places as a solution to falling school standards (and trust me, I have beef enough with the three previous governments education policies to be non-partisan on this one) then they've entirely lost the plot.

Wow, a trial period programme that doesn't just remind you that it's trial period... but appears to delete itself when the trial period is up.

I'm actually shocked.

Like, flabbergasted.

I wonder how I make sure it's actually gone.

Edit: I take it back: it's not gone, but it had irrevocably stopped working until I pay and validate a license. Didn't even start up. As I said, I'm impressed.

I may be plagarising.

So I'm still as rough as a badger's arse.

It was funny. Had a choice this morning and my decision was completely at odds to what I would have decided in a permanent job. Do I take the linctus, or the expectorant? Do I be still my cough or do I cough this crap out? I chose the latter.

This is good as considering how badly I forgot my teamaking this morning - forgot as in when I tried to remember if I had I couldn't - probably means I'm not fit for duty. I felt great on Sunday, slightly worse on Monday and bad again on Tuesday, which means this bloody thing is sticking around.

I may try and apply for jobs too today because this job, temporary and dull, is hardly inspiring me to push the boundaries.

Anyway. Had one starbucks mug-sized cup of tea, somewhat cold: it may be time for another. Stupid throat hurts.

Del Toro quit the Hobbit, which was nigh on forgivable... he is now forgiven. Seriously. The H.P. Lovecraft Society 1920's retro version of Call of Cthulhu (much recommended) needs to be knocked off its perch as my favourite Lovecraft adaptation. (Dagon is good but to some degree, it is a comedy romp of a horror film.)

And the other big news of the day is that Tom Hardy, British actor in ST: Nemesis, RocknRolla and Inception amongst others, has fooled around with guys. And if refreshingly honest about it. It's very strange that even in a profession like acting men can't be honest about being, well, experimental. As an aside Tom Hardy is both fit and very, very weird - his appearance on Jonathan Ross was one of those funny interviews that straddled the border between haha and odd 'funny'. Also, he's been cast as the titular lead in Mad Max four... this boy's career is surprising, to say the least. Him in RocknRolla opposite Gerard Butler was awesome. If you've not seen it I don't want to say any more...

... of course that isn't the news but my facebook and boyfriend seemed to demand it was commented apon. I saw Inception last night. My advice for people going to watch it: turn on your brains during the trailers; don't wait for the film to ease you in gently. It's bloody brilliant. I don't want to say too much but it's that rarity: it is a consistent, compelling conundrum; it gets right what the original Matrix did not, and really focuses on the people. So yes. Definitely one of my new favourite films.

I'm sort of amused that the newest "Writers Block" - regret the things you've done, or things you haven't? - has a picture of a paraglider on it.