On a pedestal of false omnipotence

Not to be obvious, but I've got pretty nice tits. I've also been told by more than one person that I have very interesting eyes. They do that thing where the inside of the iris is a different color than the outside.

One physical feature I have that isn't in any way exceptional is my ankles. Don't get me wrong, they're perfectly serviceable, but they're also not anything special as far as ankles go. I bring this up because in LM Montgomery's book The Blue Castle, a book that I love wholeheartedly/maaaassively overidentified with, Valancy gets told she has nice ankles as part of her transformation from miserable doormat to beautiful wood nymph, and younger me was convinced that I also was going to grow up to have beautiful ankles. Of course, ankles aren't the source of titillation and desire today that they were in 1926, either.

I hope I can be forgiven for punking out on the post a day meme for Thanksgiving, and I hope I can continue to be forgiven for not getting back to it today either. See, I want to make my Christmas card post and making two posts a day seems mighty excessive in this day and age.

So, give me your addresses and I will send you mail! Let me know if you prefer extra-Christmassy or super-not-Christmassy type cards or what have you. Also, because of something shihadchick said, if you tell me where your misandry levels are at, I will do my best to combine the holiday spirit with man-murdering for your card. Comments are screened and all that jazz.

I'm an inveterate procrastinator and a terrible self-motivator. idk, I feel like people who spend a lot of time with me would be better equipped to answer this one. I haaaaaaate doing dishes and if I didn't live with two other humans I would pretty much never do it. This is borne out by the time I didn't live with any other humans and would just shove all the dirty dishes in the oven whenever anyone came over. I'm pretty judgmental, but I mainly only hang out with people who are judgmental about the same things, so that works out. I'm bad at making decisions, as a general rule.

Ugh, this meme involves so much talking about your feelings and like, introspection. I am not into it.

Here's a crappy work picture of the contents of my purse. First off: not pictured is at least a year's worth of pay stubs and receipts and accumulated useless papers. Also a tube of mints that I somehow missed.

Top row: my wallet, my kindle, an umbrella, a shopping list notepad, emergency tampon, nail file, hair clip and hair binder.

Next row: two fold-up-able shopping bags, my sunglasses, a little notepad/pen/mirror combo that was a gift from my grandma, two pens.

Third row: a USB to phone/kindle type USB cord, an LED flashlight, a packet of tissues, my birth control, a thing from my insurance where if I record how many times I go to the gym they reimburse my gym membership fees, a small mirror in a little gauze bag (also a gift from my grandma), a tiiiiny mirror and a mostly empty lip balm.

Bottom row: December SEPTA card, November SEPTA card, the earrings I was wearing yesterday that I forgot to take out of my bag when I got home from the gym, my keys, a 1 GB USB drive from when I worked at CHOP, a tiny Sharpie.

My cat hates it when she's on one side of a closed door and when people that are not her are getting fed. Eh? Eh? Pet hates, geddit?? :D?

But seriously folks, I hate when people walk too slowly in such a way that it's also difficult to pass them. Currently it's driving me nuts that my morning train conductor takes a total of four seats in the quiet ride car to do some sort of timetable thing, so I have to squish next to someone. In fic, the phrase "he went instantly, blindingly hard" makes me want to set the author on fire every time. Wearing turtlenecks or too many layers makes me feel squirmy and itchy all day.

People who touch their teeth to the fork when they're eating and make that horrible metal-on-bone scraping sound. Audio and visual being in any way out of sync. When a webpage takes more than 0.4 seconds to load. People who use anything other than the default font style in their emails. All men.

I can't really taste anything, other than a little morning mouth, I guess.

I can hear the heater running as well as the wind tossing the branches around outside. Not excited to go out there for yoga this morning.

I feel cinnamon bun toasty warm in my bed, except for my arms which are getting cold from typing. Also I feel like I really have to pee, which is warring with my toasty warmness.

I can see mostly the ceiling, my laptop and my knees under the blankets. A little bit I can see the two Cavashawn posters I have up over my dresser and my towel where it's draped over the radiator with my sports bra on top, where I set it to dry out when I came home from the gym Friday.

Oh, now I can hear my cat whining to go upstairs. Tough shit cat, I'm not moving yet.

It smells cold, which my phone is telling me it's in the 20s outside, so not unreasonable. I have a candle on my bedside table that smells like "Tahitian vanilla, spun sugar and coconut cream." There's also a reed diffuser on my mantle that smells like something weird. Oatmeal Rice Milk or something, I can't be assed to get out of bed and check.

1. Nothing Feels Like You by Little Mix. Love a song about finding a dude with the perfect shaped D. Many songs on this album are currently my jam, but I'mma limit myself to one.

2. We Own the Night by The Wanted. I am fully a sucker for all kinds of "I love everybody in this bar" songs. Also real talk, The Wanted cater much more to what I want out of pop music than One Direction. (aka NO ONE WANTS AN ACOUSTIC BALLAD EVER. PARTY JAMS ONLY.)

3. Somebody to Love by Queen. Brenna Rubdown posted this on tumblr recently and it reminded me that this is probably my favorite Queen song. (Though don't tell Brian May, but I'm pretty sure the first time I heard it was when Anne Hathaway sings it in Ella Enchanted.)

4. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. This song is on my workout playlist and I never get bored of it like sometimes happens with songs.

5. Brave by Sara Bareilles. (Or alternatively Katy Perry's Roar, I guess). I am super into both of them right now.

6. If I Didn't Know Better by Scarlett and Gunnar on Nashville. Team Carriage House is constantly screaming about this show, and physically bought both soundtrack albums they put out so far with our own money.

7. Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. Like two years later and it's still pretty much my ultimate jam.

8. The Beating of a Lifetime by The Appreciation Post. I didn't know if I was going to find this one on youtube, but of course they put it up themselves. Did you guys know they're apparently putting out new music soon?

9. Candy Cane by The Loved Ones. I gotta admit, I picked this one kind of at random out of all the Loved Ones songs. Any one of them is pretty great.

10. The Smidge by The Hold Steady. il all Hold Steadies as well. I have a playlist that's just all of The Loved One, Gaslight Anthem and The Hold Steady and I listen to it at least a couple times a week.

At that one point where you've got one foot on the jet bridge and one foot on the plane, I'm afraid that the jet bridge will pull away suddenly and I'll fall onto the tarmac. I don't have this fear on train/subway platforms, though. I'm afraid of spiders/bugs being on me, which is a shame because as a kid I was always scooping up spiders and putting them somewhere else at like, Girl Scout camp or wherever. I'm afraid I'll forget not to jump if I'm standing at the edge of a cliff etc. (In a l'appel du vide way, not a suicide way.) I'm afraid that I failed to live up to my potential and that my not wanting to live an extraordinary life at the tip of the rabbit's fur is in fact just me not trying because I'm afraid to fail. I'm afraid of bothering people, or disappointing people, or people being displeased with me. I'm afraid of cold calling people. I'm afraid of sharing my opinions/feelings first in case other people find them objectionable. I'm afraid to put my hands in places I can't see. I'm afraid of bees. I'm afraid of scary movies. I used to be afraid of RL Stine books until eventually I actually read one. Sometimes at night I convince myself someone's in my bedroom with me, just standing in the dark watching, and I get afraid of that.

I'm afraid this is Too Heavy of a post for a Friday afternoon.

Ugh, this is hardest one of these, I'm pretty sure. One because I don't deal well with absolutes like "favorite" or "best" in the first place, and two because I don't really collect quotes on any sort of conscious basis. I like this quote from my dad where he says "Ehhh, I suppose I'm quite fond of you too" every time I tell him I love him on the phone. Then he makes a kissy noise and hangs up. Dads are the best.

I just don't know. This question is really stressful for me. See you all tomorrow. Bye.

( Collapse )