(no subject)
I just wanted to write something. I have a thesis to work on, a house to clean (ok, so the toys got put up last night and the steam mop only takes ten minutes; it still needs doing), and my other half has been nice enough to take the kids for a few hours so I can do those things and I really should not be wasting a second of that opportunity, but I was feeling... I don't know, nostalgic? I don't think anyone else goes on LJ anymore either, and it's not like I'll think to check back here any time before the end of the decade, but there's something about writing down the way you feel and thinking that your friends might read about it that's just... nice.
Because I think Facebook is really a piss-poor substitute for LJ, you know? I know more about what my friends ate for dinner last week than about how they're feeling or thinking. About how life is changing. It's like we're so in touch with everyone nowadays that we don't know anyone, or something like that.
Whatever. I think the last time I was writing in this we were still in St Mary's, or maybe in Savannah. Either way, a really long time ago. A lifetime ago, almost, with as busy as these last years have been. I've learned so much, and I'm so thankful for all the opportunities I've had, even with the parts that give me nightmares.
I wonder, if someone got Alzheimer's and was given the chance to choose the memories they couldn't keep, which ones they would pick? I think the really hard ones sometimes define you too much to be willing to let go of. And even all those little mundane moments of hard work or little failures -- I used to think things like intelligence or ability were really important, but now I don't think they are. And if I forgot those moments and just saw my life today, I wonder if I'd see it like my kids sometimes do, like I'm successful at this-or-that because of some natural ability, which is just a straight up lie; there are lots of smarter and better people than I, and I have what I do mostly just because I didn't give up (a trait that is as much due to my husband as myself).
Every generation despairs of the next, I suppose. It always seems that they don't work hard enough, don't realize the consequences of their actions. But maybe we really just are so different as adults, at the other end of that strange divide, that it's impossible to see things from the perspective of someone who can barely remember they need a book for class tomorrow, much less plan for next month or next year or ten years from now.
Either way, that's enough woolgathering. Until we meet again,
Rheniel
Because I think Facebook is really a piss-poor substitute for LJ, you know? I know more about what my friends ate for dinner last week than about how they're feeling or thinking. About how life is changing. It's like we're so in touch with everyone nowadays that we don't know anyone, or something like that.
Whatever. I think the last time I was writing in this we were still in St Mary's, or maybe in Savannah. Either way, a really long time ago. A lifetime ago, almost, with as busy as these last years have been. I've learned so much, and I'm so thankful for all the opportunities I've had, even with the parts that give me nightmares.
I wonder, if someone got Alzheimer's and was given the chance to choose the memories they couldn't keep, which ones they would pick? I think the really hard ones sometimes define you too much to be willing to let go of. And even all those little mundane moments of hard work or little failures -- I used to think things like intelligence or ability were really important, but now I don't think they are. And if I forgot those moments and just saw my life today, I wonder if I'd see it like my kids sometimes do, like I'm successful at this-or-that because of some natural ability, which is just a straight up lie; there are lots of smarter and better people than I, and I have what I do mostly just because I didn't give up (a trait that is as much due to my husband as myself).
Every generation despairs of the next, I suppose. It always seems that they don't work hard enough, don't realize the consequences of their actions. But maybe we really just are so different as adults, at the other end of that strange divide, that it's impossible to see things from the perspective of someone who can barely remember they need a book for class tomorrow, much less plan for next month or next year or ten years from now.
Either way, that's enough woolgathering. Until we meet again,
Rheniel