letsgetempirical asked:
Do you have more Moby Dick: Modern Translation chapters anywhere that certain interested parties (me and everyone with taste) could read?
elodieunderglass answered:
In reference to this translation of Moby Dick into insufferable modern idiom, in which Ishmael is suddenly shown up in a startling light as a person we’ve actually met and knew well but didn’t really like:
I’m sorry, I haven’t written any more of that! After chapter 1’s mad rush of energy, the book tackles more tricky, boring and unfunny content, including passages that are just uncomfortably problematic in any time; and, like, entire chapters about listening to a church sermon.
A line translation (and that is mostly a very faithful line translation! The only thing I regret not doing was perfectly capturing the fart joke!) apparently has a lot of educational value, and helps to reframe the whole novel. That’s worthy work! But i simply wouldn’t want to do a line translation on the next few chapters. My brain is picking daisies instead, already. I would say: “sorry, I’m abridging this for my own mental health. You’re eligible for a free refund.” In which case the educational value is negligible (you can just read the plot summary online. There’s a really big whale in it.)
Anyone else who wants to take a stab at it (FROM HELL’S HEART) would be welcome and I’ll gladly promote your efforts. It’s just. I am going
🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼-🌼
- come here let me measure your head
You know that Margaret Atwood quote talking about how a major effect of existing as a women in a patriarchal society that objectifies women is that when you are a woman, even when you're alone, you can't escape that self-peception from the view of the male gaze?
The one that ends, "You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur."?
I really do think that pushing this concept precisely one degree further in the other direction would explain a LOT about how we ended up with this whole "Incel, looksmaxxing, manosphere" clusterfuck, I just need 20 minutes and an antidepressant to articulate how
Every once in a while, I wish the friendship meter from the Sims was real so that way when people tell me "I used Chat-GPT" they can visually see just how much respect I just lost for them in that moment.
Do you think it's like a rite of passage for every new generation of xmen to momentarily feel like it's kind of fucked up to be trying to kick the shit out of a senior citizen until magneto crumples someone into a cube like a trash compactor in front of them and they're just like Oh Ok
On the one hand I'm sure everyone else is very heavily emphasizing that magneto is Theee big bad of all time and so on and so forth the whole time the new ones are training but also. Like. Imagine you're the new new new mutants or whatever and somebody manages to actually knock magneto over and he stays on the ground for a second and you're kind of looking at each other like. Guys isn't he *really* old what if we just killed magneto & then the entire city starts shaking while he's getting back on his feet & you're like ohhh he's just REALLY ANGRY now. Ok :) oh that's bad :/ oh shit. Uh oh
[ID: tags from @transguyhawkeye that read, "#having a panic attack over whether you just broke magnetos hip meanwhile he just separated wolverine into recycling and organics for the #third time this week" /end ID]
Biggest positive change to my mindset in the last 5 years was to stop thinking that i was just dragging around the corpse of the person i could have been if i had only just - or the version of me that was successful or w/e and realizing that i can literally make my life look completely different if i want to. I can "kill" this life thats so unsatisfactory to me and build an awesome new life. And i can do it again and again however many times i want
It always gets me that the name "Gandalf" literally just means "Wand-Elf" or "Stick-Elf". I'm imagining old Gondorians just being like:
Librarian: I saw that weird guy at the library again today.
Guard 1: What weird guy?
Librarian: The old guy with the beard? Kinda elfy-looking, apart from the beard?
Guard 1: Oh, with the big-ass stick?
Librarian: Yeah, looked like he was carrying an entire tree branch.
Guard 2: Yeah, that's the Stick Elf.
Guard 1: Hell yeah, I fuckin' love the Stick Elf.
Librarian: The "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: He comes by every few years, usually after some weird book or other.
Librarian: Oh. Yeah, he wanted a treatise on goblin breeding habits.
Guard 2: Like, how they have sex? We have books on that?
Librarian: Yeah, turns out we do. I was as surprised as you are.
Guard 1: What'd the Stick Elf need a fuckin' goblin-fuckin' book for?
Librarian: I didn't ask. So you just call him "Stick Elf"?
Guard 2: I mean, he looks kinda elfy and he always has that stick, so, like, yeah.
Guard 1: Dude also has some fuckin' dope pipeweed.
Guard 2: Oh yeah, his pipeweed is awesome.
Librarian: How long has he been coming here?
Guard 2: Oh, for decades. He's, like, super old.
Guard 1: More like fuckin' centuries. Dude's old as balls.
Guard 2: Wait, really?
Guard 1: Yeah, my gran-gran used to talk about him. She loved his pipeweed too.
Librarian: So he's… an immortal pipeweed dealer?
Guard 2: I think he's just, like, a connoisseur. He doesn't sell it or anything. He just always has some really top-notch pipeweed on him.
Archivist: Oh, are we talking about Stick Elf?
Guard 1: Hell yeah we are!
Librarian: You know about the Stick Elf, too?
Archivist: Oh, totally. Stick-Elf's a super chill dude. Gave me some awesome pipeweed when I was maybe 12, and tee-bee-aitch I think I'm still a little buzzed from it.
Guard 1: What'd I tell ya, fuckin' dope pipeweed!
Archivist: Also he's really old.
Guard 1: Old as balls.
Librarian: Yeah, so Éodan and Jenniforomir were telling me.
Archivist: My grandpa used to tell me stories - he said one time he saw Stick Elf enter a smoke-ring contest.
Guard 1: Ooh, I'll bet he kicked fuckin' ass.
Archivist: Apparently the guy made an entire warship out of smoke and it flew around shooting down the other rings.
Librarian: And how much of this "fuckin' dope" pipeweed had your grandfather had by this point?
Guard 1: No no, that's totally plausible. Dude's got weird elf powers and shit for sure.
Archivist: He brought fireworks for the king's birthday one year, too.
Guard 1: Oh fuck, I forgot about those! Fuckin' incredible fireworks! Dragons and knights and glowy trees and shit! I was fuckin' 6 years old or something, they totally blew my mind. Hey Éodan, did you see that shit?
Guard 2: No, I think that's before I lived in Gondor.
Guard 1: Wait, you're not from here?
Guard 2: Oh, no, I grew up in Rohan. We moved here when I was, like, thirteen because my uncle Éojeff said he could get my dad a sweet job. And also that there were houses that didn't smell like horseshit.
Guard 1: Oh shit, are you related to Éojeff and Éosteve who run that æbleskiver stand on Norndîl St?
Guard 2: Yeah, they're my uncles!
Guard 1: Shit, they cook a fuckin' great æbleskiver!
Librarian: Ok, hold up a sec, "Stick Elf" can't possibly be his real name.
Guard 1: Why not?
Librarian: What? You think his parents named him in the hopes that he would carry around a fucking tree when he got older?
Guard 2: Maybe they gave him the tree when he was born!
Archivist: I don't think a baby could carry that stick.
Guard 1: You ever seen a baby hanging onto something? They're hella strong.
Archivist: It's not a strength thing, their hands are tiny. That staff is enormous!
Guard 1: My halberd's bigger 'n I am, I can hold it just fine.
Archivist: You're not a baby.
Librarian: Also why would elf parents name their kid "stick ELF"?! Presumably they know that their kid's going to be an elf!
Archivist: Is he actually an elf? I didn't think they grew beards.
Guard 1: How'd he get old as balls if he's not an elf?
Guard 2: His ears aren't that pointy. Maybe he's just a really old guy? Like, a Numémoriam or something?
Guard 1: Did you just say "Numémoriam"?
Guard 2: Nûnenorman? Munimõrbitan? Y'know, those guys like the king that can get super old.
Guard 1: You mean the fuckin' Númenóreans?
Guard 2: Yeah, the Númenóreums.
Archivist: Even the Númenóreans don't live THAT long.
Guard 1: Plus he carries that fuckin' stick around.
Guard 2: Wait, what does the stick have to do with it?
Guard 1: That's an elf thing. Y'know, trees and shit? Very elfy.
Librarian: Ok, look, but his parents naming him "Stick Elf" would be weird whether or not he's an elf. In fact, it's even weirder if he's not - what human names their kid "elf"?
Archivist: Huh. Yeah, you're right, he probably does have another name.
Guard 2: Yeah, I guess so.
Librarian: He's been coming here for decades and nobody's ever asked his real name?
Archivist: I dunno what to tell you, he's Stick Elf. Even his library card just says 'Stick Elf'.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah, the Stick Elf!
Guard 2: Maybe we could, like, ask him his name sometime?
Guard 1: Hey, look, Elrond's over there. He's old as balls too, maybe he knows?
Guard 2: Oh, we shouldn't interru-
Guard 1: HEY ELROND, YOU'RE OLD AS BALLS, RIGHT? WHAT'S THAT OLD ELF WITH THE STICK'S NAME?
Elrond (coming over): Do you mean an old man cloaked all in grey and blue, leaning on a rough-cut staff, who came to the great library this day?
Guard 1: Yeah, the Stick-Elf!
Guard 2: (Sorry to bother you, sir...)
Librarian: He's got to have a real name besides 'the Stick Elf', right?
Elrond: Indeed, for no elf is he. You speak of the wizard Olórin, wisest of the Maiar, older even than Eä itself. Many are his names in many countries: Tharkûn among the Dwarves; Incánus to the south; Mithrandir he is called among my people, the Grey Pilgrim.
Librarian: Oh.
Elrond: And here in the North he is called Stick-Elf.
Librarian: Oh.
Guard 1: Fuck yeah!
Stop posting workplace conversations on main
Is there a word for occupying the space where normies think you're a freak and freaks think you're a normie?
I tell a woman with a 9 to 5 office job about the slightly niche speculative fiction novel I just finished and she goes "Oh, that's...interesting. I hadn't heard of that."
I tell a grungy chick I met at a dive bar about the same book and she kinda scoffs and goes "Okay" like I said my favorite show is Sesame Street
secretlyasummers asked:
Who would be weirder about walking in on the other with a woman, Buffy or Faith?
explosionshark answered:
early seasons: faith would LOSE IT - you saw her tear her own world apart over angel and riley, just wait til buffy is with a WOMAN. immediately would set out to get buffy to kill her and she’d be REALLY gay about it. by comparison, buffy would just clam up and shut down. we are NOT thinking about the way the image of faith with that other girl somehow made her feel sick to her stomach and also a deep reverberating pang of wanting something she can’t name. probably she just wishes she and angel could fuck and is getting some wires crossed.
s7 and beyond: Buffy would be WAAAAAYYY more overtly weird. not that there’s anything wrong with faith being of the gay, you know, Buffy is straight not narrow ha ha like she’s got lesbionically inclined friends and that doesn’t bother her. she is NOT going to stop bringing it up. even though she doesn’t have a problem with it it’s just - huh. faith. and women. women and faith it makes sense you know. good for her. why can she not stop thinking about it.
meanwhile faith would react with poise for the first time in her life. calm, acceptance, maybe a little amusement. really chill. you know, b, always got a feeling about you… very light teasing and then maturely moving on. inwardly of course she is like well ACTUALLY it would feel less terrible to take my skin off with a vegetable peeler and jump in a vat of lemon juice but since that option is off the table she would probably just start looking for extremely dangerous situations to throw herself into perhaps if she dies badly and heroically and hotly enough, for one brief moment, Buffy will recall their previous gay tension and feel a pang of regret that they never got to make out and then she’ll toss a single red rose on top of Faith’s coffin and weep.
so y'know - it depends!
this is so late renaissance early mannerism. the controversial male nudity? the lighting and value on the figure of emphasis?? him bathed in light and placed ABOVE while the police are clad in dark and BELOW?? Uh HES HITTING THE CONTRAPPOSTO??
On one hand: this imagery touches on themes of freedom vs oppression and how in shedding the various layers of shame placed upon us by the regime we can transcend to a higher place above the forces that seek to hold us to unjust societal standards.
On the other hand: cheeks out at the Krispy Kreme.
film negatives of a lesbian couple i found at a thrift store, estimated circa 1985-1995.
