kickin' tards and chewin gum

Oh, whadaya know, my attempts at suicide were unsuccessful. welp, i guess i'm back to my old ways.
HEEEEY loookit, the tards' are studying for the PSATs. NCLB rules!
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CLICK ME CLICK ME CLICK MEEEEEE

aw, nevermind. she deleted it.
it was silly though.

haha, well since it's face is not showing, I thought this would be a fine chance to show off my awesome digital candid camera photo.
I couldn't resist ;D

i found a bunch of pictures of retards from
my school on the student files folder.
enjoy. ( Read more...Collapse )

this weekend i had a horrible rectifying encouter with not one, or two, but a whole bus load of retards around me. i think god is punishing me.
so right, onto the tale of those born with tails; my friend Beth is an amazing bowler, she's on a league and she just wipes the floor with my ass when it comes to the sport...is bowling a sport? whatever, her family is amazing at it and her brother has already bowled a 300.

well, her party was this weekend at the local bowling alley. i got there like, 30 minutes late and upon arival i turn around and this huge down's kid comes bounding through the doors and picks up a brightly colored ball. i was terrified. well, i step down to the bowling lane and Beth comes up to me and is like 'Bianca, don't make an ass of yourself and say anything.' well, i could honestly say that the incident with the giant retred and his lightweight balls was over but just as i was about to say something, i look forward to where Beth was pointing and i see a whole party of them putting on their bowling shoes and leg braces.

as if my luck couldn't get any worse, i hear a bus pull up and then the mechanical whirling of a wheelcharlift and then the intolerable screaming of the sub-species retards are. that's when i died.

so, you may be asking yourselves; 'but Bianca, how do retards bowl?' well i'll tell you. because you can't have anything that is restricting in this world, and everyone has to be a team sport the owners of little ol' mom and pops bowling alley brought out these twisted metal things that look like they belong in a pin ball machine, only ten times bigger. they put the pinball ramps up to the wheelchair bound creatures and then put the bowling ball on top of the device and push. but because of the way the ball falls down the ramp the ball is in the centre lane AND their bumbers were up. so the tards got, like strikes everytime...unless their balls got stuck (haha) in the middle of the lanes because they gave them pussy pushes.

at the end of their fun, all the little fuckheads got a trophy. everyone is a winner, making no one a winner.

so, i was on my merry little way to the airport teminal and i sat down with my starfucks coffee in one hand, and a big stack of racist jokes my friend printed out for me on the way. but yes, onto the story...so i see this mom pushing a toddler in one of those baby carts things, y'know, a STROLLER, that's it. so the mom was pushing the tot in the stroller and suddenly the kid just flops out and lands on her head, whap. like, you hear her tiny little skull just braking on the linoleum floor.

well, i just found this humorous enough by itself, but then the mom goes and continues to walk a couple steps further with the stroller and run the little girl over some more! it was amazing, i started cracking up and my mother, who was sitting right next to me is saying really loudly "why isnt she strapped in? someone should call DCFS on her! omgomgomgimasillyfirecrotchedslutomgomgomg"
i'm pretty sure the kid turned into a gooble because it wasnt crying, just sort of whimpering like a dog that's had its nuts frozen to the front porch like on that kevin spade movie. ah ha.

we made quite the scene.

HYE MY NMAE IS DUSTY COOPER N I HVAE DOWN SYNDROME SO PLEES B NISE OK? U GISE R SO MEEN Y DO U HATE REETARTID PEEPL SO MCUH? WAHT DID EW EVR DO 2 U? U NO WE MKAE GRATE FRENS N WE R FUNE 2! I NKOW I M FUNE WEN I M AT SKOOL N I DORP STUF PEEPL LAFF C I M FUNE! HAHAHA

U NO JESUS WIL SNED U 2 HELL 4 BEIN MEEN 2 DIFFERNT PEEPL U NO N ILL GET DRATH VADER 2 KIKE UR BUTTS!

HEY!!! people!!! It's Emily if u didnt already know!!!

okay, so last night i went with james, erik and meera to gamestop. erik and james were speaking in ghetto to eachother so meera and i didn't talk. we were in line so erik could exchange some games for this other game or something. anyways...out of nowhere, this family comes in. i THOUGHT it was a mom and 2 little boys, but damn, was i wrong. the one little boy was actually...a retarded little girl with a mullet!! she had a retainer, which she popped out of her mouth 3 times ONTO THE FLOOR, after which she proceeded to put it back in. she talked like a retard too. it was pretty scary.

all right. i'm gonna give you 2 examples of retards.

1. eric forslin: doesn't shower. doesn't talk much either, but when he does he says all this weird shit, like "when i kicked the basketball it blew up and the whole town got hurt."

2. john rogers: also doesn't shower. tries to get with me, he has a speech impediment so he's all like "my name is jon whagers." he's sick. he ADMITS to us about not brushing his teeth. ugh.