To Remain Resilient

Just curious. How does anyone feel up to a little sparring match here and there? I don't know. Maybe over in Commons or something? Maybe it has something due to the fact that I wasn't exactly participating or playing a part at all during the Skills Contest, whatchamacallit but whatever.

I don't feel quite right just sitting around reading and doing pretty much nothing. Can't let myself get rusty either, not with this whole idea of us fighting some war or anything. Reading books in the dorm can only do so much...

For your information, I'm an "battle" alchemist so to speak and fairly good with a sword so, anyone care to take up the challenge or not?

...Anyone have any painkillers? Please? I really could use them.

PRIVATE
Bloody damn menstrual cramping... I should have seriously just asked that Requisition thing for some before but bloody hell~!!
/PRIVATE

...Hughes... It would seem that there is a Maes Hughes here but I'm very confident that it's not my world's Hughes... Then again I'm very confident of a lot of things here... Including the fact that I might be the only one from my world that will come here but I suppose that's fine.

I know I haven't been vocal much but what could be said? I found something to work on in the past few days and I hope that will mean something in the end. It's not a way out but it's just easier to keep the mind occupied with something and the fact that I don't think I should be socializing now is not helping. I just need time alone...

Haven't met with Alphonse or Fullmetal yet, though I did get a rather disturbing comment via this contraption from the latter. He has not answered back yet... I can't help but worry... Especially with what Ms. Yuuko had told me through this thing.


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They just started to integrate a new system of separation for us. Combat, Mechanics or Medical. I, of course, choose Combat. It's all I'm good for, especially since I have no will or want to create something which I believe is more or less a requirement for Mechanics and my medical abilities are lacking last time I checked. I would not be anything more than just a mere cadet in medical training though I know back in the day I would have been a Lt. in "rank" for that field but I chose combat then so why not this time?

I haven't met Alphonse or Fullmetal yet. I have caught snippets of Fullmetal's journal entries as well as a notice. Wishes, Fullmetal? There is nothing good about wishes. I would have believed that you most of all wouldn't believe in them with your atheist look on life, but I suppose there might have been a reason.

Another woman had spoken of wishes and I believe I could imagine a sorrowful tone in her typing of that journal post. Whatever it is, it must not bode good for anyone.

In other news, I finally found my dorm and yet have met any of my dorm mates in person. I suppose that is fine by me. Mr. Wilder, I hope you don't mind but I had transmuted a few "walls" around my bunk for more privacy. It's not that I do not trust you but I prefer my privacy in a room already filled to capacity. Please do not mess with them, I would not like to hurt you for all the courtesy you had shown via these contraptions, thus far.

I still not have received my cigarettes.

Not quite sure what is going on still. I know is that either I have lost my way to my assigned dorm due to my body's physical condition or I am just not as directionally orienated as I originally thought, which is odd as I know my direction is one of the finests. I'm just going to blame the former for the moment.

However, I seem to be just fine save for a few open wounds. I just recently gave a request for bandages and such. I'm still trying to determine how in the name of a Forsaken God I am without too serious of injuries, though if I keep my current ones untreated I know they would worsen due to infestation and infection.

...I do need a smoke right about now. Or a shot of whiskey. Mmm... Whiskey. Damn, I knew I should have drank that entire bottle of Amestrisan Finest Whiskey before going off on working on that coupe. Oh well.

My dorm assignment has been given. I will be dorming at Ast-Ennea with

• Jack Sparrow
• Zelos Wilder
• Folon

I wonder which bed is left, not that I mind so much which one I will get. Most likely I will be able to customize it to my liking.

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Where am I exactly? Better yet, where's the child? Hawkeye? The burning mansion. I know Pride is dead, I have no worries of that but I must wonder, why am I alive? That makes no sense at all. The injuries I had sustained at Pride's hands were great and the bullet wound I had received from that half-automail bastard should have killed me. This worries me greatly for good reason. I wish, I knew everything.

This Warden person tells me that I am being drafted for a War. Great, another War? Why must there be wars, surely there are other ways to fight and protect—if that is truly the reason why we are to fight. Wars are meaningless and useless, not to mention complete wastes of time, effort and human lives. God damn it, as if Ishbal was already enough of war for me. The leaders of this place probably are no better than Pride and the corrupted Generals of Amestris.

I hope Hawkeye is alright. I heard her screaming my name when I supposedly "died." The same concern is for the rest of my staff. I am not so heartless that I would not care for them but I know that if they stay smart they will be safe. They are always very much intelligent men, a good trait in such an idiotic military.

For how long will I stay here and when I am done… where will I go? Will I just finally die? Or will I be sent back to Amestris? So many questions, so little answers.

Well, if all else fails, I might as well follow this path wherever this takes me. That's what Maes would have said… I hope. It's just been too long since he died and I really do wish he was here with me now but alas, he's dead and I'm well… not.

But just for how long?