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Dearest Friends,
This is Deanna's son Brandon reaching out to you with the deepest sadness. My beloved Mother, the lovely and talented Deanna, has lost her battle with Breast Cancer, and past peacefully on January 17th at the Mayo Clinic. To the end she was the bravest and strongest woman I have ever known. As she past she was surrounded by friends and family who all loved her dearly as I know that all of you here do. I wish I could be bringing better news. My Mother always treasured sharing her life in this journal and with amazing people, and always spoke highly of all the wonderful stories she read here. For anyone local, there will be a Gathering Service at Quinn Shalz located at 3600 Third Street South this Tuesday January 22nd from 6p to 8p, and my family asks that for anyone who is interested, in place of flowers you can make a donation to 26.2 with Donna, which is a local charity that does Breast Cancer Research. Again I am terribly sorry that I can not be bringing better news.
Deepest Sympathy,
Brandon

I know I have't been here lately, but it's been a rough year and time just seems to fly by. A couple of you wanted to know how things are going so I thought it was time for an update.
Last week I had my PET Scan after being on the chemo drug Erubulin for about 3 months or so. Turns out it wasn't up to the job of eradicating the cancer and was just letting all those silly cancers cells spread Willy Nilly all around. The tumors we originally had are growing back, Some new ones in the lungs and and some in the lymph nodes. And if that wasn't bad enough, it apparently let it's guard down further and let them get ino the liver, Ilium and a tiny area of the sacrum!! Well, my good Doctor immediately took this slacker drug and fired him on the spot. We decided on a new set of drugs. This set of drugs can only be used once in a lifetime. You also have to have a Echocardiogram to make sure your heart can tolerate it. Must admit I found that a bit daunting, but I trust Dr Moreno and know he knows what he's doing.
I couldn't start the drugs immediately (numbers had been a bit low so he wanted to give my body a chance to be stronger so as to tolerate them better!). I had been having some vision issues. (Imagine a Jack 0 Lantern mouth out of the peripheral part of your eye with bright colors pouring from it, and words with half the letters chopped out of them and you have no idea what you are reading!! Loads of fun!!) so an MRI was ordered! Luckily I went in on standby and got it and my Echocardiogram and my MRI done early on Thursday! I got a call the next morning from the Fellow who was taking the place of my regular doc (who was in Chicago at a conference! All my docs seem to go out of town when serious things are found!) and advised me that the MRI showed "numerous"brain mets (did you know there really isn't an equivelant number for "numerous", LOL). Well, it seems you cannot be on chemo and whole brain radiation at the same time, so my chemo was put on hold and they managed to rush me in to an appt with the Oncology radiation doc. Her game plan is 10 sessions of whole brain radiation. you have it every day except holidays and on the weekends. She and the fellow also determined I needded a steroid to help with the swelling in the brain from the mets. Now this is really fun. It's called Decadron. It raises your blood sugar A LOT, and it works like SPEED! So if you can imagine me as hyper as you have ever seen me and multiply that by 10, this gives you an idea of how I am right now. Probably not a good thing, but I did cook up a roast, homemade gravy and mashed potatoes Sunday night. I'm also talking a million miles a minute and have gotten a lot of work done around the house! I have to find out tomorrow if I'm still allowed to drive. I'm not sure if the mets prevents that or not. I noticed I still had some vision issues this evening so I'm not sure.
Whole Brain Radiation. The New playground I referenced in the subject. What a grand time that is. First they take you into the room where you get your treatments (looks like a CT scan room which is basically what they use.) you lay down on the CT table and they take this mesh material and wet it and put it on your face. they stretch it tight (it is mesh, so you can breathe) and cool it down so it hardens and makes a mask you have to wear for each of your treatments so they hit the right areas and you dont move your head. You then have this PLASTIC PILLOW thing under your head and it's like laying on a rock! (Gonna have to seriously speak to someone about that! Surely there is something better!! Maybe I'll invent one!) On the plus side (YES Virginia, there is a plus side!) They let you listen to whatever kind of music you want to calm you down and give you something to concentrate on! I asked for classic Rock and listened to The Hollies doing Long Cool Woman (a personal favorite), Tom Pettty doing Freefalling (probably not a great one for a table with no arms on it!) and Lynrd Skynrd doing Simple Man ( one of their best I think). As you can see, I got lucky and it didn't take as long as I thought it would . 3 songs worth. It's a bit creepy to lay there with something holding your face down, but with the music and the little ring they give you to hold on to, then it flies by pretty fast. The wierdest part of the whole thing is that when they did the radiation, I saw light "behind" fmy eyes. (my friend Dan says it's because nothing is in there and it was just bouncing around an empty space, LOL). I asked the Nurse, and she says that some docs think its the radiation hitting an optic nerve, but others think people just might be seeing it behind the eyes. I would of course be different, wouldn't I?
I had a bit of pressure in my head off and on today, but no other massive side effects so I'm guessing it's a good sign. I'm hoping it will go quickly and we find it works and then we can concentrate on the other tumors again. I refuse to give up! It's just a minor setback, that's all! I could of course sit around and cry (OK, I did do that a little bit one day!) but it's the way it is so one must make the best of it. I'm trying to just enjoy each day as it comes and hope I can keep it going. I read somewhere that if I can make it 5 years with the triple negative breast cancer, then I can probably make it 20! That's my goal!!
Hope you are all doing well. I will try to make it back here a bit more often and get up to date with everyone! Huge hugs to all and if I misspelled or it doesn't make sense, then I will use the radiated brain excuse!!

These are my friends and co-workers. They all ran the 26.2 Run with Donna. The marathon to Finish Breast Cancer. It's held every year here in my town of Jacksonville at the place I work, Mayo clinic Jacksonville. They all had signs made that they wore saying they were running for me and "my girls"! LOL. I will be having another PET CT scan tomorrow to see if and how the chemotherapy I'm taking is working. I've had the surgery now and we need to find out if the chemotherapy is doing what it should and keeping the rest of my cancer in the lungs at bay.

Yesterday we did the PET CT scan to restage my cancer after being on Chemo for 2 cycles of 3 weeks on and one week off. Yesterday we also got the results. The 9mm metastatic nodule in the lungs has gone down to 4mm. All the lung nodules AND the main breast cancers have shrunk "considerably"! Their very word, "considerably"! A very nice word I think. It certainly pleased me. And if that wasn't great enough, one of the main reasons they do a PET scan for oncology patients is that it measures something called an SUV. This stands for Standard Uptake Value. Basically it measures the activity in the cancer "hot spots". When we started my SUV was 10.7. It is now down to 2.2. This is just incredible. It means that not only is the chemo working on shrinking but it's slowing down the cancers process as well. There was no evidence of any more spreading either. I'm just ecstatic. I never expected there to be this much of a change this fast. We don't know how long this will keep working but just to have it work this well is good enough for me. I had asked about going back to work, since going on Long term disability will lower my pay down to 65% of my regular income. That's a pretty big amount to lose and I'd really rather not. However the doctors don't want me to add stress and strain in my life right now. They indicated that we need to get a bit more Chemo under my belt to see how I do before adding the stress of work back into the mixture. I definitely do NOT want to jeapordize the process especially since it is going so well. I believe everything happens for a reason, so I'll just wait and see how it goes. I don't have too much in the way of side effects. All my hair fell out, and I got scalp acne. I'm having tons of bad yeast infections and the shortness of breath is still there. I have only had a little numbness and it goes away shortly after treatments. A little nausea but the meds they give me works quite well and it lasts for 8 hours at a time so you don't have to take too much of them. I have had a lot of bad days, but for the last week I've been feeling a whole heck of a lot better. I would say on the whole that I have been extremely lucky and will hope that it will continue to work for a good long time.

Thanks so much for all the well wishes and kind thoughts from all of my friends here. I believe in the power of caring friends and know this has helped me out in all of this. Thanks to all of you!!!

Well, we finally got all the testing we needed yesterday so that I could be in a Clinical trial for a new med that showed very promising results only to find that the government put the study on hold because they felt the wording in the study needed to be rewritten. So since we had already waited so long, our joined concensus was to forgo the study and just get started on the Chemo. We were not sure how long we would have to wait for it to be reworded and for it to be approved by the FDA again. I will admit to being a bit frustrated because I keep seeming to fall through cracks in our medical system and having to use more and more time for everything, I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and I will just accept it.
On your first day of Chemo they give you meds to help deal with the side effects. You may or may not have these side effects and they may be severe or mild. One is a large dose of Benedril. Now I've taken Benedril before, and all it usually does is make me sleepy. Today I got the giggles at first and just couldn't stop laughing. My sister and son Brandon came with me to the first Chemo day and thought this was funny as all get out. Not even sure now what we were talking about, but I can say it was funny as hell. Brandon says he wants to come to all my Chemo days just to watch that. I have a feeling they will lower the dosage if they find out I don't need as much.
The next thing is that when the main chemo drug went in, I could feel it going to certain areas of my body. I don't know if the nurse believed me or not and I'm not sure I know what it was, but the whole time the chemo was going in, I would feel these "twinges" in different areas. Not really a pinch, but more like someone sqeezed a grape. I told the nurse that I thought it was eating cells. Since the chemo training we had (to teach you what to expect and how to deal with it!) explained that the chemo drug destroys bad as well as good cells, I'm going to hope that I don't really have cancer in all the places I felt it working. I don't have the results of the whole body bone scan, but I did have a staging PET scan and it didn't show anything except the breast and lungs we know about.
I was itching off and on but I'm the kind that if you mention itching, I start itching. It was one of the things they told us to watch out for since it could be an allergic reaction, so I had it in my mind. Not really sure on whether that was in my mind or real. The benedril also makes your mouth dry and they mentioned mouth sores, so of course your mind starts to wonder if the dryness was just benedril reaction or something else.
This is actually one of the hard parts. They give you a LOT of information. Tell you to watch out for a LOT of things, and then when you start to feel things, your mind is wondering if it's real or imagining or a combination of both. The nurses there were really great though. They stressed calling the line they have for ANYTHING. There are people on call day and night and they kept telling us to call them if we had any problems or questions. Even if you have an appt the next morning, they said go ahead and call that night. It's a very nice facility and the rooms are very comfortable. They have TV's in them and all kinds of nice aammenities. They have a lady who comes around selling sandwiches and chips and crackers or drinks. Anything you might like or want while you are sitting there. I had brought some things and since my first treatment was only going to be about 2 hours, I was good. We didn't really watch the TV, mostly just talked and laughed. I wouldn't even have minded just sitting there and reading a book, but for the first one, I was glad to have family there.
I had the first uses of my "Port"! The catheter device they tunnel under your skin. It's connected to a vein and they use it to draw blood, deliver drugs, chemo, etc. They gave me this "Emla" cream that is used to numb the skin so you won't feel the needle going into the port, but evidently I'm not using enough of the cream or applying it wrong, cos I felt it going in both times. It wasn't really painful, just a poke like you'd get on a regular blood access. The plastic tape they put on hurts worse coming off than the needles do going in.
I haven't been nauseous yet. I say yet, since I don't want to jinx it but I'm truly hoping I'm one of the people who doesn't get nauseous. They did give you anti nausea meds with the Chemo, and I know they last for a long while. I think she told me days, but honestly I think I missed that part, so I'm not sure if the days was for something else. I had a few moments where I thought I felt rocks in my stomach, but it didn't last too long each time, so I'm gonna hope that was something else. My friend said her mother only had to use her anti nausea pills once or twice, so I'm hoping it will be that way for me too. The biggest thing about today was the benedril sleepiness. I've eaten and tried to stay up for a bit so I could make sure I would sleep through the night. I bought ALL this stuff to eat help if I was nauseous and so far I haven't needed it. It's good to be prepared though. We made up a trash can with plastic bags in it! Made Jello, got juice bars and electrolight juice. Cans of soup and....wait...I think I forgot crackers. Might have to run up to the store again. Thank Heavens for 24 hour Wal-Marts! LOL! This way we lessen the chance of anything happening.
I have been watching the Game of Throne series and just LOVE it. I have been reading the first book just behind the series, but I cannot wait to find out what happens. It is gonna take them at least SEVEN years to get through it all and I need to know NOW!! Damn little Joffrey needs to DIE soon! I bought all the books and they will get me through my Chemo sessions. I'm quite in love the George RR Martin. He writes excellent books and for those who have been wondering, the books run extremely close to the series. Thank you producer and assistant writer George for that. For those who havent seen the series yet, I cannot recommend it highly enough. The filming, the scenery, the characters, everything about this series is just wonderful. Read the books too. They are just as awesome. (more so I think, cos you get so much more detail!!) I even bought myself a nice dragon bookmard to go in my "Song of Fire and Ice" books!
Well, I guess I'll go to bed now, cos the sleepiness is coming back. Hope you are all doing well and I hope to reply to my journal friends soon!
 

We have this little black tree at work that I got a few years ago at a Walmart here in town. It started as a joke, but we soon started to decorate it for every holiday that came around. My little tree is quite well known now and people from all over the department like to come over and see the new decorations each holiday and season. I found out today that my friends decided to have the tree show all of their support for me in my time of need. I'm so lucky to have so many good friends who care about me. Isn't this the most awesome thing you have ever seen? Thanks so much to my LJ friends, my work friends, my family and everyone else who cares so much about me. Your support and caring mean the world to me!
 

I haven't been here much lately and don't even remember the last time I posted anything. I peek in and read a post or two and try to respond though most times I just can't think what to say. This isn't going to be an easy post but I want...no I NEED it to be said. For the last few years, I've been getting illness after illness. I just knew something was wrong but they never seemed to find anythng. This week I got a pathology report with two words that change everything. Indraductal Carcinoma. Or in layman's terms, Breast Cancer. Two weeks ago I had really bad abdominal pain and went to the ER, they did a chest xray and I think because of a swelling in my leg that we now think might have been a spider bite they thought I was having a stroke. Nothing showed but I was told to touch base with my regular doctor in a few days. (it was over the weekend. EVERYTHING that happens to me ALWAYS happens on the weekend, LOL). My doc wasn't in, so the resident ordered an abd/pelvis CT. This showed some abnormal findings in the lungs, the duodenum, the endometrila canal and the kidney. This led to a CT of the chest which showed abnormal findings in the breast and the thyroid and multiple nodules in the lungs suspicious for metastasis. Then there was the Mammo, spot compressions, Ultra Sound and then Biopsy of the breast. Had to do standby on all the rest of the tests but except for minor things nothing else showed. They decided to do a lung biopsy which we are waiting on the pathology for it, but it looks like it is definitely metastasis. I have a brain MRI next week since they want to make sure it hasn't spread there either, due to a few symptoms I've had. When it has spread, they want to start the Chemo first to try to shrink the metastatic areas down before doing the surgery to remove the breast. The Breast clinic doctor tellls me that it is not the death sentence it used to be, but I know that with it having already spread I have less of a chance than I would have if it was only in one place. I go from "I'm gonna fight this and win" to "I'm not ready to die yet" and to everything inbetween minute by minute back and forth all day long. They gave me something for anti-anxiety, but it makes me so loopy that I hate to take it since I want to be aware right now and not sleeping.  I wasn't going to say anything, but I'd hate for my friends and those who would just wonder at some point, what the heck happened to me. It's rough tellling my friends cos I hate to make them feel bad and really, you can't change anything. It is what it is. I intend to put up one hell of a fight and if I don't make it well, I know where I'm going so it won't be bad there either. I just couldn't disappear without a trace. I love Live Journal and all the wonderful friends I've made here. I had no idea when I started this how much of a change it would make in my life and I'm so grateful I found my way here. For everyone on my friend list you've given me so much and I just wish I could have given you something back to show how much you have enriched my life. My goal is to make this a yearly post and see just how many years I can beat those two words and show them they can't take me out. I've been doing a few fun things like going to the movies, taking a trip to a nearby swamp, going to IKEA and having meatballs!! Just fun stuff to take my mind off of things and because I know when the Chemo starts I won't much feel like doing anythng. Please don't feel bad. I don't want you to feel sorry for me, cos I'm gonna give this all I have and I intend to win. I just want you to know how much you have and will continue to mean to me and I appreciate all the wonderful stories, pictures, chats, sharing and all you have done for me.
Huge Hugs for all of you!

I'm sorry to say I haven't had much time to be here lately. Diabetes is taking it's toll and between that and work and family and friends, there just never seems to be enough time for anything anymore. I just to fret and worry but now I just learn to live with the punches. There will come a time and a day when I can slow down and hopefully it will be before I'm dead! LOL! I wish all the best for all my friends this Christmas season. Lots of love, lots of laughter. Plenty of food and just enough presents to grant a wish or two. While I may not always say it, you are all dear to me and I'm blessed to have known each and every one of you. I hope the coming year is everything you hope it will be. *hugs* As I do every year, I shall post my favorite Christmas story. It's a winter story and not really a Christmas one but it gives one the good feeling that comes with the holidays. A bit sad but in a good way. A nice little Yami no Matsuei fic that never fails to warm my heart. The link back to the wonderful girls who wrote this wonderful short story are here, bishonink on their Advent Calendar! It's day 15, and called Not alone in the Dark. I think you'll enjoy it, and maybe it will brighten up your day as it always does mine! 

   

Not Alone in the Dark  

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Working in a medical facility, I tend to have access to things of a medical nature and with all the talk of H1N1 Flu, I thought I'd pass along this helpful chart to guide you into determining the differences between a cold and the FLU.

Handy chart for determining which is which.

Also see this web page for more info    http://www..webmd.com/cold-and-flu…

This is such a helpful chart; pass it along to anyone you know.     Know the Difference between Cold and H1N1 Flu Symptoms  Symptom   Cold   H1N1 Flu   Fever   Fever is rare with a cold.   Fever is usually present with the flu in up to 80% of all flu cases. A temperature of 100°F or higher for 3 to 4 days is associated with the flu.   Coughing   A hacking, productive (mucus- producing) cough is often present with a cold.   A non-productive (non-mucus producing) cough is usually present with the flu (sometimes referred to as dry cough).   Aches   Slight body aches and pains can be part of a cold.   Severe aches and pains are common with the flu.   Stuffy Nose   Stuffy nose is commonly present with a cold and typically resolves spontaneously within a week.   Stuffy nose is not commonly present with the flu.   Chills   Chills are uncommon with a cold.   60% of people who have the flu experience chills.   Tiredness   Tiredness is fairly mild with a cold.   Tiredness is moderate to severe with the flu..   Sneezing   Sneezing is commonly present with a cold.   Sneezing is not common with the flu.   Sudden Symptoms   Cold symptoms tend to develop over a few days.   The flu has a rapid onset within 3-6 hours. The flu hits hard and includes sudden symptoms like high fever, aches and pains.   Headache   A headache is fairly uncommon with a cold.   A headache is very common with the flu, present in 80% of flu cases.   Sore Throat   Sore throat is commonly present with a cold.   Sore throat is not commonly present with the flu.   Chest Discomfort   Chest discomfort is mild to moderate with a cold.   Chest discomfort is often severe with the flu.     The only way to stop the spread of the epidemic is to spread the awareness.

Well, yes.....mostly! (they mostly come out at night....mostly) I won't bore you with the sorry details. It's medical issues and work problems and family deals. Suffice to say i'm not dead yet. We did go to ScreamFest Orlando a couple of weekends ago. (me and my child and 2 other friends.) Spent the weekend there. Couldn't really afford it, but sometimes you just have to do things anyway. Funny thing is that I HATE horror movies. I love horror art and I like to read Ghost and Supernatural type stories but I absolutly cannot stand to be scared. So I go for the art and the crafts and the books. Well worth it to me. I'll bore you with a few pics before I close.

Not sure if or when I'll get caught up but when I have the time, I try to read the posts even if I don't have the time to respond. My computer died a few weeks ago, so I was without a computer for a bit. I went and put a new one on my credit card and will be paying on that for a good long time. Again, REALLY worth it to me! Hope everyone is OK and if there is something I really do need to see or know, just tell me!

Big Hugs and lots of Love to all my friends!!



 

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