babble horde

Sarah was peopled out for the day and needed some alone time to decompress. She’d politely dismissed Jareth’s concern and insisted he not interrupt his current project, but she did ask if he’d mind if she could listen in to hear his voice.

She changed into one of Jareth’s shirts and headed for a shady tree in one of the castle’s gardens, smiling in delight at the hammock that had been set up to await her. With a somewhat ungainly mount, Sarah settled herself into the hammock, pulling Jareth’s shirt around her as she triggered a scrying crystal and tried to relax.

Her morning had been derailed by a goblin dispute over the placement of adjacent market stalls. This was not something that she should have been involved with, but it had escalated beyond the hurling of insults and produce, and the unruly behaviour was interfering with others in the market.

Even the presence of the Goblin Queen did little to quell the argument and she’d ended up having them stand in opposite corners of the plaza like misbehaving toddlers while she attempted to untangle the problem. None of the witnesses seemed to know anything aside from it being a long running disagreement that had been getting more vociferous over time.

In the end Sarah had requested the presence of the wives who, to no one’s surprise, were as sick of the fighting as the general public and were eager to find a solution. Working with the ladies, they worked through their options. Fines would negatively impact their families and, while potentially halting the poor behaviour temporarily, may increase it in the long run. They were delighted with the prospect of bogging their husbands, provided they did not return home until the smell wore off.

As the ladies giggled in delight at the thought of their husbands being bogged, Sarah asked if they could run the stalls alone. The goblins' wives had both nodded enthusiastically and explained how they would combine both stalls into one and trade off running it with taking care of each other’s children. This gave Sarah a solution and she sentenced the offenders to a year of military service. It would give their families a break and hopefully instill some discipline into the offenders.

“It’s sunflower yellow,” Jareth’s voice sounded from the crystal. Sarah guessed he was arguing with Rook over colours, but could only hear Jareth’s half of the discussion. She did appreciate that they were probably going to both be quite silly for her benefit.

“What is caterpillar yellow? They are not yellow.” Sarah snorted, understanding the reference to the colour of construction vehicles. “Why didn’t you just say to add more red?”

Sarah sighed as she relaxed, surrounded by Jareth’s voice and scent, safe in the knowledge that some things were universal. Jareth didn’t bother remembering Above companies unless they’d been around more than a century. And way too many women were effectively married single mothers with a useless manchild for a husband.

---

labyfic — drabble #269: catch
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah looked out over the Goblin City. It was a disordered riot of streets and buildings of an architectural style that leaned heavily on vibes over plans. Homes were constructed out of whatever was available, added to on a whim in a manner that would send a building inspector screaming, if one was foolish enough to venture into the city. For all that they appeared to be a ramshackle affair, the buildings did stand up to the chaos of housing goblins.

The sun was just coming up, the city’s shadows were lightening and people were starting their morning routines.

It was not the waking city that Sarah was watching, it was the fountain that was situated in the middle of a plaza that served as a gathering place and a site for market days. As she watched, an enormous cloud of foam detached itself from the fountain and rolled across the plaza and then over the row of buildings like a huge, fluffy tumbleweed that left a diffused ghost of shadow skating below.

“I take it this wasn’t an accident?” Sarah had seen the prank Above when detergent had been tossed into a fountain and the subsequent notices about the clean up. She turned her head to look at Jareth, smiling at the rising sun that was making his hair glow.

Jareth shook his head slightly. “It was one of the junk ladies.”

“I didn’t think they came into the city,” Sarah frowned, trying to recall if she’d seen them venture beyond their usual domain.

“They rarely visit, but they do foam the fountain every few years.”

Another large cloud of foam detached from the fountain, the light breeze propelling it out into the city. Goblins were starting to gather to watch the display and a few early rising children were tearing through the smaller clouds with glee.

“Why would they do that?”

“A disagreement with a goblin? A commentary on goblin hygiene in general? A package of detergent appeared in their junk yard and they thought to share it with their neighbours?” Jareth spread his hands in puzzlement. “The goblins seem none the wiser about the motive, but they do enjoy the spectacle.”

There was a rising hubbub of voices as more goblins joined the spectators. Some of them were scooping chunks of foam out of the fountain to throw at others or wear as hats. The prank was starting to take on a festive mood.

“What about cleanup?” Sarah asked, although she noted that some goblins were starting to eat the foam, which would solve part of the problem.

“Once the foaming ceases a maintenance crew will scrub the fountain, but,” Jareth waved a hand towards the goblins below. “The foam will be gone not long after that activity commences.”

It seemed a neater solution than she had seen in the past and Sarah wondered if it would be viable to use goblins to clean up foam pranks Above or if that was just inviting even more trouble.

---

labyfic — drabble #267: ghost
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah stood at the back of the room with a clear view of the stage and looked over the crowd. While she knew some of them had Underground connections, she wondered about the rest who had just shown up to an unannounced event.

She had seen the performance space when it was just a dark room lined with event posters, a small raised stage and suspect carpet. It looked more the part now that the house lights had been turned down and the stage was lit.

Jareth liked to test music he’d been working on with a live audience who were neither involved in its creation, deferential to his status nor as undiscerning as goblins. He didn’t have any problem wrangling a slot at a live music venue, but perhaps the location in a pub basement and the out of slate timing made things easier. Even so, the event still pulled a full house of just over a hundred people who were loudly enjoying Jareth’s set.

Sarah loved watching him perform, this time he was solo with an acoustic guitar for accompaniment. He seemed a lot freer than when he was acting as Goblin King. She loved the knack he had of seeming to be singing to each individual, but she knew him well enough to note that his performance persona was just another mask.

Several guardians were in attendance in addition to the security provided by the venue. Sarah caught Bishop’s eye and nodded as he walked the perimeter of the crowd. She’d seen him quietly eject a couple of people earlier who’d outstayed their welcome.

She was happily dancing with the crowd when she felt the unwelcome presence of a stranger sidling beside her, Sarah could see him lean in as if he was trying to speak to her. While he couldn’t be heard over Jareth and the crowd, she aimed a subtle audio isolation spell towards him before shutting it down with a shudder. Aside from a distinct lack of hygiene and a disrespect for personal space, he was trying to hit on her by mansplaining her husband’s music.

Shaking her head and stepping away from the man didn’t deter him and his lack of situational awareness meant that he was unaware that he had caught the attention of larger predators. It was best for the man’s longevity that Bishop intervened by grabbing his hips and grinding into his rear. Although Sarah suspected that the lesson of unwanted sexual contact was lost on the man, he did back away. With a broad grin, Bishop pulled the man aside and dragged him up the stairs.

Sarah hadn’t seen Rook since the house lights had dropped, but she suspected she was handing off idiots with Bishop. She did idly wonder if they were passed on to the bouncers or if they were further educated on the errors of their ways. She had little sympathy for them when they felt the urge to prey on people enjoying a night out.

---

labyfic — drabble #265: bait
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah wasn’t certain who had first broached the idea of a field trip Above, but it had gained enough traction that the organisation became an adventure of its own. Everyone had been poring over the event maps and had devised their own battle plans of how best to maximise their visit to see as much as possible.

The event was an arts and crafts exposition that was large enough to not only cover an enormous amount of floor space, but also included a hugely diverse array of exhibitors. In the days leading up the trip, those interested in attending were paired with a guardian who shared an interest. It would eliminate the strain of Jareth wrangling and transporting everyone, and it would allow people to follow their own paths and return at their leisure.

Of course, no plan survives contact with the enemy. Sarah had hoped to spend some time with Jareth, but the ceramics section was opposite the direction he was heading, so she spent the day geeking out with Bishop. She loved seeing the different ways people used glazes and it was providing great inspiration for her own projects.

As they wandered the aisles of the huge event space they would occasionally cross paths with others in their party. The foxes may have had differing interests, but it seemed they had a shared love of fox themed miscellanea. Sarah smiled as she passed a tiny woman wearing an orange, faux fur combination hat and scarf with fox ears, her companion, a heavily glamoured wood elf, was chattering in excitement and brandishing bulging tote bags filled to overflowing with brightly coloured, glittery novelty yarns.

Sarah was a little envious that her own haul needed to be limited to samples and brochures. As much as she’d love to purchase all of the glazes, she did not want to lug their weight around for the rest of the day. She figured that if she still liked the sample when she got home, she could order the glaze directly.

While she only caught a glimpse of Jareth, she recognised his work by the gushing of several of the smaller artisan stall holders. It seemed that an attractive man dressed in a lavish red and gold frock coat, had purchased a significant amount of their goods with a caveat that they were to exchange these goods throughout the day for a token. When the children appeared with their prize tokens, their parents always ended up purchasing more items.

A small girl happily showed off the handmade unicorn bracelet she had won, while her sister bought a pair of dragon earrings.

Sarah loved seeing how Jareth’s random acts of kindness spread such joy. She knew that it would be a financial risk for a small artist to break even at a large event and was certain that Jareth’s actions had ensured they made a tidy profit for the day.

There was a sweetness to his decision to support other artists that warmed her heart.

---

labyfic — drabble #263: treasure
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah enjoyed the simple pleasure of the mug warming her hands as she sipped her hot chocolate. The fire crackled in the room behind her and, while she was toasty and warm, she snuggled happily into the comfort of the thick faux fur throw that was wrapped around her shoulders.

She looked through the vast picture windows at the expanse of the mountain lit to allow for night skiing. There were quite a few people taking advantage and as some of them were guardians, Sarah guessed that others were also longer stay guests as well as staff and locals. Throughout the day the slopes were crowded with tourists. In contrast, the evening runs, while limited the a single slope, were leisurely, provided you didn’t mind sharing the slopes with those guardians who preferred to negotiate the runs in wolf form.

Tucking her legs into her cocoon of blanket, Sarah smiled as she watched a wolf bound down the slope in the wake of another skier who snaked their way down the lit snow.

“They seem to be having fun.” Jareth joined her at the window as he towel dried his hair.

Sarah openly ogled a Goblin King who was half clad in a black silk that made his pale skin glow in the flickering light of the fireplace.

“It was a great idea to take a break instead of attending hat lady’s festivities.” The novelty of wondering about the structural integrity of her headwear did not negate the dullness of conversation.

Jareth had arranged for a chalet, which would have been overkill for two people, but they’d brought several of the guardians along with them. Sarah had been accompanying whichever guardian was on the morning’s grocery duty and had been amused to overhear people gossiping about who was occupying their chalet. So far she’d heard that it was a celebrity recovering from plastic surgery, a disgraced minor royal or an organised crime lord laying low to await a court date. It amused Jareth when she recounted the latest theories.

“The goblins seem to be enjoying the break too.” Sarah looked towards where Jareth indicated and could see the children’s slope had been taken over by small creatures who were eating the snow and burying each other in it. One had been packed into a snowball that was pushed from the top of the hill to collect or flatten several goblins on the way down. They crashed into a sled at the bottom and fought over who would be the next snowball core.

“It’s good that no one can see them. The men who groom the slopes have been blaming drunken tourists.”

“Close enough,” Jareth chuckled. He hung his towel around his neck and looked down at Sarah. “Are you planning to watch them all night?”

“I am cosy out here.”

“But then I will be all alone in that great big bed,” he pouted dramatically.

“We can’t have that.” Sarah held out a hand. “Take me to bed, your majesty.”

---

labyfic — drabble #261: husky
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah was fascinated by the mix of housing in the area. Half of the properties had been gentrified with the work swinging between pristine restorations and modern confections that looked as if they’d been designed by architects who didn’t seem to understand how houses worked. The properties that hadn’t yet fallen into the hands of developers were cheerfully decorated share housing, whose mostly student occupants were still sleeping off the previous night’s hangover. She just hoped that no one needed to use the upper balconies, as they all looked like death traps that were nominally attached to the buildings by spit and string.

“That’s an unusual design choice.” Sarah indicated the corner pub that featured exterior tiled walls.

“Made it easy to clean up the vomit.” Jareth grinned and Sarah wasn’t sure if he was joking. “When work finished at five and the bars closed at six.”

“Men are disgusting.” Sarah shuddered at the thought of working men desperately trying to get all of their drinking done in that hour before heading home to their unfortunate families and really hoped a lot were wished away to the bog.

Jareth’s excitement at the array of stalls set up in the school grounds provided a timely distraction. He loved a farmers market and she wasn’t entirely sure what to expect from one located in the inner city, but it seemed to follow the usual mix of businesses.

Sarah was happy to wander amongst the stalls and take in the sights and smells while Jareth bounced around like a toddler on a sugar high.

The Bavarian bratwurst stall smelled devine, and she discovered that momo were delicious Nepalese dumplings but the sugarcane juice was too sweet for her tastes. A group of Turkish ladies were making gozleme with rapid military precision and a Greek man with a souvlaki stall was proclaiming that the lamb was especially good today.

The mystery of what exactly vegan jerky was made from would have to wait for another day when she saw a stall closing early. It had little pots of different spreads that you could taste and she was planning to try them all in her next circuit.

A pleased Jareth appeared at her side. “Their jams and marmalades are incredible and their honeys are spectacular.”

“I missed out on taste testing them,” Sarah sighed, looking wistfully at the cheerful couple who were packing up their wares.

Jareth slung an arm around her shoulders and leaned in to whisper in her ear. “You can try them when we get home. I purchased all the stock they brought for the day. They seemed quite delighted about the arrangement.”

“Would that be the same reason the cake stall is closing early?”

“You’ve caught me, you clever thing.”

“Is there any chance of you sharing your bounty from that haul?” Sarah asked slyly.

“I may require some convincing.” Jareth’s purr dropped into a register that curled Sarah’s toes.

“I look forward to the challenge.”

“As do I, my love.”

---

labyfic — drabble #259: tasty
Part of the Balance!verse

It had taken Sarah a little while to recognise the patterns of wishes. She had initially assumed all wishes would be similar to her own and reacted accordingly whenever she felt the pull of the Labyrinth. She was quick to learn that this was often akin to walking into a fast food restaurant in a formal ball gown.

Jareth had been incredibly patient as he coached her through the differing calls. As a monarch, she felt them all, and had been surprised that not every wish required their presence.

When a child was wished away in a parent’s last hope to cure them, not only were the Goblin King or Queen present, but the appropriate Underground personnel were alerted. The goblin retrieval team took the ailing child directly to the prepared infirmary without remaining Above to cause mischief.

Other calls invoked just the goblins and their talents for chaos. Sarah would still feel them, but they lacked the urgency of child related calls. She would occasionally wonder if she should be more concerned, but eventually decided that if someone was silly enough to wish for the goblins to deal with an office printer, then they could deal with the inevitable relocation of toner from the inside of the machine to the outside.

There were regular calls from people afflicted by dementia who kept wishing to see a pet named Goblin. The goblins who attended didn’t seem to mind the pet food offering or grooming session that came with the job and were always delighted at returning Underground to show off their ribbon bedecked hair and freshly polished armour.

Sarah had felt a wish earlier in the day and parsed it as a request for the Goblin King. These were usually quick jaunts Above and she thought nothing of it until she missed Jareth at dinner. Not feeling anything amiss she retired to their rooms before summoning a crystal to investigate the delay.

Jareth was stretched out in the sleeping pod of a commercial aircraft. A small girl was curled into his chest, her hand fisted in the fur of the wolf that lay on his other side. A flight attendant opened the pod door and quietly placed refreshments on the tray table, smiling at Jareth as if he was the most doting father in the world. Sarah had to wonder what the Labyrinth was showing the attendant to explain why a child travelling alone was now accompanied by a Goblin King and a wolf, who were not on the passenger manifest.

Jareth may have been able to turn into an owl, but he was less than thrilled at being trapped in an aircraft. The Labyrinth had sent along Rook as an emotional support wolf to assist in the wish of a terrified child who had encountered turbulence while flying alone. The wish hadn’t been fulfilled until the plane had reached its destination and the child, now clutching a plush owl and wolf, disembarked into the arms of a waiting parent.

---

labyfic — drabble #257: pattern
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah was curled up in an armchair, quietly decompressing from a day of meetings. Her meandering thoughts were interrupted by Jareth entering the room. He was a vision dressed all in white and both her eyes and her thoughts went south as she wondered about the structural integrity of the very tight trousers he had seemingly had painted on.

Jareth grinned in delight at her perusal and took an exceedingly long time to carefully place each cushion on the floor, making sure to bend over each time to shamelessly flaunt his assets, before he draped himself across the pile.

“See something you like?”

Sarah tilted her head in open appraisal. “The work of an exceedingly talented tailor.”

“You wound me!” Jareth dramatically clutched his chest.

“If anything rent the fabric of those pants they’d explode off you like a stripper’s prop.” Sarah laughed at her husband’s theatrics and raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know that they’d survive your getting excited.”

“Is that a challenge?” Jareth’s eyes glittered in amusement.

“Perhaps. But first tell me how your project is fairing.”

They’d had a handful of adults from a small town who were wished away by unrelated children to deal with and Jareth had taken an interest in finding a solution. It seemed that two groups had ensconced themselves on the periphery of the town and were making life difficult for the community. Their members managed to tick multiple boxes for antisocial behaviour and, for all of their proclaimed desire to avoid others, they went out of their way to alienate their neighbours.

“They all have a fetish for weaponry, yet no comprehension of their proper use and storage.” Jareth shook his head in disgust. “They wave them around like toys and carry them like a child’s security blanket. Their encampments are riddled with holes from accidental discharges.”

“Are the goblins safe?” Sarah knew they’d been involved on the ground, but not the potential danger of the situation.

“They’ve been spell shielded. We’re dealing with highly paranoid people who are phobic of everything not like themselves and they walk around armed to the teeth. I wove a rebound into the spellwork.” Jareth’s grin was malevolent. “That’s taken care of several of the offenders.”

Sarah appreciated the elegance of the solution. Regardless of whether someone shot or swung a gardening tool at a goblin, the impact would instead injure the attacker. “What of the rest?”

“All it took was a little goblin shenanigans in moving things around and a trail of glitter.” Jareth chuckled darkly. “The two groups launched an armed assault against each other and the Above authorities finally took an interest in their behaviour.”

Sarah shuddered. She would have preferred a less lethal ending, but they had allowed a known child molester to prey on the local community and threatened them in a myriad of ways on a daily basis. “I don’t expect the township will mourn their demise.”

“Indeed.” Jareth stretched provocatively. “Now tell me more about these stripper trousers.”

---

labyfic — drabble #255: sparkle
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah was sitting on a stool, sipping from a mug of coffee as she watched Irene bustle about the kitchen. “Are you sure I can’t help?”

“You can give me an opinion on the walnut and cinnamon batch,” Irene waved Sarah’s suggestion aside and returned to layering crushed pistachios in buttered filo pastry.

Sarah made an almost indecent sound as she popped a piece of baklava into her mouth. “It’s so good. I can’t believe I sampled it before Jareth did.”

“You didn’t,” Irene laughed. “I swear, that husband of yours has a radar for when I’m baking. He popped in and waxed lyrical about my culinary skills just as the first batch was being sliced.”

“Of course he did,” Sarah rolled her eyes. “Have you taken up golf?”

“No, dear,” Irene looked over her shoulder. “Oh, the clubs in the umbrella holder. I asked the goblins to leave them there.”

“The goblins play golf?” Sarah lived with goblins and couldn’t see them having much interest in following the rules of any game when they erred towards chaos.

“There’s a group of them who’ve taken to watching golf with your father and he’s named them after the golf clubs they started carrying.” Irene shook her head in fond exasperation. “I suspect they use the clubs as weapons, but I’d prefer not to have that confirmed.” Irene shuddered before flashing Sarah a vicious grin. “Unless they were dealing with that awful man who orphaned those poor little girls you were telling me about.”

Sarah couldn’t disagree with the sentiment, but the man was too far removed from the wish for her to be able to act directly against him. While club wielding goblins would have undoubtedly adjusted his attitude, Jareth had worked within the limits of the compact to exact justice.

“As expected, his law enforcement contacts were more than happy to accept his false claim of victimhood in defending himself from a crazy ex and her sister.” Sarah snorted in disgust and recognised the rage in Irene’s eyes. “Before you castrate the man with a rusty spoon, he’s being dealt with.”

The man who’d murdered two women may have been able to use the deep seated misogyny of a broken justice system in his favour. However, when officers searched the homes of both victims and found evidence of the man having rampaged through in an orgy of destruction, his tale of innocence started to unravel.

The existence of the girls was usually wiped from Above, but there were exceptions. With ransacked homes and two missing children, the justice system swiftly swung in the other direction and used the women’s murders as a lever to force the man to reveal the whereabouts of the girls.

“He’s been charged with four counts of murder and is in prison on remand as a suspected child killer who’s refused to reveal the location of the bodies.”

“Such a shame,” Irene chuckled darkly. “I imagine the prisoner grapevine won’t be favourable.”

“I suspect you’re right.”

---

labyfic — drabble #253: chop
Part of the Balance!verse

Sarah parried Bishop’s attack and stepped back, holding up a hand. “I think I’m done for the day.” She felt like she was drowning in sweat and was concerned it would impact her grip on her weapon. “My reactions are slowing and that last round felt like a fluke.”

“Your muscle memory saved you. That’s what we’ve been working towards.” Bishop took her practice blade, returning it to a rack. When he turned back, he found that Sarah was sitting on the floor of the training room, watching as a pair of huge guardians used a wheeled scaffold to attach equipment to mounts in the ceiling.

Of the things she could identify, there were monkey bars, trapeze swings, hanging rings and a cargo net. She turned to Bishop as he sat beside her to watch the setup. “What are they doing? There’s not enough clearance for the boys to use anything dangling.” With a measuring glance at the installation in progress, she thought they may clear the floor, but it would be close.

Chuckling as he agreed with the comment, Bishop shook his head. “Once they set up around the perimeter of the room, they’ll bring in the mats, which will close the gap a little more.” Sarah nudged him with her shoulder. “Okay,” he laughed. “The foxes like to run aerial exercises every so often.”

Sarah turned at the sound of excited chatter and saw a group of small, slender women of various Above ethnicity that ranged from Japan through most of Asia, across India and down to Northern Africa. Ada and George, both in human form, fitted right in, although they were now taller than most of the foxes.

“How are they getting up there?” Sarah wasn’t sure if the equipment was out of their reach.

“Sometimes they have a rope climb to start.” Bishop pointed to the cargo net that hung a little lower. “Or they might use that as a starting point, but they’re incredibly agile and can easily make the leap to grab those rings.”

The moment the rolling scaffold cleared the course, the group was off, loudly calling to each other as they encountered each obstacle. As Bishop had noted, they started with a jump for the nearest ring and worked their way around the course. On completing a circuit, they changed things up. One of the foxes hung upside down from one of the trapeze bars and used it to swing the others across multiple pieces of equipment. Some scrambled across the cargo net and others crossed underneath the obstacle.

Ada and George were easily keeping up with the group, finding their own ways of changing the main route through the course. Sarah was impressed as they ran a circuit in parallel that was smooth enough to appear choreographed.

“I’ve seen them working together, but that was spectacular. If they’re this good now, they’re going to make a formidable team. I’d still prefer they had a childhood rather than being guardians in training.”

---

labyfic — drabble #251: rowdy
Part of the Balance!verse