Please stop submitting gen stories labelled as slash.
We've put our definition on the front page of the archive and on the page where you upload new stuff: "If your story has Daniel and another character thinking about, talking about or actually getting together, dating, or having sex, then it's either het or slash (depending on the sex of the other person). If your story does not have any of those things, it's gen."
If I understand this correctly, you're upset that the queues do not move quickly enough and you are also upset that they move so quickly you're knocked off the "just updated" list before everyone has a chance to appreciate your brilliance.
You are also upset that we, the administrators, are so anal retentive on your story and that we "nitpick" tiny details. Yet you're also upset that there are other stories that have had mistakes in them that we've allowed to slide. You state that we're "frustrated schoolteachers who think everyone needs to have an English degree to write a story," yet on the other hand you accuse us of illiteracy.
You're also very upset that "no one is reviewing these days," but when I pull up your author's bio page, I see that you have left six reviews in the last two years.
Might I'd make the gentle suggestion that you get back on your psychotropic drugs and try to keep one foot in reality at all times. It would be nice if you kept BOTH feet in the SAME reality, but I don't expect miracles. You remind me of the old joke about the woman who gave her husband two ties for Christmas. He comes downstairs wearing one of them. She looked at him and screeched, "What the hell is wrong with the other tie?"
If your medication does not help you, might I suggest putting your head further up your rectal cavity, far enough to keep you away from a keyboard.
Authors bitch about how long it takes to validate stories, but in the submission rules it clearly says the admins have 7 days to work a story from the date of submission. And with a feature we added to eFiction, we can tell what day it was submitted, we even have the queue in order of how they are submitted.
But people are complaining that it takes 4-5 days to do a story on our busiest archive. Average number in queue is above 30 (on low days). We have seen it as high as 70, I think I counted 80 one day even.
Instead of really griping I guess, I need to know why people bitch about something that is in the rules! Wait, I forgot, they can't read. But they sure in the hell think they can write. And they usually can't considering how often we reject stories.
*am so proud* I finally get to post. I never to get bitch much unless the problem actually reaches me, and the admins are so good at handling it now, it rarely is ever brought to my attention. (Feels so useless now.) hehe
*Takes a cleansing breath* I've been holding this in, but the posts here speak to me...
Dear Monkey with a Keyboard and Internet Access,
Thank for taking the time to write me about that piece of drek you strangely insist is some sort of epic piece in the HP fandom. Funny thing about that is I always thought fan fiction meant the characters acted like the ones from the fandom the story is in, not the ones you see in your wet dreams every night.
I appreciate you pointing out to me that my imagination is severely limited, and that my brain will implode if I see 'Character A' act anything like a "real person". In case you have lost your dictionary--well, your spelling indicates you don't own one, anyway--fictional characters are not real people. Granted, this is a stroke of luck for you, as if they were, they would have hunted you down and smashed your keyboard long ago. Quite frankly, if this is your idea of "real people", I'd hate to see where you live, although at the moment my guess is solely within the confines of your over inflated ego.
I'm thrilled that you have found multiple sites that love your story, which obviously proves there is something wrong with me...well, it would if I suffered cranial trauma and forgot this archive has standards and is not overrun with Actor A's fangirls, who are busy trying to read porn without being caught by their parents.
And no, I don't care how angry or disappointed you are. I may have, but my pity went out the window with the barely veiled insults that you thought I was too dim to catch.
Out of a handful of chapters, we have outright rejected two for being over our error limit. Of course, you did make it easy on me for that second chapter by immediately uploading it with no corrections so I didn't have to think or read the crap one more time and for that, I am grateful. The rest were validated on the condition you fix the errors. You have done so with poor grace, often lambasting the administrators for daring to point out that you don't know canon worth shit and have one of the most creatively phonetic spellings ever seen have made mistakes.
But in your latest correspondence, you state: "I will never post another story on your site!" Out of everything you've written that I've had to read multiple times, that was the best sentence you've managed. It actually made me happy! Now, will you give me your promise on that? Please? Pretty please? The only thing that will make me happier is if your keyboard exploded before you could type another chapter.
aggravated
hopeful