Randominity

I want to write an actual RECAP recap of this episode, because really, it's so good that it's full of yayfulness and I just can't restrict myself to a few squeeing bursts of comment. So here's the play-by-play (we'll see how long it takes before I lose interest):



Previously on SGA: Rodney was trapped underwater in a jumper, and made a seamonster friend who helped Sheppard and Zelenka find him. I wonder if any of that will be important?

Currently on SGA: Sheppard is flying Zelenka and Ronon back from some camping trip in which Zelenka did technobabble and Ronon sulked. Zelenka's pretty excited about all the technobabbly things he did. Ronon is pissy. Sheppard does the "I have no idea what you're talking about, but whatever" smile and nod. Ronon is pissy some more. I think he has cramps, because I've been reading too many genderfuckery fics. Zeleka says, "he was like this all night, you know. Very... agitated. I was scared!" Which for some reason makes me want to read Zelenka/Ronon crazy camping trip sex fic, where Ronon's all growly and predatory because of some alien sex pollen, and now he's pissy because he's actually embarrassed because he came too quickly or something, and Zelenka's actually happy because he made Ronon black out in ecstasy, and also, you know, TOTALLY GOT LAID.

I know. I KNOW!

The fun is short-lived, though, because the 'jumper's navigational systems seem to be malfunctioning, and they can't find Atlantis for a moment. Oh! There it is. That was weird. Zelenka is cute and says something in Czech. John suggests that Ronon "meditate" with Teyla. Ronon stomps off and goes to get a tampon.

Later: Teyla meditates and instructs Ronon. Ronon snores. It is HILARITY. Teyla makes several eyebrows of doom.

Random hallway: Teyla walks around and sees an Ancient woman speaking in high-speed staticy gibberish. She's all, "pardon me?" and the Ancient woman walks right through her. DUN-DUN-DUN!!!!

Credits!

Back to the show, Rodney's been stalking Elizabeth by e-mail. Weir wants to give two of the three ZPMs they acquired in 3x11 back to SGC, who need them badly, and Rodney would like to beg and/or offer blowjobs for the chance to keep all three. Elizabeth makes a compelling case by pointing out the exciting complications a lack of ZPMs would present for the show's story arc this season, and then she files a restraining order and sends Rodney away, all sad puppy-dog eyes and everything.

Gym: Teyla kicks Ronon's ass but good with Teh Sticks. Then they banter adorably and OMG I am SO SHIPPING THEM NOW. Suddenly Teyla sees more Ancienty high-speed babble. Ronon's all, huh? The Ancienty woman walks toward a door, which opens and reveals a badly-burned -- REAVER! OH NO IT'S A REAVER-- oh. A badly-burned man. Whatever, Reaver. So Teyla freaks out, and Ronon manhandles her until she gets a grip. SO SHIPPING THEM.

Atlantis balcony: Rodney looks out over the ocean with a pair of binoculars. Sheppard sneaks up behind him and when Rodney finally notices, he surprisingly doesn't pee himself, but gets teased for not paying attention anyway. Awww. I just want to smush them together. Rodney's been watching the little whale that helped locate him back in Grace Under Pressure, and calls him "his friend." AWWW! Also, he gets this happy look on his face, which I just had to screencap because I don't think Rodney's ever been this cute before, EVER.


N'awwww. DIMPLE YAY. :D :D :D :D

Infirmary: Teyla gets CAT-scanned. Or um, whatever. Apparently she's fine. Nothing weird going on in the noggin. Ronon asks if this isn't that weird Wraith hallucination thing for continuity's sake, but Carson says there would be some brain activity to accompany a hallucination, and Teyla's got no brain activity so that can't be it. Er, wait. Teyla speculates that she's been seeing ghosts, like of the Ancestors who were killed during the Replicator attack. Ronon thinks Teyla's too New-Agey for words. I think they just broke up, y'all.

Hallway: Rodney's excited to see John (and not Elizabeth), and shows them the information he's found on the Ancient database about the whale...like...thingy. He has determined it's a male whale, and has named it Sam. After Sam Carter. He FAILS. Sheppard is like, "you FAIL." Rodney's all, "Sam's a boy's name, too!" Heh. Weir just wants to know that Rodney's not doing this while on the job. You know, the way I would do it. Rodney assures her that he's only dabbling in his free time, and Elizabeth - I can't make this up - tells the "boys" to "dabble away." I swear, the slash writes itself.

Bedroom de Teyla: She hears things. Yawn, nothing new there. Then she wanders out into the hall and sees things. She has this adorable walk. It's what I call the "short person walk." Zelenka has it, too. It's what happens when you have teensy little legs and have spent your life trying to keep up with taller people. It makes me heart her fiercely. Anyway, Teyla sees the Ancienty woman and the Reaver and they call out to her for help. Oh noes!

Kate Heightmeyer's office: OMG Heightmeyer's a redhead all of a sudden! Teyla's concerned about the visions. Psychobabble ensues. I can't stop staring at Dr. Heightmeyer's red hair. Teyla thinks the Ancient ghosts are trying to communicate a message to her. Heightmeyer's all, "um, okay."

Hallway: Heightmeyer tells Weir she thinks Teyla might be feeling guilt or something for the Ancients' deaths, and says some other stuff that I wonder if she's allowed to say as part of the doctor-patient confidentiality whatsit? But what do I know. Weir talks about prescribing drugs *coughsanti-psychotics* and getting Teyla to get more sleep. Then she and Heightmeyer go their separate ways and Weir immediately sees the Reaver, all, "gasp!!!"

Hallway, later: Heightmeyer's like, "oh, great, BOTH of you are crazy now?" She suggests that Weir's visions might be due to the power of suggestion. Weir's all, "I know what I saw, bitch." Teyla's all, "yeah, this is how I feel EVERY DAMN DAY."

Science lab: Rodney and John make cute. Rodney's found another whale - a larger whale, the size of a Canadian football field (heh!) - and they speculate that it's Sam's mother. John's all, "I don't appreciate you calling the whale by the name of my competition." Then he offers to take Rodney on a date 'jumper ride to get a closer look at said whales. They are SO CUTE. I can't stand it.

'Jumper: John shoos Zelenka out of a 'jumper and asks him to track them while they're whale-hunting. He also makes a throw-away comment about Rodney taking Dramamine before the trip, which I like, although, does he take it every time he goes in the 'jumper, or just because they're going underwater? Because the inertial dampeners should render that stuff unnecessary, and if being underwater makes Rodney sick, he would've been a whole lot sicker in Grace Under Pressure, and whatever, I'll just stop now.

Infirmary: Carson gives Teyla and Elizabeth sleeping pills, and then promptly has a vision of the Reaver, on one of the hospital beds, being operated on by a team of scientists/doctors. Oh noes!

Underwater 'jumper: John and Rodney enjoy the sights and probably have sex.

Hallway: Ronon wanders around and sees some vision-y Ancients working at some control panel. Teyla comes up behind him and is all "I TOLD YOU SO."

Underwater 'jumper: John gets a headache. DANGER WILL ROBINSON, DANGER! Then the whales get close. REAL close. Eyeball close. Then Rodney gets a headache. John's all, "I have a bad feeling about this," and Zelenka's like, "um, so, now dozens of whales are heading your way?" Annnnnnd then Rodney's nose starts bleeding. Ugh. I always get squicked when that kind of shit happens. The headache/nosebleed combination makes me feel like the person's brains are coming out of their noses. Also, I've seen Firefly. I know what nosebleeds mean! *squirm*

Briefing room: Carson, Teyla, and Elizabeth are talking about their visions, when Zelenka lets them know they may have a teensy problem.

Underwater 'jumper: John and Rodney attempt to flee, and then Rodney passes out, his ears bleeding (god dammit! *squirm*). I maybe squeak a little. John eloquently says, "CRAP." Everyone stands around in the control room, looking concerned.

Infirmary: John and Rodney's eardrums have been perforated. Holy crap, I thought there was no coming back from that. Guess I was wrong. Apparently the whales were emitting a blah blah field of blah blah. Carson says that with some time and rest John and Rodney will be fine, but first, there's some deaf/shouting humor. I shouldn't find it as funny as I do, but John is like, "[beat] WHAT?" and I can't help but giggle hysterically.

Meanwhile: Teyla has theories! Maybe the whales have something to do with the Ancienty visions! Also, Elizabeth has another vision in the hallway. The Marines steer clear of her, hahaha.

Infirmary: John insults Canadian football, Celine Dion, Rodney's intelligence, AND calls him Meredith, just to test Rodney's hearing. Rodney FAILS. Carson tells Elizabeth that more and more Lanteans have been coming in with headaches and/or nosebleeds. He gives Weir some painkillers for her headache, and admits to having a headache of his own. Then there is more shouting humor with Sheppard and McKay, and I swear, I had to watch the scene twice because I was laughing so hard. Rodney's shouting so hard his face is red. I'm. Just. Ahahahaha.

Hallway: Teyla has more visions! Only this time her nose bleeds and she passes out! EW and also EW. Ronon arrives and takes her to the infirmary. They are SO HOOKING UP.

More hallway: Rodney and John go scouting for information and are cute!

Daedalus: Caldwell's all, "let's blow up the whales before they make everyone's heads explode!" which predictably goes over very not well at all with Weir, who is in the control room. Rodney and John show up and are on to something! They've figured out that maybe the whales have something to do with the visions! Which, um, is what Teyla was saying. Only with more science this time.

Infirmary: Teyla! Visions! Carson! Visions! Teyla is looking very grey and ill, awww. She suddenly realizes that the Reaver she's been seeing is actually an Ancient pilot. Carson's nose starts to bleed, oh, god dammit.

Ancienty lab: Elizabeth wants to see what Sheppard and McKay are up to...

Elizabeth: How's he [Rodney] doing?
John: I don't know, he's taking a while. A lot longer than he usually takes.
Rodney: Hey! He can hear you, you know.
John (sweetly): Yeah. We know.

Bwah!

Blah blah technobabble. The whales have been transmitting a traumatic event, blah blah, and Rodney blah blah technobabbles, and deciphers it, and Elizabeth translates. Awww. I'm kind of OT3-ing them now. In my head, after the translation, they all grinned at each other for a second (which they did do), and then had wild crazy sex.

Control room: Apparently the sun blows up or something, every 15,000 years. (I know, not really, but whatever. I'm not watching this show for the plot!) The Ancienty pilot escaped with serious burns just in time to warn everyone, fifteen thousand years ago. And it's happening again! Right now! DUN-DUN-DUN!!!

Infirmary: Teyla is very very very very ill. Ronon is very very very very worried. He touches her chin very sweetly, all, "look at me," and AWWWW. PLEASE HOOK UP NOW.

Control room: panic and technobabble! Zelenka and McKay get their geek on and are hot, except for the panic and whatnot. Time for we're-all-gonna-die sex! Anyone? Show of hands? Awww, Zelenka has a very cute story about pigeons. Why isn't he on this show more? David Nykl, we need you! Rodney makes a very good case for the three ZPMs, but they have no time to get them, ahahaha, hindsight is 20/20. Rodney worst-case-scenarios for a while, and finally, Elizabeth can't stand it anymore, and passes out. Her ears are bleeding, naturally :/. John carries her to the infirmary and I bet I'll see eleventy billion icons of that over the next few days, hehehe.

Infirmary: John witnesses the first fatality to result from the whale thing, and we know how John gets when his men die, y'all. He comes up with a Plan, face all resolute and lip-bitey.

Ancienty lab: Rodney draws a stick-figure diagram of all the ways in which John's plan is a VERY BAD PLAN. The plan being to, um, max out the Daedalus's shields and fly directly into the sun explodey thingy, and thus dissipate the um, rays from the explodey... thingy. Whatever. John addresses all his points very competently and actually does stuff while Rodney rants. Not that I don't like hearing Rodney rant or anything. They beam aboard the Daedalus and the sun explodes (or whatever). Everything gets very hot. The Daedalus's hull starts to breach in several places. Everyone starts to sweat (not that that isn't hot or anything).

Then it's over! And Rodney totally gives John a blowjob for his brilliant plan. Well, he looks like he wants to.

Atlantis control room: The whales go away. Elizabeth participates in some deaf/shouting humor, and I laugh and laugh.

Gym: Teyla meditates. Ronon comes up and stares adoringly at her. He's all, "so..... wanna make out meditate?" and Teyla agrees to do so only if Ronon doesn't fall asleep all cute and stuff. Ronon's like, "oh, we'll sleep AFTER. ;-)"

Balcony: Rodney says goodbye to his little friend, and John even calls said whale friend Sam. N'awww! John leaves Rodney to his moment, and Rodney is cute some more. Seriously, what is that? Is his hair cuter? Is he healthier? Chubbier? Thinner? He's just so cutely happy. Yay.

THE END!