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HELL EXPLAINED

BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer turned in by a student.


The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :


Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely.. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.


This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting 'Oh my God.'

Kettles are black but so are certain army men.

Slander and libel do not require payment. Only publication. Learn 2 read.

Also, stop pulling the army card. No one cares. You need to learn how to move on with life.

If you are so involved with some girl you've known all your life why are you still posting and reading her journal?

And don't say her friends are telling you. We aren't. Her friends are loyal unlike some of yours who aren't even real.

Yeah. I went there. My proof? Well first off if you had a real girl she would have dumped you for obsessing about "the ex" by now. Also... no girl that's had to deal with your constant whining would be wiling to date you, unless the sex was really really good. And...

Enough said.

So, its recently come to my attention that someone I had previously thought was a pretty decent human being is actually an incredibly immature asshat. Yes, an asshat.

Any previous positive comments I ever made about said Asshat need to be revised, edited, or altogether deleted from all records.

One last note: My blog, my thoughts. Got a problem with that, then go fuck yourself.

Feels good when its about you doesn't it?

Well I did it. I bought a new car.

I've been toying with the idea for a while now. I love my Akai but she was starting to have slight maintenance issues, holes in mufflers and constant brake problems etc. So for the past few months I've been reading reviews online, watching dealership websites, test driving... you know the fun part.

Well over Memorial weekend I went to Hyundai and test drove one of their accents. I thought I was on a pretty limited budget and couldn't get much beyond a bare bones car. No power, no options, just a car. So that's what I looked at. I came very very close to purchasing a blue Accent hatchback. Two door, no options. It was automatic and had a radio, beyond that it was stripped. This car would have cost me 200/month with nothing down.

My parents came down Sunday and my dad looked at the car and said he would feel better if I was driving something that had actually been tested for saftey. He also reminded me that I had just inherited quite a bit of money from my Grandmother. This opened up a lot of options to me that I hadn't even previously considered.

So Tuesday I cancelled the deal on the Accent and started looking at Elantras. There were two that I was interested in. One was a blue SE which had everything you can want in a 20k car including a sunroof, power everything (including seats!), heated seats, leather steering wheel, in steering wheel cruise control and audio controls etc. Fully loaded. The other was a blue GLS Elantra which was pretty much the same car as Akai only 10 years newer. The SE would have been 231/month and the GLS would be 213/month.

Well I left the Hyundai dealership and headed over to the Kia dealership. I didn't know it but apparently Kia and Hyundai are sister companies and share about 75% of the parts. Looking at a Kia Spectra I noticed that it was essentially an Elantra. Same warranty, same dash, hell even the key fobs are the same. They didn't have any in blue but said they could order me one, which I was OK with. So I took one out for a test drive.

I LOVED it. It handled exactly how I wanted a car to handle and didn't feel huge or small. Best of all the car has everything I want and nothing I didn't need. It's an automatic, power locks and windows, manual seat adjustment, air conditioning, SUNROOF, and has an aux input for the radio.

The price? 18,697. Plus Kia was having a 3,000 off rebate so, 15,000 and I tossed 4,000 down. My monthly payment 207/month.

The dealership had some trouble processing the loan so I ended up test driving the vehicle for 48 hours prior to buying it. But yesterday at 7:30pm she become legally my car.

I'll upload some pictures later, but she's silver and awesome.

Any ideas on a name?

I has a new address!!!

Outside

As you can tell its not built yet...

But!
The Basement

The First Floor

The Second Floor

We decided to go ahead and have the basement professionally finished and had the basement full bath added. So, we have a three bedroom, 3.5 bath house.

Want to know how I know its been too long since I last posted? I just went to create a post and the following paragraph popped up as a saved draft:

I just took my last final. It was good. Tomorrow I'll be working my last shift at CaTS. At my request I'll be working my "part time" hours at Nextech which means I'll be working 2-6 Tuesday but I have the rest of the week off.

That's only.... 4 months old!

Anyway my life since then. I work. A lot. I mostly like my job. I get to sit around and talk to people all day. Some of them have cool personalities, some have cool accents, and some make me want to scream. But that's people for you.

I have my big screen TV, which I now use as a computer monitor. Which is AMAZING! I am toying with the idea of buying a new car. I can't afford much due to my stupid college loans but I'm thinking a nice Tahiti Green Cheverolet Aveo will do. Those things get amazing gas mileage and I'm not really driving much anymore anyway. But... I don't know if its going to happen any time soon BECAUSE!

Frank and I are seriously (and I do mean seriously.. as in 99.99% chance of doing it) looking to buy a house. Not just any house, a house we will have built, here for roughly 150,000. That isn't our house but its a previous model house for the development. Our house will be a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bath with plumbing for a third in the basement. The basement isn't going to be finished by the builders but Frank and I think we will gradually finish it over time and turn the basement into the rec room/den. Supposedly if we sign the agreement before April 1st they'll have it built just before our lease ends on our apartment.

I started my new job a few weeks ago.  Since I'm only putting in about 7 hours a week right now things are going slowly and I'm still in training.  However, they did put me on phones yesterday as a message machine since we were getting slammed.  However, I showed them and managed to close 3 tickets on my own.  Granted they were extremely easy but Greg was so sure I wouldn't be able to that he didn't bother to train me on how to close a ticket.

I was hired in at an amazing time.  The owner of the company wanted to improve the throughput of incidents (close them faster) so he instituted a contest.  IF we managed to meet a goal (only having 20 unclosed tickets from our starting point of nearly 80) by the end of the month we would all get a monetary bonus.  And not a small bonus either. 

Full time staff = 800
Part time = 400
Person with highest number of tickets closed = 1000 + other bonus
Person with second highest number of closed tickets = 750 + other bonus
Person with third highest number of tickets closed = 500 + other bonus

And.... we made it.  Who gets a 400 bonus? I do.

I've set a personal goal for myself though.  If I can manage an average of 25 tickets closed/day  once I start full time I'll use my third full time check to buy a HD tv.  The goal that the boss has set down for staff to meet is 30.. but until I'm actually fully trained on what I'm doing its not expected that I'll break 20.

Remember all votes count!

For those that aren't geeky enough to recognize them...

The left two pictures are of course of the two main presidential candidates.. the other pictures are of Saul Tigh from Battlestar Galactica and Apophis from StarGate Sg-1. Creepy isn't it?

 So, two months later I have more to report.

I have a job. It's amazing!  I'm working for Nextech which designs software for Plastic Surgeons. The software handles their scheduling, ERM, inventory, and marketing.   Surprisingly enough I'll be doing techsupport for the software.  I'm OK with that and like the low stress type of work it provides.  I'll be making 36K a year with the possibility of up to 6K in bonuses throughout the year. The owner of the company says that he has never given less than 2K to a tech support person before.  

Also, since I'm doing tech support for plastic surgeons I only work doctor's hours. Which means I get just about all holidays off.  Plus, in December/January there is a MANDATORY WEEKLONG "meeting" held at corporate headquarters... which happens to be located in Tampa Florida.   

 

It seems that Livejournal might start being useful again... so I'm going to start posting things that  I think people will actually read.

So, a lot has changed in the past few weeks.  I've moved.  I'm not in Kristi's house anymore which is probably better for all involved.  Something about 34 year old toothless Canadians just didn't sit well with me (or loud annoying landlords for that matter).  So, I moved out.

And the only place I had to go was with Frank.  He conveniently (not planned though) had a spare bedroom in his two bedroom apartment that has more floor space than the three bedroom Jamie, Nessa, and I shared a few years ago.  Surprisingly enough the parents didn't throw a fit.  My mom isn't happy about it but she's dealt with it "as long as your grandmother doesn't find out."  Frank's parents don't seem to care much one way or another.  Also, today is our one year.  :D

I'm getting close to graduation. Only one final quarter.  Can't wait to get out of here.. seems like I've been at WSU forever now.  Of course, it's been 5 years and a quarter.  Stupid guidance counselor and messing up.  I've got my resume posted in like 13 places online and I've been to a few job fairs.  Lots of people interested, just no one close enough.  I'm not moving to California... and people need to freaking realize that my "desired job location" is not just a joke.  Frank's Dad is pulling some strings and sending my resume to his contacts in NASIC, General Dynamics, and a few other companies.  His name is big enough on base and the surrounding companies I don't doubt his ability to get me at least an interview somewhere.  

After almost 2 months I've given up finding a home for Darwin.  Yesterday, I proclaimed he had found a home by purchasing the all important name tag.  This brings my total up to 4 cats. No more.  Now I just got to get him declawed before he destroyes Frank's furniture.  I also need to get 'em chipped before he succeeds in getting outside.  He bolts for the door everytime it's opened. Boggles my mind. Last time he was outside he almost starved to death.. and he just can't wait to get back out there.