meau

I want to-
Adventure
Travel
Hike
Taste new cultures and foods
Help people
Inspire other to be better

I want to live and to love again.

I will get there in time.

Ok things have been crazy but i'm noticing that lisa was right about alot of things. but anyhow. the past two days have been good. did rouning around in the morning. got new contacts ordered, glasses fixed, new shoes ((i'm bad)) but they are the kind i love and can't get anymore, walked the dog, mowed the lawn, did the eliptical ((SP)) for 30 min then went swiming doing laps and stuff... now i'm here. .... trying to figure out what to spend money on as far as food goes. trying to save money wisely and not spend it everywhere like i usually do. I wanna build a nest egg. I love horses and the connection i get with them so.. yeah saving money to get a mod home... pay off get land and then get horse... who know's. welll see how i feel next week. I packed up all my tack and ptu it down stairs i sorta cried when i did it too... because well i know it's good bye to rideing for now. but i'm determind now more then ever to get things rolling. i'm 25... come on. i wanna loose weight. i'm not fat but i'm not where i wanna be. and i've been putting it off forever. i just need to find a nwe easy way to work out. i used to just walk around the area but i can't here... too many questionable people. but anyhow. hug's for me. played my piano like forever today too... yay

things ahve been going decent at work. I've been inproving on my quality i believe and connecting more with my clients. I'm not making mad money but that's ok. The people i have not are seeing an improvement and are cool. LIsa is back as manager which i'm so glad about. she does a good job.

Finished harry potter 7 on thursday i think. i loved it then went back and started to review other years and was like wait that person is dead... grr... wanna start reading them again start to finish. Also wanna see the new movie at the IMAX.. but who know's it that's gonna happen.

Saw the new hair spray it was better then i thought but still strange. Rob went with me not really knowing what to expect. Lol poor guy.

catline is doing well and so is the baby feat-us. went out with here on wedn to chili's. Miss working with her.

THinking about selling my horse stuff because A i don't get to ride anyhore, and b becasue i don't have ahorse...

i miss riding so much though... i've felt so stressed and crap lately.

hope everyone else life is doing ok. mine has been better but i'm ok. i'm appreciating some of the things i forgot over the years. I made a gate thing around my mother garden today since it was so nice out and blew bubbles on the porch for the kitty's and watched them swirle away.

Also for the past few day's i've burried myself into harry potter, perhaps to not thing about the stuff going on now. part of me isn't realyl sure that's going on. i'm just sick of being sad and not knowing way. So i'm making myself smile atleast 5 times a day. it's workign really well. had a great day last sunday at work and actually appreciated my groom's. Went to lunch yesterday with catline. I miss her. She was glowing all well and her son is doing good too. looked at wal'mart at baby stuff. anyhow FInished harry potter... cried durring alot of it. I've been crying at alot of sad stuff.. don't get me wrong it's sad so hey it's ok.. but i was never like this before. i was touched and what not but not crying. ... anyhow

I have no idea what i'm doing and why things are being pressured on moving out now. I'm actually not looking forward to it since i have little plain. THings seem to be seasawing betwen rob and i. Yeah i said maybe he sould get a place with just dan but that was only because i thought we where over. yeah i thought that. after like 3 days of not talking anything close to civil and things just sucking... yeah. I still feel like everything i do annoys him. who know's maybe i'm beign too intence. I could be. I feel like i just need my own area to do my crap and not worry about leaving it out. No way unless i'm that tight that i'd considore my mothers. just 5 min with her while steve was here on the weekend was enough for me.

who know's. i love my cats, i love rob, i love what i've done with my hair, i love i've been able to work out and watch what i eat that i feel better. thankyou

Well things where petty good when i got back then they just fell back to being bad. Yay. I am just tired of fighting and the lies.

well i've been depressed and from what i can tell robert is too. Found out my friend is not who i thought she was, and not everyone is questioning everyone's motive.

ROb think's i'm cheating on him. people at work think he's cheating on me. people at work on cheating... jus tso much crap.

no i'm not cheating i was upset that i couldn't spend as much time with my friends as i'd like but now.. i'm noticing that's a goodthing.

leaving for md de on sat... yay... don't want to leav ethings like this... do't want ot leave

Loved it... LOVED it.. i wanna go again.

Things have been going good. Althought rod is sick.. yeah sucks but he stuck it out to go get my tattoo with me. I also got my cat on monday. So happy. I love it. And i love my tattoo.... now i want one of my cats. hehe. Anyhow looking forward to sat ((if i can go)) to the opstical course for Mounted patrol. Geeked about it more likely. I told rachel i'd give her money since i've been riding so much to help out... need to remember.

Hope that everyone out there is doing well....... i'm a crappy friend... i moved ot myspace. Look at my myspace sometime and see the new pics. :o)

so when i have a rough day and am all grumpy it's why can't you fucking just leave that at work blah blah and be happy when your home with me but when you have a bad fucking day it's Fuck you!!! OR your crying? Shut the fuck up.

Yeah i'm so irritated and done