D's got a big fat fucking bone to pick...

a rare public post in my journal to tell the world that katie is an amazing cook... last nite she made a no-chicken chicken pot pie and mashed potatoes.. .all from scratch... fucking amazing... if ever there was a keeper she is definitely it...

so im listening to the plain white ts again... i miss going to shows at the wheaton community center... those were definitely good times...

so i just wanted everyone to know that this is now going to be a friend;s only journal, mostly because i do not want anymore of the drama that has been going on inside this thing... i really dont need any of this crap to have any other negative reprocussions in my life... this is my place to vent and lately it has become an open forum to post fights... no more... its really not fair to anyone, myself included to let this stuff keep going on... goodnite...

in this house, this street, [west of] chicago... katie and i had the fight to end all fights last nite... things i now know... i'm a worthless lazy bum, i need to get a job (not so katie stops being angry at me but for me to be "happy"), and that i no longer have to wear my facade around sarah, next time i see her she's getting an earfull... and oh yeah my birthday is tomorrow, what a way to go into it huh?... happy fucking birthday dustin...

well this is what's new... i'm moving again soon, since there was a shooting on halloween and our neighbour is a psycho that freaks out about our bathroom fan... it would seem that all the program boarders do in fact hate me and it would also seem that they never needed me in the first place... vice city is hilarious and the matrix game (enter the matrix) is coming out in may, too bad its not today cause since i read the article in game informer its all that i really want to play... *drool* matrix mmm.... i had surger a couple of weeks ago and am just now starting to get around and able to do things... i dont see any of the friends that i want to see and the friends i do see i just want to ring their necks... nobody calls, nobody cares...

i'd say that they are on the lines of being reocurring dreams, but they are not the same dream everynite, they're all slighty different... so yeah, its going on over a week now that i've been having them and i feel more and more guilty about it everytime... argh... all i want is to be able to sleep without waking up and whispering to myself under my breath "fuck not again"... so in this last dream, she and i kissed in our hotel room in new york... this is especially not good in the sense that i've always had this way of dreaming things that happen... so the mission is to be preoccupied with all things anime this weekend (including the cowboy bebop movie, knockin' on heavan's door, that i bought our tickets for today ^_^)... ugh... need sleep that doesn't involve dreaming... ugh... so tired... physically and of dreaming... and this song makes me think about her way to much, but i really like and am glad i bought this cd...

and i care not to say why... well maybe i do... of course i do, why the hell else would i be sitting here and writing... but onto less pressing issues; the bad news: i only shot a half roll of film today... the good news: i shot a half roll of film today!!... oh and the other bad news... awkawardity... the more pressing issues... so yeah today was me, katie, and mandy shopping in the city... and yay!! mandy is going to go to new york with me for the big apple anime expo!! woohoo!! but that should be awkward, too, just like every other anime related event with the two of us... so anywayz, i really miss hanging out with her all the time, those were the glory days, forget bruce springsteing... back when i lived in her basement for a weekend (about 4 days) cause i got kicked out of my house and both of us liked each other but neither said a word... we found out the truth months later... many months... i wanted to shoot myself, or at least build a time machine and shoot my former self... so we're downtown and katie goes to buy something to only have her card declined, even though she has a bunch of money in her account, so she starts to get all pouty and wants the world to feel sorry for her which i did of course, cause i care and all but she does go a bit overboard sometimes and yeah it does get on my nerves... fuck it all to hell.. so yeah i just wanted to hang out with mandy then and i did... and now that i think about it, it was her that i was following around in stores and her that i told about things that i wanted to buy... so i have no fucking idea what to do anymore... oh and yeah, katie got me tell her about my dreams last nite... so i could totally tell she was nervous about me hanging out with mandy today... fun fun.. and she got real quiet when i said that i was lending mandy the money so that she can go to NY with me, even though she already knew that i was going to... argh... what to do what to do... oh and i just remembered that i have to be at new student orientations tomorrow morning... wanna smoke...

damn it all to hell... i just found out that my favourite band is going to be playing a show on oct 31st... halloween... but i have to be in grand rapids that day to go to stupid naca, which isnt all that stupid, actually its a lot of fun, but damnit, i'd much rather go to see my band play than hang out with program board people... grr... and these dreams and feelings need to stop... on a completley unrelated note... i've been having dreams about mandy for about a week now and its driving me crazy... i'm in a very happy relationship with katie, whom i love a lot, but yeah, i dunno, but these dreams better stop soon cause i'm going crazy. and i wish i didnt feel so jealous about mandy and diego whenever i see the two of them... its just that diego has done something that i could never do: get to mandy and do something about it... fuck... grr... i just really needed to get that out in the open cause i'm going fucking insane... if i'm not already there... ok back to office work... oh and any of my friends that reas this and know both of them, please DO NOT say ANYTHING to either of them, k?... cause if you do, it means death...

please let something exciting happen soon... please!!... i'm sitting here in the office alone, as usual... i've gotten a bunkch of work done... faxed the offer to alkaline trio (since chuck couldn't cause he had the wrong fax #... grr...)... eMailed a couple of agents on availabilities... now i'm just here alone, listening to music, worrying about my ear cause it feels wet and my inner ear feels clogged... the wetness is probably just normal discharge, and the cloggedness is most likely my allergies cause this is my bad season, and yes the rag weed is poppong up all over the place now so that means i can basically give up on breathing... so umm, yeah... i did get my ear pierced on friday, but only in the left lobe twice, cause i felt like i was gonna throw up after the second one, but i already paid for the third one so i have to go back and get it... possibly in a couple of weeks... i'm gonna wear an ear plug so i don't hear the tearing sound... so anywayz, i'll write more later (about warped tour and stuff)... i'm not alone anymore, but i don't particularly like this person's company...

alrighty... i just finished cleaning my room!! woot!! now i can have my tickets... hehehe... i through out so much garbage... i'm a pig... oink... and i almost coughed up one of my lungs... i'm allergic to dust, so leaning is actually havardous to my health... well, lets see whats leaft on my list to do today... thats right... pierce my ear!! double woot!! now to decide if i want to get all three in my one ear at once or hold off and just get one in my lobe and in my cartilidge... decisions decisions...