just me

i'm just waiting. i'm just fucking waiting.

1) i'm sorry i keep running around after you like something is going to happen to you. i know you can handle yourself.

2) i'm sorry for what's going to happen if you back the wrong horse again. one more threat and i will take it to security and the dean myself.

3) i'm sorry that i did give you the benefit of the doubt that you weren't trying to hurt me by saying those things. i'm even more sorry that after everything that's happened in the past week, you did the opposite of prove me wrong. now when you're ready to make up again, like usual, in the next 2 weeks or so, you'll know how sorry you should be. i'm sorry....but i never want to speak to you again.

4) i'm sorry, but you have no idea what you're talking about.
PJ

this is not enough

I'm sorry I'm such a flake.
I'm sorry I wasn't there for you.
I'm sorry I disappointed you.
I'm sorry I have nothing to show you for all the faith you had in my potential.
I'm sorry for not trying harder, doing more.
I'm sorry for taking more than I gave.
I'm sorry for being so caught up in my trivial wallowing that I failed to recognize your pain.
I'm sorry that it's too late for sorry.
  • Current Mood
    guilty guilty
sicily, cuteness

i'm so sorry...


i'm sorry. i wish i could just say that to you...[16 Nov 2008|01:26pm]

i am so sorry...i want to fix this. you have no idea the lengths t which i would go, to earn your forgiveness. i'd let you to take me "back there", however you saw fit.and it would be a release. a perfect apology. if you had to check me every singe day, i would be your best parolee. just touch my wris and you'd protect it from harm. i really wish you would bring me back there. i'd feel so much less guilty and that much more forgiven. 'cause i'm unbelievably sorry. i just want you to hold me tight and tell me i'm still your best girl. 'cause you're everything upon everything to me. it hurts to look at your pictures because it's been so long since we've talked. i hope you still actually love me, because that would be nice right about now when everything is falling apart. everything is falling apart. i wonder if i had told you that, instead of you having to drag it out of me...maybe we'd still be close. i just never wanted to hurt you, ever.
* * * *

(i won't write the rest, because it was part of a letter i really shouldn't write...)
and for the record, i've gone 15 months free of the addiction.sorry, free of *acting* on it.

 

just me

(no subject)

i'm sorry i'm not helpful.


i'm sorry we're not 5 years older, with an apartment, or (dare i dream) a house, with a couple of turtles and a steady job and maybe even a nest egg.


i'm sorry if this isn't what you were waiting for...
sweep me off my feet

I'm sorry:


I feel like you deserve more of me, but right now that's not possible, but I'll give you everything I can (because I want to).

I've dragged you through some situations that you don't need to be a part of, but thank you.

I know I spread myself too thin, I always, always do. "The lights that shine the brightest also dim the quickest." That rings over and over and over in my head, thanks Dad, I'll prove you wrong.

I often set the bar too high for myself and sometimes it takes me awhile to make it over, if I make it at all.

life goes on

ughh

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.

I want you to be my best friend
I miss you.

I'm sorry for everything wrong that I've said
I'm sorry for everything wrong that I've done.

can't everything just be alright?
Plastic Beach

(no subject)

For S. -

I'm sorry for being a dramaqueen, being a jealous little son of a bitch, having a horrible personality, having the fear of being left alone by everyone, being too damned proud for my own good, always thinking I'm right (lol, I can't help it that I'm right most of the time though), etc etc.
I'm sorry I won't say sorry to you, but just act like I don't care about this huge-ass fight  that ended our friendship.
I'm sorry for ignoring you when you wanted us to have a good conversation about this.
I'm sorry I'm not even sure about my own fricking feelings.
I'm sorry I'm such a little wuss.
I'm sorry I'm always the one starting fights while I hate conflicts.

I'm sorry I ever met you, because the feeling that I've lost you forever is really hurtful.


Your former best friend.
  • Current Music
    Anna Tschuchiya - Without You