Death Bed: The Bed That Eats
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt038563…What I learned from this movie:
Little old ladies like to read magazines about "Oral Lesbians"
100 years ago, they buried you in glitter eyeshadow
If your hands are melted off by acid, the bones remain fully articulated until your sibling snaps them off for you
You can light a roaring fire with just 2 birch logs and 1 match on the first strike
Maniacs like to break into abandoned buildings and CLEAN them
So this movie is.... weird. It's a horror movie.... wait, no it's really more an art film.... well actually I thin kit might be a parody... no it's just sort of...
Ok, I will level with you. I have no idea what I just saw. It's a movie. About a bed. That eats. It eats flowers, apples, suitcases, drinks wine. It eats playing cards, cigars, hell it even ate a bucket of chicken (no, I am not kidding, could I make this shit up?). Oh and it also eats people. LOUDLY and with some of the worst fake crunching and swallowing noises ever and gallons of yellowish digestive fluids (I guess they paid a lot for the effect and planned on getting their money's worth). Basically, that's all there is to the plot. The narrator is some gothy looking dead guy trapped behind a painting in the same room with the bed, and then several people wander in only to end up the main course in this weird, weird film. Lots of naked chicks, minimal gore (the usual low budget red paint), some oddly timed slapstick, numerous scenes that made me laugh out loud (the line "This place is awfully clean for being abandoned. I hope there isn't some maniac around!" made me howl) this movie was worth renting (and is mercifully short at 80 minutes). Hell I might have to own it!
Here is a more detailed review. I just can't commit that kind of time to this movie!
http://chud.com/forums/archive/ind…
