Psych Quote

Henry: Shawn, the worst thing you can do in these situations is take matters into your own hands.

Shawn: Got it. We're gonna have to take matters into our own hands.

Gus: Are you sure that's what your dad said?

Shawn: Gus, don't be the one game at Chuck E. Cheese that isn't broken. By the time the cops arrive, these prisoners will be half-way from here to the Pacific Ocean.

Gus: Half-way from here to the Pacific Ocean IS the Pacific Ocean.

Quotes from last night's new episode of Psych, Bollywood Homicide.

Shawn: "This is Detective Carlton Lassiter. I do his job. And sometimes his hair. Though clearly not today."

Shawn: "Gus please. Don't be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan."
Gus: "Azkaban."
Shawn: "I've heard it both ways."

Juliet: "Lassiter's really got your goat, huh?"
Shawn: "Yeah he does. And I want it back. God knows what he's doing to the poor thing."

Abby: "You came here to help Raj..."
Shawn: "Yes."
Abby: "But instead you got his brother arrested for attempted murder?"
Shawn: "That is correct."
Abby: "So, business as usual?"
Shawn: "It's... the process."

Sheriff Hank: “Hell, I wasn’t even gonna call you out, but Binky insisted.”
Gus: “Binky?”
Sheriff Hank: “Oh. You don’t call him Binky?”
Shawn: “We do now…”

“Dammit Guster, when a man asks you to bite his toe, you bite his toe!” –Lassiter

Shawn: “You wouldn’t understand. You’ve never killed a man.”
Lassiter: “Yes I have.”
Shawn: “Yeah but you’ve never pretend-killed one. Repeatedly. I struggle with it every time.”
Gus: “Two times now.”
Shawn: “Yep. Both times.”
 

Lassiter: “Alright Chief, I just want to say that I am 100% sure that you have no proof whatsoever that I have done anything even remotely Old Sonora related in the last… two hours.”
Chief Vick: “Sheriff Becker would like to formally invite you into the McBain case.”
Lassiter:”Oh thank God ‘cause I was totally lying just then.”

“I’m the good guy, you toothless hillbillies! Though I did just shoot that man for real, so clear on out.” -Lassiter

“This is not a typical map my friend, with large words that people don’t understand, like ‘latitudinal’ and ‘east’.” –Shawn

Shawn: “I’m receiving a psychic transmission from your husband… it’s really more of a voicemail if I’m being honest, a status update… perhaps a twitter.”
Gus: “I believe it’s called a tweet.”
Shawn: “There’s no way I’m saying that.” 

“You and Mr. Clayton were having an affair. That’s why you pray to Saint Dwynwen, the patron saint of dirty filthy lovers in the nighttime.” –Shawn 

“Who is this man? Make me make him leave!” –Rosa, the Claytons’ maid

Lassiter: “In other words you got fired.”
Shawn: “Or maybe I was getting too close”
Lassiter: “Or maybe you were acting like an obnoxious little twerp.”
Shawn: “I’m sticking with getting too close. But it is nice to hear the word twerp has survived the millennium.”

“Let me guess. You got a loosely formed idea that shouldn’t work on paper, but ultimately proves to be reasonably successful?” –Gus

Guy at Country Club: “I had no idea psychics did so well.”
Shawn: “Most don’t.”
Gus: “Some do.”
Shawn: “Many try.”
Gus: “Few can.”
Shawn: “I have.”

“There is no “Relationship Shawn,” or “Boyfriend Shawn,” there’s just regular Shawn and Malibu Shawn, you know that.” –Shawn

Shawn: “Gus, note to self. Remember 1600 Joshua Lane.”
Gus: “You can’t give me your note to self, it’s a note to yourself.”
Shawn: “Fair enough. At that moment, Shawn found himself alone. Unable to face the journey ahead.”
Gus: “You can’t do your own omniscient narration, either.”
Shawn: “Let’s see what’s at 1313 Mockingbird Lane.”
Gus: “That’s the Munsters’ house, it was 1600 Joshua Lane.”
Shawn: “Thanks, note to self.”

 "My name is Shawn Spencer. This is my associate, Jazz Hands.” –Shawn

Nyna: “You guys believe in karma, don’t you?”
Shawn: “Yes we do. But only because we’re karma chameleons.”
Gus: “We come and go.”

Shawn: “What is not important, Mrs. Clayton, is who accused who of partricide.”
Gus: “You mean patricide.”
Shawn: “Then what’s partricide?”
Gus: “Killing a partridge.”
Shawn: “It’s a victimless crime.”
Gus: “No it’s not, Shawn.”
Shawn: “Then who’s the victim?”
Gus: “The partridge!”

“You’re not bald, you’re just taller than your hair.” –Abby
 

Henry: Hey Shawn! Over here, buddy. Hey, how about a big hello for your old man, [who] you haven't seen in a week.
Little Shawn: Hi, old man. Can we go now?

Gus: Let me be very clear. These hands are not touching anyone. I only use these hands to touch myself. Uh... let me rephrase that.
Shawn: Stop speaking. And no more fist bumps for the rest of the day.

Vick: Who gave you access to the file room?
Shawn: Irrelevant! And, immaterial.
Lassiter: Chief, you're not going to let him do that thing where he only uses courtroom jargon, are you?
Vick: Mr. Spencer...
Shawn: He's making a mockery of these proceedings! All I'm saying is that she's making a very compelling argument.
Morgan Conrad: You're an idiot.
Shawn: That's less compelling. Move to strike.
Morgan Conrad: Please remove him.
Lassiter: Gladly.
Shawn: Sidebar, Ms. Conrad.

Shawn: How can you tell that someone's a compulsive liar? I mean, assuming that their pants aren't on fire.
Juliet: Trust me, we know.
Shawn: Oh, come on, Jules. We all tend to bend the truth just a little.
Juliet: Not me.
Shawn: Oh really?
Juliet: [shakes head]
Shawn: Does this ring a bell? *girl voice* No Shawn, I have not had any naughty dreams about you. *regular voice* And *girl voice* Yes, Shawn, I do wish Gus was never born so that I could be your partner.
Gus: What?
Shawn: True story.
Gus: That's messed up.
Juliet: I never said that, Gus.

“Shawn Spencer. Head psychic for the SBPD. I’m available. For cases as well.” -Shawn

 

Conrad: “In case you missed it Detective, this is my ‘I told you so’ face.”

Shawn: “Which is kind of indistinguishable from your ‘I thought it was a new episode of Law and Order but it’s a repeat’ face.”

Lassiter: “A dead body changes things.”

Shawn: “And that’s your email signature.”

 

Shawn: “We have found our arsonurderer. “

Gus: “What? Uh-uh.”

Shawn: “Fir-ars-man? Senor Pantalones de Fuego?”

 

“If this man was wearing the sneakers at the time of his death, he was murdered in 1998. Possibly by the Fashion Mafia.” –Shawn

 

Shawn: “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

Conrad: “I will bet every penny I have that I am not.”

 

Shawn: “I plead the third.”

Gus: “The third amendment says that a soldier can’t be lodged in your house. You mean the fifth.”

Shawn: “I’ve heard it both ways.”

 

Lassiter: “This could be our killer”

Shawn: “Furderer.” [weird looks from Gus, Jules, and Lassiter] “Fire murderer. Furderer.”

 

Shawn: “Not all pets can go live on a wheat farm like my rabbits.”

Henry: “That’s right son.”

Shark toast, velvety shark toast!

Can we go cliff diving in Ziwytenaho? (sp?)

Woohoo this community has been around for a year now!!  Thank you to everyone who has contributed, and I hope you're all enjoying the quotes! :D

Gus: How should we introduce ourselves? Don't say "psychic," they'll shut you off. Pick something vague, like Alternative Tactics Division.
Shawn: How about the Bureau of Magic and Spell Casting?

Shawn: I'm Shawn Spenstar. This is my partner, Gus T.T. Showbiz.
Gus: The extra T is for extra talent.

Vick: It has come to my attention, Detective, that you've discharged your weapons in the last four cases you've worked.
Lassiter: Thank you.
Vick: That wasn't a compliment.
Lassiter: I'm just trying to keep the streets safe, Chief.
Vick: The last incident was at a cat show.
Lassiter: Well, let me just go on record as saying that I would never shoot a cat.
Vick: I guess I could find some solace in that.
Lassiter: Unless it was approaching in a threatening manner... or refused to stop upon my command. I would probably just fire a warning shot to make my point, but that's really a field decision. I can't commit to it at this juncture.

Quotes from tonight's episode!

"Good job you guys. It usually takes me 15 minutes to work Lassiter into that kind of lather. Then I rinse and repeat." -Shawn

Chief Vick: "Unless you come up with something tangible, I don't think I can stop this train."
Shawn: "Chief, I think you can. I think you can. I think you can."

"My partner has moved on. My career is in shambles. Even Sweet Lady Justice has abandoned me. Bitch." -Lassiter

"I can't believe you bought that text message was from me! It lacked all nuance, my signature mocking tone, and it was completely devoid of emoticons." -Shawn