So...it's been a crazy two years. I never thought so much could change in just twenty-four months, and that I would feel like the same and yet; a completely different person.
I went to Adelphi for Grad School, got my Masters in Social Work. That was a ride, to say the least. I still am not sure it will pay off, but we shall see I suppose.
Let's see. Since 2007 I graduated for the third time from 18th grade, I got engaged to the amazing Roy Pfoh (who saw that coming?? Not me.), and I am currently job hunting and working towards moving Upstate with him. Oh, and I am studying to pass the licensing boards so that I can go from an MSW to an LMSW. I have a new Summer job of choice for the time being, and life is totally hectic and ridiculous.
I am still a firm believer in the fact that growing up sucks, and I am not a fan. I still wear hoodies every chance I get and decidedly do NOT like wearing professional attire. I still love eyeliner, and sparkles...never giving them up completely. I just kind of feel that capitalism forces youth to make life decisions very quickly and at an age when you don't really know exactly what you really want and feel about life. By the time you've gone after the choice you made, you might feel very differently about just about everything and at that point it is too late to turn around.
Yet, here I am. Not turning around...and no matter what I plan on doing I know it will all be alright because I am building it with the love of my life. As long as we have food and a roof over our heads then I think we will be just fine. All this hard work is so that we can have a cute house attached to the roof, extremely yummy food and a few pets too.
Many friends have changed, some have stayed the same. I think it will be interesting to see what happens when we move.
So...who is still around and what's happening in your life?
Well...I dont have a ton of time to post. But I figured I'd say a few words.
I will have some of my life back on May 20th. I will graduate with my B.A. in Philosophy & Religion.
Hopefully I get into Adelphi's Grad Program. Seriously keep every body part you own crossed for me.
I haven't done too much because I've truly had way too much work to do. But I really want to get back out there and see people. The important ones.
There's something that needs to be said concerning that. Apparently I did a piss poor job of picking friends out when I was in FHS. Almost everyone I have ever been close to has severely dissapointed me in the last 6 months, and you might be able to stretch that to a year. Maybe it's me, and the amount of dissapointment is in correlation to the amount of suckage I contain. Who knows. But I'm tired of trying and getting shut out, or getting the ugly sides of people revealed to me.
This Summer I am down to make money and be responsible, but also have LOADS of fun, and I only want to do this with good people. People who laugh, love and can be carefree and serious all at the same time. My standards are getting higher as I get older, but I'm always here to talk and give people chances. I may say I hate everyone sometimes, but I truly love people, and I'd like to know and enjoy as many as I can. I'm always here. I think people forget that.
Anyway, enough with that. I'm tired of being ridiculously stressed and sad and full of torment. I'm letting it all go.
So...Let's make SUMMER '07 the best that it can possibly be.
Who is with me? =)
3 weeks and I will be partying and funning my butt into oblivion!
So...Spring Break has finally come! Which for me really means more work to do, and more "distraction-free" time in which to do it. How do people deal with being academics their whole lives? They probably have skills that I dont. I have one big paper, one smaller one, a workshop to put together on sex and dating....and I should start some gender research.
Yeah...I know you're laughing at my holding a workshop on sex and dating. Trust me...it wasnt my idea. I dont think I'm all that qualified either. I think all I need to do is walk in say, "wrap it before you tap it" and "be nice to girls, try playing the guitar in front of them" and that should be the end. Apparently, my director doesnt think that will cut it. lol.
I'm pretty much more than halfway done though. I'm working on Grad school now. Scaaaaaaaaaaaary shiznit.
Anyway....that's why I'm not so available. But I'm available nights this week....so call me dudes!
I'm drowning in all of the classwork, intern-work and responsibilities of being in my senior year of school. In case anyone was interested in knowing where I am.
I knew it would be hard, but this is killing me. And if I cant handle this...how am I handling Grad School? That's another thing I'm having a hard time working out.
In fact, I'm burning out and not dealing with almost anything right now. I'm just doing the minimum in order to appear like I have everything in order.
I see my friend Rose who is in almost all of my classes and interning this semester, and she has it all together. Yeah, she is having a hard time as well, but she doesnt stop, she puts all the time she needs in and she is always on task. That used to be em. I was that girl. I was the one keeping everyone else in line because shit had to get done and done well. Now I need my ass kicked? Who am I?
I dont know and I'm lost and I hurt...not entirely sure why or what's going on in my head. It's mixed up. I'd just like to get out of this alive, making decent grades in all of my classes.
The Summer is my friend. We get along.
So...who will pary with me when I graduate on jay 20th? I'd like to remember that day...but remembering the night isnt at all neccesary. lol.
PS...I forgot how much I'm in absolute love with The Used. MMMMMMMMM......yummy.
Pretty much my stress level was up WAY past any level that could be considered healthy, so I was just doing what needed to get done and now worrying about anything more than my Myspace addiction. Which is horrendous by the way. I swear I'll be 30, and still messaging/commenting/bulletining friends on Myspace.
How is my life you ask? Thanks for asking, I'll tell.
Well, just ducky. I mean, it's rough a lot of the time. But that's life isnt it? School and money issues are sucking the life out of me, but what's new? One more big paper and a math final, and I'm done with Fall 06. Just have to make it through next semester and hopefully I'm walking down that aisle, and throwing my cap! But I do have to get through a 90 Hour internship+20page paper, Senior Seminar ( Writing a 30 page thesis summing up my past 4 years of knowledge aqcuisition), Sociology of Minorities and Psychology of Gender. Oy...that makes me tired just thinking about it.
Roy has taken me to the Light Show at the beach, and the EAB tree....and I gotta say....him being all sweet-like and all of the lights and cheer, I'm beginning to get a twinkle of the Christmas Spirit for the first time in awhile this year. Sometimes I get it the day of, or the night before...or not at all. But I'm getting pieces of it early, and I love it. And I love him...like in a pretty serious way. I think about being with him forever all of the time. But I'm getting WAY ahead of myself, I know.
I'm starting to get my health back into shape, but its a slow process. People dont understand exactly what I'm up against, and its hard to articulate. Just, I'm doing what I can, and what I have to...and I'll be myself again. I need Summer, I'm starting to think that I have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). But we'll see. I'm sick as a dig now, though. Fever, shivers...the whole shebang. It really sucks...not gonna lie.
I'm going to sleep forever tomorrow, then get at least half of my paper written. I swearrr.
Anyway....I hope everyone is doing well and surviving Finals Week/(s). I love you all and I wish ya the best!
I was in Massachusetts, and the weather wasn't nearly as bad as I had anticipated. The weather here was worse and the turbulance it caused on the flight almost had me tossing my cookies. Yuckkk.
But it was awesome to see my whole family. My Cousin grows up ages everytime I see him, and it makes me feel old. My family is the main thing I'm thankful for. As much as I feel under pressure when we have a visit, they are there for me and they care. It feels good.
I guess the things that I'm able to have, my Mother, Roy and the actual true friends that I have left are really what I'm thankful for. That's what keeps me going.
I didnt sleep at all when I was away, cause I'm apparently not Transplantable. So I feel so wrung out and ridiculous. It will take me forever to recover. But work and going back to school shook me out of some of my stupor.
Umm....I hate driving. Like I honestly hate going anywhere other than work, Roy's or Erin's. With a passion. It gives me nervous breakdowns and fits. =(
Oh...and who is going to help me find my Christmas Spirit this year? Erin is going to New Zealand and Tahiti in a few days until pretty much right before Christmas. Ugh. What will I do with my life?
Comment and I'll give you a letter; then you have to list 10 things you love that begin with that letter. Afterwards, post this in your journal and give out some letters of your own.
Because I can't link...Col gave me The Letter E.
1) E-mail...love when I get real, meaningful stuff.
2) Elephants...cause I love almost all animals, and elephants are adorable.
3) Encyclopedias....cause they saved my life when I didnt know where to start with research in Middle and High School.
4) Elevation....the song by U2. =)
5) Elevators, because most of the time escalators scare the crap out of me.
6) Estimation...gets me where I need to be on time. lol.
7) Emo...cause all of you seem to think all of the more current stuff that I listen to is such.
8) Entenmenn's baked goods....cause back when I used to eat once in awhile, the pies kicked butt.
9) Entertainment...cause I love to use media to entertain myself and I used to love being the entertainment. (Can you tell I'm grasping at strwas here?)
10) Extreme...the band because they happened to ironically come on my iPod, and I <3 More Than Words, it's so beautiful sounding, even if the song is about a guy trying to get a girl in bed.
I have to say....I adore live music. If I wasnt in such ridiculous health shape, it would be something I do so much more often!
Panic! At The Disco and Jack's Mannequin both were absolutely amazing!!!!!
Andrew's voice was not like usual, but give the former cancer patient a break. He's probably lucky to be alive. I want to have so much rockstar sex with him. Really.
And Panic! actually wasnt bad live...I was digging it. I <3 eyelinnnnnnnnner! =) Seriously though, I loved the energy.
Just kind of wish I didnt leave towards the end to toss my cookies. That sucked.
I still feel like I'm about to today. Alcohol of any more than 3 sips = NO...from now on. I'm defective. =(
Anyway...Erin rocks for making my dream concert come true, and I loved ittttt! Our train heart to hearts always make me laugh and feel better at the same time.
Plus thanks for my keychain wallet! Seriously...D&B = <3
Okay so...this weekened was nuts. I actually had a life, and since it is a rare occurence, I feel the need to chronicle.
Thursday Rose and I from school went to get dinner and played pool. I forgot how much I suck. But by the end, even if I couldnt do what I wanted, I always was able to actually hit one of the balls and in the right direction. lol. Woooo for me! =)
Friday, I studed my ass of in the morning, and I was brave, I flew Tinkerbell once again with my Mom to run errands. That was interesting. I lived and I didnt panic too much. I'm going to start slow, but get back to the area where I was. Then Kimmmmmmmers called me and her, The Twins and I went to The Crazy Donkey. SUCH good times. I need to learn to dance better, I looked so friggin' white. But, I also ran into my guitar teacher...weird. Ha.
Saturday and Sunday I worked my ass off and felt like death. I dislike getting lost on the way home from being Upstate, and there being nobody online to keep me sane. What goes on, on a Sunday?
TONIGHT...
PANIC! AT THE DISCO AND JACK'S MANNEQUIN!
AHHHH!!!!!
I'm a little psyched. As you might have guessed. I kinda love both bands just a tad. Back in the concert grooooove, bitches.
Ugh...I need to get laid again. It makes me feel better. That or I'm just a fiend. Any longer than 3 days and I'm so on edge. It's gross.
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