Proana1

hello ladies..ive been gone for a long time! i just got a new computer. well since ive been gone ive lost 20 pounds. its been a little hard staying on track. I feel disgusting right now, i havnt had sex in days because i dont want my boyfriend to see me naked.
And the worst thing happend yesterday..we were watching a movie and it showed a girl in these little underwear and he says "damn" I felt so fat after that moment. I never want to eat again.

cw: 140 lb
hw: 160 lb
lw: 120 lb
stgw: 130 lb
ltgw: 110 lb

Greetings,

I'm a second-year journalism student at Ryerson University in Toronto, Canada. I'm working on an article about young women who refuse professional help for their eating disorders.  I'd like to interview women who view their eating disorders as positive ways of life.

If any woman is interested in having her story told, please e-mail me at barbara__elizabeth@hotmail.com  I'm running close to deadline on this story, so I'd prefer it if only young women who can commit to a telephone interview by the end of this week respond.  Due to the personal nature of the article, I can protect your identity by using a false name in the story.

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Barbara

After a couple of months of not throwing up everyday (i still threw up about 3 or 4 times a month) i caved again. last saturday i came one point short of passing a test...even though i have never gotten upset about anything school related, i became devisated. so after drinking and crying for about 2 hours i threw up. immediately i felt a little better...that was one thing that i knew always made me feel better. so then on sunday i ate breakfast, and lunch, and i threw up my dinner-by monday i was gone...mia had the best of me again. all week now i have only been having two baby carrots and one cracker for breakfast and sometimes dinner (i try to go without dinner) and i have a normal lunch but throw it all up. i have lost 5 pounds...but its not fast enough. this morning i got on the scale and it said i weighed 173 (i started at 180...i am almost 5' 11")i was extremely satisfied this morning with that number and i knew i could get even lower...tonight when i got on the scale again it said i weighed 175...i started crying before i even left the bathroom. i am also extremely nervous because i am going away this weekend with a friend and her family...every year we do this we eat tons of pizza and junk food and then go out to breakfast the next morning...i dont know what im going to do. my friend already asked me what kind of junk food i wanted, but i told her that i am on a 'healthy food' diet and ill bring my own...i still dont know what im going to do about dinner and then breakfast. i think i might go to the store early tomorrow morning and buy some ricecakes or lowfat things and pack my own meals. i will tell them i cant cave one day on my diet (ill say its weight watchers) or i will go off completely. if you have any ideas i am going to check this before i leave tomorrow morning-so please help me! it will be almost impossible for me to throw up because we are in a small hotel room-so i dont know what to do! i feel helpless and i dont want to be any more of a failure. its bad enough i gained two pounds today. so please help me out! thanks guys.

Went to my bf's friend's wedding this weekend & everyone told me how skinny I look & that I've lost so much weight. Although I was pleased with their comments, I secretly kept thinking "I want more"...I'm totally obsessed. I've finally reached a good point -thin- but now I want more, I want to lose more more more. I cannot stop.


my new motto:

YOU CANNOT EAT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE UNLESS YOU WANT TO LOOK LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.

Remember this at meals, events, going out to restaurants.
I think about this when I stare at menus forever, pining & agonizing, knowing that whatever I choose will still leave me overwhelmed with guilt--though, everyone around me will give me those looks--"another salad, will you ever eat?" and I will reply with my own look--"Yes, I am ordering another salad --no cheese, light/fat free dressing on the side, no croutons--why? well, because I don't want to look like you."
I told my boyfriend that we eat out way too much. I'd rather just eat at home, where it's at least somewhat safe.

I've lost...I work out at 5:30am Monday-Friday (and sometimes in the evenings also)...this week, I will work out 2x/day MWF and 1x/day(morning only) T,TH...it's working, but I need to step it up, keep giving myself new challenges each week.

I always want more. I really don't think I'll ever be satisfied.

hey guys-im new to this group-i have been reading entries for a while! you guys have kept me hanging in there. ...here is some of the 'fun' stuff'...
Age:20
Height:5'10"
CW(lbs):183(ugh)
LW:142
HW:185(i had never weighed that much in my life!)
i hope to get down to at least 130 pounds, although my ideal weight would be 125. we'll see how well that goes-when i was down to 142, 3 different family members asked me or my parents if i had an eating disorder.(and i was secretly flattered!) i think i can do it-though. this weekend is going to be hard! my grandmas cousin died-so we are going to her funeral...afterwards we always go out to eat-so my WHOLE family is going to be there. im hoping that we will all be so busy socializing that they wont notice if i eat! i dont know how to get around it, though. its also going to be hard because im going to be at home all weekend (because of the funeral) and my parents will obviously notice if i eat or dont eat!
ive been doing well today-ive been up since 9, and its now 11:45 and i havent had anything to eat!(the last time i ate was 4 oclock last night, but it was only half of a potato) i have class from 12-1:30...so i wont be tempted to eat then. i think i might have an apple or something after, just so i dont start getting dizzy. i have to go get some clothes for this weekend-so ill be walking around the mall burning calories!! ...a good snack or "meal" that you guys can try is making homemade french fries. just cut a potato up and spray pam on a pan...then bake it in the oven for as long as you want. the only calories you'll be eating are those in the potato! alright! class time! think thin, everyone!!

Ok--I need some serious input. Coffee: good or bad? I mean, I know it's not good for you, but does it inhibit weightloss? Just curious if anyone has info. regarding the effects on metabolism, etc.

Specifically, I get 1 nonfat no whip cafe mocha (starbucks) most mornings before work, and I've hardly been eating anything lately (lost 7lbs in the past 10 days), but I'm wondering if I would lose more if I stopped drinking it at all, or at least limit to 2 or so per week. Do you think it makes much of a difference if I'm only having like 300cals of food/day? I just can't decided, because I've read studies about caffeine in coffee boosting your metabolism, and/or being helpful if you drink it on an empty stomach (which I do), but I've also heard that caffeine in coffee inhibits weight-loss, but my friend & I were thinking that might only apply to really fat people, not already small people trying to get even smaller. I don't know. I'm talking in circles...

Any input?

Thanks girls!! :)

I <3 Starbucks forever...

Down 2 lbs since Monday! YAY... I'm so fired up and excited. This is just what I needed.

Hope you're all losing... it's the greatest feeling.

2lbs closer to perfection.

Thinspirational Picture of the Day:

Yay! I am so fucking proud of myself! lol I'm eating strawberries right now, and then I'm done for the day (eating wise). I said earlier that I was going to have soup for lunch, but I had taquitos instead, which was 170 cals, and tea for breakfast- 0 cals, and strawberries right now, and that's about 50 cals. So, about 220 cals for today. HOWEVER I ran/jogged today and that was about 202 cals GONE, so about 20 cals total today! Yay! I'm so freakin' excited! I think I'm back on the road to success! I mean, Jesus Christ, something has to be done; school starts in less than 22 days, and I have to be down to 102 or around there. Of course, I don't even know what I am now because I'm too freakin' scared to get on the scale, but I will one of these days.....

#1. Thank you to everyone who always comments with support--I heart you girls so much! And it really does help.

#2. IT'S August 1st--> A NEW MONTH! Set some new goals for yourself and evaluate how far you've come in the past month. Summer's almost over--so let's get outside and burn some cals!

#3. My boyfriend is on vacation with his family until Sunday, so I'M FREE! I don't have to worrying about eating at all or having to eat certain things, or especially going out to eat! I can be worry-free all week and hopefully lose lose lose... No Food! yay.

#4. What I will do this week: workout everyday after work, orientation for retail job Weds., schedule massage, get haircut, nails done, facial on Sunday. :) Yay-->my mini-vacation

Good luck this month!
"Every passing moment is another chance to turn it all around"