Emotional abuse?
I've been on and off with this guy. Long distance. I want to make this brief, so I’ll put it behind a cut.. I really want help. I don't want "dump him" or something simple.. just real, heartfelt advice from someone who understands the situation..
it began last month when I met an intellectual ( sometimes overly so) young man that i found had certain things in common with me ( we are both hopeless know it alls) well, eventually we became somewhat close and began dating. now, there were times when i wanted to drop kick him to the moon.. and times where his kindness and heart shone through and i felt only fond feelings for him. I respected his views and I was willing to make it work despite our obvious differences.
Here is where things turned sour. By nature, I am not a submissive person, but I began to do so in order to avoid his violent mood swings. They frightened me.. greatly. He would insult me- cut my self esteem down like a chainsaw to a sapling- show little or no respect for my opinions.. which were seen as "empty words with no base in fact" It hurts to be disrespected like this. And it is frightening to see how quickly he switches back and forth.
It got to a point where i would shelter myself from his tongue by not giving my opinions- I felt that my own opinions were worthless to him because no matter what i said he always had something to disprove it. It is my fault for not standing up, yes- but the reader should be aware that talking to him about it only makes the swings more violent and disruptive.
Should a swing happen, he will contact me ( three days after saying he never wants to speak to me again) and apologize profusely. I care for him.. so i don't mind forgiving.. its hard for him to apologize. but the thing is, the cycle just repeats. I want to know what i can do to help him. he was there for me during a traumatic period in my life.. and helped me change so that it wouldn't affect me as much I just want him to be happy.
I plan on traveling the 200 some odd miles to go see him, its a 2 hour trip, but i think it will help him sort everything out. Perhaps its the distance getting to him.. I am not certain. He did admit that the reason we keep breaking up is the distance, but he says in the actual argument that its because he doesn't like me. i don’t know if going to visit is a good or bad thing for this relationship. We once spoke of a future together, neither of us really wants to let that go. I turn to you for help.
it began last month when I met an intellectual ( sometimes overly so) young man that i found had certain things in common with me ( we are both hopeless know it alls) well, eventually we became somewhat close and began dating. now, there were times when i wanted to drop kick him to the moon.. and times where his kindness and heart shone through and i felt only fond feelings for him. I respected his views and I was willing to make it work despite our obvious differences.
Here is where things turned sour. By nature, I am not a submissive person, but I began to do so in order to avoid his violent mood swings. They frightened me.. greatly. He would insult me- cut my self esteem down like a chainsaw to a sapling- show little or no respect for my opinions.. which were seen as "empty words with no base in fact" It hurts to be disrespected like this. And it is frightening to see how quickly he switches back and forth.
It got to a point where i would shelter myself from his tongue by not giving my opinions- I felt that my own opinions were worthless to him because no matter what i said he always had something to disprove it. It is my fault for not standing up, yes- but the reader should be aware that talking to him about it only makes the swings more violent and disruptive.
Should a swing happen, he will contact me ( three days after saying he never wants to speak to me again) and apologize profusely. I care for him.. so i don't mind forgiving.. its hard for him to apologize. but the thing is, the cycle just repeats. I want to know what i can do to help him. he was there for me during a traumatic period in my life.. and helped me change so that it wouldn't affect me as much I just want him to be happy.
I plan on traveling the 200 some odd miles to go see him, its a 2 hour trip, but i think it will help him sort everything out. Perhaps its the distance getting to him.. I am not certain. He did admit that the reason we keep breaking up is the distance, but he says in the actual argument that its because he doesn't like me. i don’t know if going to visit is a good or bad thing for this relationship. We once spoke of a future together, neither of us really wants to let that go. I turn to you for help.