pre_raphaelite1, posts by tag: stupid students - LiveJournal

Gah, one more day of being on campus and then maybe I'll get to hide next week from it. I hate HATE only having one week off for break, especially when grades are due the Tues of that week. *kicks University*

But, I bring you gems of student essays and my snarky commentary. As always these are typed exactly as the students wrote them so all grammar problems, spelling errors, and what-the-fuckery is theirs.


His views were corrupt to everything even towards woman; he viewed that a woman has a decorative sex.
Well, I don't think that every woman has a decorative sex, but I've seen some nice labial jewelery.

You have curios influence over me.
Well you have a knick-knack influence over me, so there. *spits tongue out*

After young couple becomes engaged, sibyl's act on her stage was failing due to her emotion problem; which affected her engagement broken.
Er- right.

For a women, its okay for a man to be chunky.
But it is NOT okay for peanut butter to be chunky.

The behavoir of a person pretty much explains how that person is characterized.
Really?

Basically their point of beauty is a fat ugly woman.
My, the sensitivity of my students so incredibly moving.

Knowledge takes a big part in the process of growth because it is what a person goes by learning from others.
And the sky is blue because the sky is blue.

Media has dedicated whole television shows to actors, models and pretty people on television; why, because, there more pretty.
What about Ugly Betty!?! And clearly, where weigh moor pretty.

In the 1800's male nudity was the only thing you could paint nude.
But if you were painting female nudity you'd better be wearing clothes!

Society today sees male nudity as homosexual, unreal in society but soon enough it will come out.
So male nudity is in the closet? *goes to open her closet* Damnit! I want a naked boy!

She argues how women are becoming more obsess for their outlook than their inside.
Wouldn't it be nice to have more optomistic people?

The beautifulness of people increased over time since everyone is trying their best to make themselves look better than others to become the pretties.
I'm trying to my best to become one of the pretties with my beautifulness. Aren't you?

Husbands often place themselves in the psoition of superiority in the family since they are the breadmakers.
And occasionally the pastry chefs too!

Even gay men have some male values ingrained in their minds.
Only some though.

And those wealthy beautiful women are well eaten and fat.
Mmm, I do love being fat and well-eaten.


You know, it's really a wonder that the suicide rate for university instructors and professors isn't higher.

Just finished grading the first set of essays from my Basic Writing students. *headdesk* I think only 5 of 21 are passing which is normal for this course but still discouraging.

But I bring you random sentences from some of the essays, entered exactly as the students wrote them. Enjoy.

"Her parents felt as uneasy as zoologists releasing captive zoo animals into the wild untrained."
God but I love random similies.

"With the continuing rising cost of tuition, books, dorms, and just appling it seems just out of the question for the average middle ages class family."
Appling? Um... yeah. Well, I asked wildestranger about this earlier and she was appling while talking to me since it only takes one hand if you do it right, she said. :P

"Even the children born of faulty condoms are condemned to a life shouldering the hopes and dreams of their parents."
*giggles at the visual on this* It's a good sentence really.

"Since then, his father has many times insulted his son as being unbearably stupid, lazy, and more useless than a Mexican laborer."
*headdesk*

"Financial issues are one of the man reasons many parents give their child limited support, especially when they come from a low income or a cultural background."
Damn those people with cultural backgrounds!

"When I was in kindergarten, they brought me to study overboard at Singapore."
Hmm, what does one study overboard at Singapore? Ellie? An answer please?

"However, not every parent is like my burdensom I-will-sell-my-internal-organs-for-your-education parents."
I do just love this one. I wonder what his parents are missing.

According to one of my students, "In England immigrants are allowed to take testes to gain their citizenship."


*doesn't even know where to start*

*reads the next sentence*


"Sure, that is tapping into someone's personal life, but it's better than making a whole country suffer."


*dies*

Would someone kindly save me from my undergraduates? Please? Anyone???


*sighs* Damnit. You lot are such help...

I've been remiss this quarter in relaying the lovely things my students write in their essays, but I've kept a list in one of my notebooks (and yes, still on the wall of my university office). But here are a few from this recent stack of essays.

Sadly, all spelling, puntuation, and blatant lack of proof-reading or logic is directly as my students wrote it.
Happily, all my sarcasm is included afterwards to keep me from writing it on their papers.



"Everyone is always smiling big, the same way, as if a fat kid got some grubs."
Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. I'm gonna go eat worms!

"My other sister Jessica was raping and tying the tamale leaves to make look like little squares."
Poor Tamale leaves. I wonder if you are supposed to tie them first, though...
Or as brilliant_snark said, "That's gotta be illegal somewhere."

"The food at the concession stands is to die for. Not literally, if you eat too much you will die, but the food is good."
Thank you, Mr. Surgeon General.

"Unlike American mothers who encourage their children not to have to many responsibilities, but be responsible for their school work."
Erm.... HUH?

"The flames of the candles turn off, everything is dark, and I open my eyes."
Wow. They turn off? Even though you lit them with matches? I want some of those!

"Her face was pale and could not remain vision in one place."
WTF?

"It is known as a well organized, radium-sized, industrial city."
Really? Has someone called the scientists in yet?

"Since the home only consisted of females it was filled with joy, laughter, and happiness."
Oh yeah, except that one week a month when the submachine guns come out.

"Even since we were old enough to learn, we were taught not to do anything harmful to our bodies."
But obviously college students still aren't old enough to learn, because you didn't follow the friggin' essay prompt!


And I still have half the essays to grade! *rolls eyes*