poppetawoppet

lately it seems
all there is
is struggle.

(four short months it was getting better
four glimpses into a steady life.)

what is alive?

is it the state of breathing? thinking?
most bodily functions intact?

I may be alive,
but I'm not living.

(I don't want to die-
most days I just want to not be here.)

Alive?

I survive.

I wake up
get dressed
attend my responsibilities-
there are a few flowers in my garden,
but even some of those are weeds.

I don't need the struggle
it always finds me.

I always get past it
when that time does come
I will be able to breathe again.

Until then-
stay alive.