(no subject)
If Armageddon's going to happen, it'll be in an August. I don't really have anything to say, just that observation.
(no subject)
So I'm going to try to revive this community a bit.
I shut myself down for a large part after our last adventure. I'm tired of saving the world. I'm tired of being the tool behind the close calls and lucky breaks. In short, I'm tired of failing college because we're all going to die. So I shut myself down. Bad move. Well no, more of a rash move. I haven't kept track of anything majickal, save a few important things, in quite a while.
I've realized I can't just shut that part of me off. It's part of me. So as of late, I've been trying to bring it back. It's been damn hard! I tucked it so neatly away that it doesn't want to come back. Being in Po-town certainly doesn't help. Sure it's surging with the technomagicks that Remy would love and the power IS there but I feel so removed from nature that it's hard to connect.
With the little bit I've done I've tried to get in touch with old contacts, beings that used to keep me supplied with fresh info. Most of them have dried up. The few that will talk to me, only want to talk about the past. I feel like a dried up hero. I guess I kind of am.
So thats where I am. Getting back into the groove. Stretching unused muscles.
I shut myself down for a large part after our last adventure. I'm tired of saving the world. I'm tired of being the tool behind the close calls and lucky breaks. In short, I'm tired of failing college because we're all going to die. So I shut myself down. Bad move. Well no, more of a rash move. I haven't kept track of anything majickal, save a few important things, in quite a while.
I've realized I can't just shut that part of me off. It's part of me. So as of late, I've been trying to bring it back. It's been damn hard! I tucked it so neatly away that it doesn't want to come back. Being in Po-town certainly doesn't help. Sure it's surging with the technomagicks that Remy would love and the power IS there but I feel so removed from nature that it's hard to connect.
With the little bit I've done I've tried to get in touch with old contacts, beings that used to keep me supplied with fresh info. Most of them have dried up. The few that will talk to me, only want to talk about the past. I feel like a dried up hero. I guess I kind of am.
So thats where I am. Getting back into the groove. Stretching unused muscles.
(no subject)
Oh my my, look at the place, it's gone to pot... so sad.
Anyone got something fun to report?
Anyone got something fun to report?
On Recent Wierdness...
What follows is wierd, unbelivable occulty-bit stuff. Keep that in mind...
( The InfectionCollapse )
( InvestigationCollapse )
( FearCollapse )
( The Battle of MidHudsonCollapse )
( ForgivenessCollapse )
Damn, that was long. Took me two nights to write that. Now, now we'll work on returning to a normal LJ schedule.
( The InfectionCollapse )
( InvestigationCollapse )
( FearCollapse )
( The Battle of MidHudsonCollapse )
( ForgivenessCollapse )
Damn, that was long. Took me two nights to write that. Now, now we'll work on returning to a normal LJ schedule.
(no subject)
ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. ITS THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, AND I FEEL FINE.
why is it that when the world is safe and proper everyone goes around saying that the world is ending, yet, when the world really is starting to spiral towards hell (used as metaphor) nobody notices/cares. that confuses the fuck out of me.
why is it that when the world is safe and proper everyone goes around saying that the world is ending, yet, when the world really is starting to spiral towards hell (used as metaphor) nobody notices/cares. that confuses the fuck out of me.
weirdness is happening
Yes, it sems that things are weird again here. Prospect Park is all fuckered up, in ways I can't entirely describe. Part of the depression I had yesterday was due to the fact that I wanted to go to the park, but knew I shouldn't go alone, but didn't know why. So I was stuck in here, because if I'd gone outside, there is nowhere else I would have gone to. Remy got homw, we walked, and aside from teh creepy abandoned camps, I was starting to feel better the figher we got, until the highest of the former roads, just below the stairs that lead to the real road and the cleared top part of the park. I did *not* want to go up there, as it felt dirty. Looked it too, but that's mostly just the snowbanks still melting. Getting to the top, Nothing felt connected right, like the ley lines that used to connect there got broken, or twisted, or something. Not really sure. Remy started getting depressed there, I was getting something like scared. Especially when I thought he had followed me over to a tree, because I heard the footsteps coming over, and when I came out from behind it, there was no Remy. I looked some more, and there was still no Remy. Started to freak out, and still no Remy, and I walked a little farther, he stepped out from behind a tree, and scared the shit out of me. I wasn't sure if it was him, because the colors looked all wrong. Wasn't sure if it was his colors that were off, or those of the park, but something was not right. The whole place smelled like an attic, stuffy and musty like it had been shut up for ages, which is not a normal smell for an outside area. Not for any season, in the open, on the highest point of an area, where the wind does go, especially not in the spring where it generally smells like mud and earth. And like green. I'm going back today, though I don't really know why. But I do know more or less now what I'll be facing, not that it's mcuh consolation. Now just have to find the reason.
And I'm wondering if the dreams I posted yesterday have any sort of significance. ( http://www.livejournal.com/users/d… ) They could just be an oddness, but they were as vivid as actually living the experience. (Ever dreamed an entire life and woken up really confused as to where you are, why, when, and why you aren't still dead? It's really odd.) Remy's interested in the gloves. I have more interest in the little kid, though the gloves were of import as well. As were the pictures that Byron did. THe two were connected, though not as an immediate continuation. They were separated by about a century, and continuity was only represented in the clothing, I think. Maybe.
And I'm wondering if the dreams I posted yesterday have any sort of significance. ( http://www.livejournal.com/users/d… ) They could just be an oddness, but they were as vivid as actually living the experience. (Ever dreamed an entire life and woken up really confused as to where you are, why, when, and why you aren't still dead? It's really odd.) Remy's interested in the gloves. I have more interest in the little kid, though the gloves were of import as well. As were the pictures that Byron did. THe two were connected, though not as an immediate continuation. They were separated by about a century, and continuity was only represented in the clothing, I think. Maybe.
(no subject)
Humanity has declared war on Love, and now it is time to return fire. Battle lines are being drawn, soldiers are moving into position, and at this moment, there is little hope for either side. In pitched battle, Humanity will push love out of its borders, save for the stragglers, refugees, and the hidden victims. And once it has been pushed out?
Humanity will wither and die.
A sad, slow death, tragic in that it was so easily avoided, yet so hard to bring to pass. Tragic in that the hope of virtue was perverted by the wrong virtues.
This moment isn't a cusp that will bring about an obvious change of events. If we survive this, if love is not pushed from us, we can slowly heal.
Otherwise?
Death.
Humanity will wither and die.
A sad, slow death, tragic in that it was so easily avoided, yet so hard to bring to pass. Tragic in that the hope of virtue was perverted by the wrong virtues.
This moment isn't a cusp that will bring about an obvious change of events. If we survive this, if love is not pushed from us, we can slowly heal.
Otherwise?
Death.
(no subject)
Dude... what sort of twit makes a community and doesn't join it?
A Remy sort of twit apparently.
Another note on Rayvn's post, I did a reading, and there was similarity (Using the Alice in Wonderland deck), especially in the call for a feminine influence. Also, this situation calls for organized, grounded, and confident occultists (is there such a thing?), which kinda seems to resonate with the need for sharing techniques and information.
A Remy sort of twit apparently.
Another note on Rayvn's post, I did a reading, and there was similarity (Using the Alice in Wonderland deck), especially in the call for a feminine influence. Also, this situation calls for organized, grounded, and confident occultists (is there such a thing?), which kinda seems to resonate with the need for sharing techniques and information.
saturday night tarot
-crossposted in my own journal and in 
pooonarmageddon
it's been at least a year, i think, since i last touched my tarot decks; i've been meaning to, since the reading posted here last week (i think) by
deliriumcrow, start using them again, both to bring back my skills as well as to hope to shed some light on the current state of affairs. after thinking about it each night during the last few days and not actually doing anything, tonight i finally pulled out my decks and asked for some input.
decks used... vertigo (primary) and voyager (secondary).
anyway... my goal was to try to get a sense of both the physical happenings as well as the spiritual, and some of what came out made a lot of sense, and some of it didn't make sense at all. and i found that as i went over the cards, the parts which made the most sense were the parts that i found the hardest to put words to; as if i KNEW what was being said, but couldn't SAY it, if that makes any sense.
so we'll do this in two parts: first, what's in store for the physical realm.
the general sense of the reading is that war is on its way. this wouldn't be too hard to discern from reading the news and watching tv, but i think that it's going to be worse than our dear leaders imagine. however, i also don't feel that it's going to be of a catastrophic, end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-fee
also, they're (the powers that be) missing something - as if all the pieces have been lined up but one of them has been left out, and in looking at it further, the thing that's been left out appears to be, well, the name of the card itself - temperance. what all of this adds up to, in my interpretation, is that the whole war "thing" has taken on a life of its own, to the point where there's no viable way out of it for either side even if they wanted out. remember the cuban missile crisis, ultimately solved via back-channel communications which allowed the situation to be defused without either side losing face? neither side really wanted war, but they had pushed their mutual brinksmanship so far that publically backing down simply wasn't an option. and that, i think, is what we've got here. the only difference is that there doesn't seem to be that avenue of back-channel communication. curious, i went further, looking to see if there would be any way to avoid mass bloodshed, and parts of this section didn't make sense. the cards which came up were the high priestess and the ace of worlds (which i believe is the ace of pentacles in a more traditional deck). it didn't make sense because i got the feeling that there would be some sort of strong female character involved in the process, but as i run through the list of known world leaders that are female, i couldn't think of anyone that would fit. the only prominent female that's at all involved in this situation that i'm aware of is condoleeza rice, and somehow i can't imagine that she'd be of the mind to tell shrubya that war isn't the answer. that being said, i also got the impression that if war in this world is to be avoided, there's only one real shot at it and everything has to work out properly.
anyway, one of my cats is now sleeping on the other half of the reading, and i don't know if he's doing this because he's tired or he has some input, but from the spritual side, the cards suggest that the war has already started. much of this part of the reading also fit under what i said earlier, where i felt like i knew what was being said but couldn't really wrap words around it. but although it feels that the war has already begun, it doesn't seem that escalation and spread is automatic. but something (entity?) which had been contained is now in the process (not completed, though) of removing those constraints, coming out of its cell or cage or cave or box or whatever, and if it does manage to get out, the shit is going to hit the fan. and in order to keep that from happening, there's going to be a need for, for lack of better words, some serious mojo. i don't know how better to put it than that - there needs to be sharing of information, sharing of techniques, development of new techniques and resurrection of old, forgotten skills. and most importantly, alliances between groups and individuals which traditionally haven't seen eye-to-eye. the final card which came up in the "how to keep the shit from hitting the fan" section was the eight of cups (probably insignificant aside here: there is a large "E" on this card in the lower-left corner - which, for those of you who don't know, happens to be my first initial - whether or not this is a message specifically to me that i need to get off my ass or just an irrelevant coincidence, i don't know) in the vertigo deck, which i have a bitch of a time interpreting, and since i don't have the book anywhere near by, i'll have to leave that as an exercise for the reader.
that's it. maybe some of this will cause an idea bulb to turn on for somebody, or maybe not. after all, as i said, it's been a long time since the cards and i have chatted. we should do so more often. 5am, time to sleep.
pooonarmageddonit's been at least a year, i think, since i last touched my tarot decks; i've been meaning to, since the reading posted here last week (i think) by
deliriumcrow, start using them again, both to bring back my skills as well as to hope to shed some light on the current state of affairs. after thinking about it each night during the last few days and not actually doing anything, tonight i finally pulled out my decks and asked for some input.decks used... vertigo (primary) and voyager (secondary).
anyway... my goal was to try to get a sense of both the physical happenings as well as the spiritual, and some of what came out made a lot of sense, and some of it didn't make sense at all. and i found that as i went over the cards, the parts which made the most sense were the parts that i found the hardest to put words to; as if i KNEW what was being said, but couldn't SAY it, if that makes any sense.
so we'll do this in two parts: first, what's in store for the physical realm.
the general sense of the reading is that war is on its way. this wouldn't be too hard to discern from reading the news and watching tv, but i think that it's going to be worse than our dear leaders imagine. however, i also don't feel that it's going to be of a catastrophic, end-of-the-world-as-we-know-it-and-i-fee
also, they're (the powers that be) missing something - as if all the pieces have been lined up but one of them has been left out, and in looking at it further, the thing that's been left out appears to be, well, the name of the card itself - temperance. what all of this adds up to, in my interpretation, is that the whole war "thing" has taken on a life of its own, to the point where there's no viable way out of it for either side even if they wanted out. remember the cuban missile crisis, ultimately solved via back-channel communications which allowed the situation to be defused without either side losing face? neither side really wanted war, but they had pushed their mutual brinksmanship so far that publically backing down simply wasn't an option. and that, i think, is what we've got here. the only difference is that there doesn't seem to be that avenue of back-channel communication. curious, i went further, looking to see if there would be any way to avoid mass bloodshed, and parts of this section didn't make sense. the cards which came up were the high priestess and the ace of worlds (which i believe is the ace of pentacles in a more traditional deck). it didn't make sense because i got the feeling that there would be some sort of strong female character involved in the process, but as i run through the list of known world leaders that are female, i couldn't think of anyone that would fit. the only prominent female that's at all involved in this situation that i'm aware of is condoleeza rice, and somehow i can't imagine that she'd be of the mind to tell shrubya that war isn't the answer. that being said, i also got the impression that if war in this world is to be avoided, there's only one real shot at it and everything has to work out properly.
anyway, one of my cats is now sleeping on the other half of the reading, and i don't know if he's doing this because he's tired or he has some input, but from the spritual side, the cards suggest that the war has already started. much of this part of the reading also fit under what i said earlier, where i felt like i knew what was being said but couldn't really wrap words around it. but although it feels that the war has already begun, it doesn't seem that escalation and spread is automatic. but something (entity?) which had been contained is now in the process (not completed, though) of removing those constraints, coming out of its cell or cage or cave or box or whatever, and if it does manage to get out, the shit is going to hit the fan. and in order to keep that from happening, there's going to be a need for, for lack of better words, some serious mojo. i don't know how better to put it than that - there needs to be sharing of information, sharing of techniques, development of new techniques and resurrection of old, forgotten skills. and most importantly, alliances between groups and individuals which traditionally haven't seen eye-to-eye. the final card which came up in the "how to keep the shit from hitting the fan" section was the eight of cups (probably insignificant aside here: there is a large "E" on this card in the lower-left corner - which, for those of you who don't know, happens to be my first initial - whether or not this is a message specifically to me that i need to get off my ass or just an irrelevant coincidence, i don't know) in the vertigo deck, which i have a bitch of a time interpreting, and since i don't have the book anywhere near by, i'll have to leave that as an exercise for the reader.
that's it. maybe some of this will cause an idea bulb to turn on for somebody, or maybe not. after all, as i said, it's been a long time since the cards and i have chatted. we should do so more often. 5am, time to sleep.
(no subject)
Hey, folks.
So... last night, the uhm, fellows Nick is talking about below came to visit me (there's power in a name, so I'm not going to call them anything), as soon as I mentioned them to a... girl friend (if not girlfriend)... of mine (yes, Mr. Porter, the girl from Jersey q:). Apparently, they came after her, too. She nearly panicked, and Hell, so did I. She's a little more quick-thinking than I, though, and also a little more sensitive. I'll put up the transcript:
Snowspeder: Heh. I'm pretty much limited to "Hey, you're feeling like utter crap but you're hiding it extremely well"
(Deirdre): heh
Snowspeder: And sometimes I can feel the Watchers Jeremy talks about.
(Deirdre): please don't say that
Snowspeder: ?
(Deirdre): when you said that I felt really afraid and paniced
Snowspeder: That's them.
(Deirdre): stop
(Deirdre): please
(Deirdre): I'm really scared
Snowspeder: So... how about the weather?
Snowspeder: ::nods::
(Deirdre): it's ok now
(Deirdre): they're stupid
(Deirdre): I know what you're talking about
Snowspeder: It's not ok.
(Deirdre): trust me, it's ok
(Deirdre): they can't hurt you
Snowspeder: No, but they're still frightening.
(Deirdre): the only thing they can do is make you afriad
Snowspeder: ... you're reminding me of someone I know.
(Deirdre): you know, what they're afraid of, right?
Snowspeder: No, and I'd really like to know..
(Deirdre): love
(Deirdre): it's easy
Snowspeder: ... that explains a lot.
(Deirdre): just think of something beautiful
(Deirdre): they'll scream and nash their teeth and try to scare you
(Deirdre): but if you just remember something beautiful, everything goes away
Snowspeder: thanks
(Deirdre): it's ok *hugs*
Snowspeder: I should tell Jeremy about that..
I don't know if this really was a visit by what's been causing trouble, but it was definitely the thing that's been causing me... almost panic attacks, sometimes. But as soon as I thought of something beautiful like she said (kittens in my case, because I'm a weirdo), the hold on my mind dissipated. They came back several times over the course of the night, but the kitties in my head held them off. I think they're mad at me now... fuck 'em.
So... last night, the uhm, fellows Nick is talking about below came to visit me (there's power in a name, so I'm not going to call them anything), as soon as I mentioned them to a... girl friend (if not girlfriend)... of mine (yes, Mr. Porter, the girl from Jersey q:). Apparently, they came after her, too. She nearly panicked, and Hell, so did I. She's a little more quick-thinking than I, though, and also a little more sensitive. I'll put up the transcript:
Snowspeder: Heh. I'm pretty much limited to "Hey, you're feeling like utter crap but you're hiding it extremely well"
(Deirdre): heh
Snowspeder: And sometimes I can feel the Watchers Jeremy talks about.
(Deirdre): please don't say that
Snowspeder: ?
(Deirdre): when you said that I felt really afraid and paniced
Snowspeder: That's them.
(Deirdre): stop
(Deirdre): please
(Deirdre): I'm really scared
Snowspeder: So... how about the weather?
Snowspeder: ::nods::
(Deirdre): it's ok now
(Deirdre): they're stupid
(Deirdre): I know what you're talking about
Snowspeder: It's not ok.
(Deirdre): trust me, it's ok
(Deirdre): they can't hurt you
Snowspeder: No, but they're still frightening.
(Deirdre): the only thing they can do is make you afriad
Snowspeder: ... you're reminding me of someone I know.
(Deirdre): you know, what they're afraid of, right?
Snowspeder: No, and I'd really like to know..
(Deirdre): love
(Deirdre): it's easy
Snowspeder: ... that explains a lot.
(Deirdre): just think of something beautiful
(Deirdre): they'll scream and nash their teeth and try to scare you
(Deirdre): but if you just remember something beautiful, everything goes away
Snowspeder: thanks
(Deirdre): it's ok *hugs*
Snowspeder: I should tell Jeremy about that..
I don't know if this really was a visit by what's been causing trouble, but it was definitely the thing that's been causing me... almost panic attacks, sometimes. But as soon as I thought of something beautiful like she said (kittens in my case, because I'm a weirdo), the hold on my mind dissipated. They came back several times over the course of the night, but the kitties in my head held them off. I think they're mad at me now... fuck 'em.
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cheerful
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