__im a poetic emo

exercising
the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

calculating
the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

leaving
the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy

so are you just gonna stand there
like yesterday
just lingering there feeling today
yielding the night as endlessly as before
without even trying to knock on my door

are you finally aware of me
behind these incessant façade of queries
are you finally gonna stay here
or are you gonna runaway
like everyone …
and their misconception of fairy tales
that ends happily ever after
that starts perfectly forever and ever

are you just gonna fit in there
behind the shadow of the night
beneath the stars of the coming twilight
dreaming of her instead of me tonight

are you just gonna let this be
another escaping melody
another time to say a swift good bye
another moment to take away the realms of the sky
without ever standing beside me in your arms tonight

are you?
will you?

oh thank you so much
for being so uninspiring
for bridging life and ending
so close to my threshold
like your heart is my falling scaffold

oh thank you so much
for being so uninviting
like you never did anything
but an endless time of luring…
to bait me
so slowly
to need you
when im not supposed to

oh thank you so much
for love and its wonders
for life and its marvels
to long for you
when im not meant to
and to be meant for you
when im not supposed to

thank you so much
for love above anything
for time in the end of endings
for life in the moment of everything
for everything, for everything, for everything…

i know a place
where the sun is a mess
and the skies are delightfully gray
and sirens paint the day
i know this place
where the world is fine
where the seas are impossibly blue
where ive always belonged to you…

but you don’t, but you don’t

i know a scene
from a long forgotten dream
when you smiled so enchantingly
and i laughed non-cynically
i know this scene
long before ive stopped to dream
long before ive stopped to believe
that youll never ever leave…

and you did, and you did

i know that place long before today
when your memory starts to fade
and the tears started to dissipate
for i have entirely forgotten you…

but i don’t, but i don’t
and you did, and you did

i know a place
where the sun is a mess
and the skies are delightfully gray
and sirens paint the day
i know this place
where the world is fine
where the seas are impossibly blue
where ive always belonged to you…

but you don’t, but you don’t

i know a scene
from a long forgotten dream
when you smiled so enchantingly
and i laughed non-cynically
i know this scene
long before ive stopped to dream
long before ive stopped to believe
that youll never ever leave…

and you did, and you did

i know that place long before today
when your memory starts to fade
and the tears started to dissipate
for i have entirely forgotten you…

but i don’t, but i don’t
and you did, and you did

swooning under the carpet
of love and not love
of emotions and none emotions
crashing under the rug of desire
or faltering under the feet of denial

fumbling all over
your heart so full of carelessness
of stepping out or being stepped at
of being conscious or being ridiculous
of love and the so-called love
of you yesterday and of you now
i wonder whom did i loved the most somehow

between love and hatred
of being impassioned or angered
i wonder how i ever made it
in times and in places
between right and wrong
i swoon underneath the mat
of love and not love
of being in love and being in love with you

wondering ... wondering
if you are
as sincere as cheating
as gallant as whining
as kind as lying
as valiant as hiding

wondering ... wondering
if love is
as furious as hatred
as scarlet as death
as fervent as bluntness
as plain as everyday

wondering
wondering

a new sense of feeling
a new sense of missing
from impulse to this fleeting feeling
of excitement
of estrangement
to you finally
to you eventually

hopefully
hopefully

a new sense of relief
a new sense of flight
from careless air
to blissful winds
shared together from freshness
to slumber
dreaming of you and i
together
together

hopefully
hopefully

a new sense of feeling
a new sense of being
i had with you
so suddenly
so impulsively
from you
from you all along
now i’m never gonna be on my own
hopefully
eventually

hopefully
hopefully

moving forth
ahead...
secretly hurting
deep inside
youve let me down
"have the ships been long gone?"

no looking back
just breathing ahead
have you let my hands go?
i cant feel your heart anymore

i am lost
this world is too big without you
ill drown
my heart will succumb
stay for a while
i cant say goodbye

facing ahead
tears against the wind
tomorrows too blinding
all things sinking
slipping
dreaming
away from me
can you stay for a while
until i can say goodbye?