woah lj still exists. <3cooper </3 homework
does anyone know how to get in touch with kelly zutrau? since we're going to college together id wanna talk to her
dear shelly, that's bullshit and you know it is. considering the fact that i apparently lose every fight for everything iv ever cared about. and i didnt think this was so much to ask for. but i guess it is. senior year sucks. from, shelly
dear shelly, anything that's truly worth having is also worth fighting for. get over yourself. learn to not be sorry for taking up space. MOVE. from, shelly
these past two days have been unbelievably beautiful. they've also been insanely dramaful and stupid. i dont want to get into it, but this just doesnt feel worth it. any of it. and i cant even look forward to next year becase i dont trust myself to succeed at college. iv forgotten how it feels to know things teachers are talking about. i cant do homework anymore. im terrified that i wont be able to get into gear by the time school starts. and that on top of this whole shitload of drama is pushing me past my breaking point.
hm. lots of drama/bullshit going on that i dont really wanna post online. in any case, im glad its over, even if its maybe not the outcome i was going for.
cooper union cashed the check....im really going there! :-D im insane with happiness, and also driving myself crazy from nervousness. but for the moment, im really happy.
everything just seems to be ok right now. ok in a good way though...not the ok you tell people when you're upset and dont wanna tell them. a good ok.
so i was talking to michelle huber the other day and i found out that ill be going to college with kelly zutrau, and at first i was really excited. then i realized i havent talked to kelly since 2003. and we havent been close at all since 2002. and i guess i sort of forgot just how long its been since iv been at camp, or talking to camp people. i talked to michelle the other day. i instant messaged briefly with alice. why do i feel like i have to validate these friendships? why does it take so much effort to just pick up a phone when i know that i want to talk to them? iv lately not made any effort to see anyone-not even the people that i live near. im worried that im letting my relationships with everyone go. i need to stop that before college. like, now. anyways. thats it.
i thought id feel differently about this. but im still ok. not gonna lie, its probly just cuz im still floating from cooper union. but either way, for my last summer home i should probly spend it right there...at home. yeah i applied for jhc staff and didnt get it. but from what iv heard...staff is gonna be amazing, and im hoping to come up and visit at some point...so good luck to everyone and have a really good session!
