BOOMBASTIC

I made my other journal. I most likely added you. If you asked me, I totally did. I added you probably even if you haven't asked me yet.

Take a gander at your "Friend Of" page until you see the scary mystery scandal name.


Then you KNOW you're coolio.


Ta!
PInchi

I'm ditching this journal. Comment if you want to be added in my next one.



-Mary

Majestic.




NOT NOT NOT NOT Majestic.


Fuck the new Brawny guy.



Ta!
Pinchi

IF I COULD SAY SOME STUFF TO SOME PEOPLE, HERE'S WHAT I WOULD SAY TO...

Johnny Depp:"You even look hot with that horseshoe haircut. Leave off the pirate gear."

Orlando Bloom: "You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?"

Daniel Radcliffe:"You're fucking 14? Oh well...let's make out anyway."

Richard Thomas: "What is that thing on your face?"

Quentin Tarantino:"Get a hypodermic needle and inject me with your blood. NOW."

Al Pacino: "Stop yelling."

Naomi Watts: "You're the most beautiful woman in the world."

Elijah Wood: "Grow your fucking hair back."

Simon Cowell: "You can't justify an $800 haircut to me."

Madonna: "Pretty fly for a white guy."

Uma Thurman: "If you came into my house and crapped on my floor, I'd still want to have intense sexual relations with you."

Chiaki Kuriyama: "Can I take you home with me? You're just precious!"

John Travolta: "Stop looking like me."

Tim Allen: "Where are you, anyway?"

Jennifer Lopez: "Cunt."

Keisha Castle-Hughes: "Screw Chiaki, you're cuter."

Adrien Brody: "Thanks for the multiple orgasms."

Mick Jagger:"Remember those silver pants you wore in the video for 'Hot Stuff'? I want those."

Jack Kerouac:"------"

Elton John: "'Levon' is the greatest song in the world."

Grub Smith: "Impregnate me."

Conan O'Brien:"May I touch your candy-like hair? Your loft?"

Ashton Kutcher"You killed my fucking cat, cat-killer."

Ahhhhnold: "I like you alot."

Andy Dick "I would do anything, anything- ANYTHING to get high with you."

Hieronymus Bosch: "Can you hear me?"

Oblio & Arrow: "You got a point there!"

Mike Nelson: "I will rid the world of leafblowers, Jim Morrison, Mason Reese, codpeices and skin cream just for you. More recumbent bicycles and pants!"

Marty Feldman: "With my love."

Christopher Guest: "You kinda looked hot in a kilt."

Christopher Walken: "My brain smells like bacon and I love cats too."

Benicio Del Toro:"Try opening your mouth a little wider when you speak."

Roger Daltrey:"Remember when you had dignity?"

Richard Simmons:"GAAAAWWD I want to hug you."

Seth MacFarlane: "Holy crap, I'm black!"



I guess I should stop now.


Ta!
Pinchi

bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang!



I love you Mike





Ta!
Pinchi

WHEN YOU THINK "Madonna", what do you think? Material Girl? Indian Priestess? Brooklyn Badgirl? Regular Fuck Machine?

Well, in honour of the fact that she's been all of these things, and has recently changed her name to Esther, I've decided to take a peek at The Nationalities Of Madonna Ciccone.



Um....no.

Here's the list, folks, in no particular order.

1. Brooklynite
2. Indian high priestess
3. Cowgirl from Texas
4. Chinese geisha
5. Gothic
6. Pimp
7. Stateswoman
8. All American gal
9. Scottish
10. Japanese
11. Victorian
12. Bible figure
13. Marilyn Monroe
14. German S&M diva
15. Italian
16. British (with phony accent!)
17. Spanish
18. French
19. LA chick
20. Lesbian
21. Flapper
22. Yoga
23. Junkie
24. Jewish
25. Rapper
26. Army Sargeant

And I am sure that there are many, many more but I would be here all night if I thought of them all.

So, Madonna...you are NONE of these things. Why do you try to be something you're not? I think it's extremely insulting to see you on MTV doing your "Ohm Shanti" song, with full henna and headress like you're some ancient Buddhist/Hindu preistess.

But you're not, Madonna. You're just some trashy girl from Michigan (MICHIGAN! DO YOU HEAR ME?! MICHIGAN!!!!) and you're not "reinventing your style". You're a wannabe so quit it. You're annoying us.

I loved your British accent at the MTV Awards..."Oi'd loike tow thaink Jownhas Ooooukerland fooh the dih-rection ov muy videowh."

Get a life, Madonna. I REFUSE to call you "Esther" and I think the fact that your new children's book is entitled, "Yakov & The Seven Thieves" makes you eligible for a tarring and feathering.


Just die, Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone. Just plain old die.

Q:How would Guy Ritchie explain his feelings towards Madonna?

A: Bubbleyum.



Thanks Quentin.


Ta!
Pinchi

FOR SOME REASON I dreampt that actor Roberto Benigni died last night (in my backyard).





Given that moviescriptend predicted the death of Ronald Reagan with a dream, I am having (hopeful?) thoughts that my dream might actually happen. But not in my backyard.


Roberto Benigni is really starting to irritate me. Really. I guess when he made the mistake of being in that Pinnochio mov-ay, he began to get on my nerves as the attention-seeking Italian. Way uncool.

La Vita E Bella was a good flick but seeing as Johnny Stecchino was weirdio and The Son Of The Pink Panther was totally uneccasary I'm kind of hoping that dream will come true. During Pink Panther I was waiting for Kato to come and kick the crap out of him. I don't think it happened. Peter Sellers must be rolling in his grave.

Not to mention his attention-whoreish performance at the Oscars. You know what? Let's just get rid of him. Break his kneecaps. Chop him up. Whatever it takes! Let's do it! It could be like a community project.


Ta!
Pinchi

HERE'S A LOOK at some of the country's favourite celebs...just as they should be looked at!


1. Britney Spears:

2.Pamela Anderson:

3.Christina Aguilera:

And, for the stinger, I've chosen a celebrity that I hate more than anything, a celebrity who is a stinky fartface.

4.JENNIFER LOPEZ!!!:



Ooooh mama!


Where's my beauty Naomi Watts when you need her???



And she still looks hot. I still want her.





COMING SOON: The Hot Women Of Hollywood!

Ta!
Pinchi

Well, The Olsen Twins are legal today, and I guess I should join everyone else in jerking off (with my invisible penis) to their pictures and not feel like a pedophile about it...


WHAT AM I SAYING?! You people who want to screw the Olsen Twins because they JUST turned 18 remember the days when they looked like this...







You sick Michael Jacksons (or Paula Poundstones).



Ta!
Pinchi

Good bye cruel world, you've made worm's meat of me. Adieu, adieu. Remember me.





Ta!
Pinchi