For anyone wondering about the legendary Peaches, that's 'im whoring it up with my girls K-dog (the one who's glaring at his using her leg as an armrest) and Jessica. See how he's kissing her? This girl is the one person he loathes the most. It's awesome.
I've been quiet lately, which is funny because I've had a lot to say. Not that I can think of any of it now.
New Year's was nice and quiet. We practically fell asleep. But I made shortbread and cider and it was perfect.
Work has quieted down immensely now that Christmas is over. I am enjoying the time to think and goof off. In fact, I have so far spent this week standing at the desk with literally nothing to do. Consequently, Kariana and I have developed things to do. We learned how to shrink-wrap things. Adam will rue the day. When he rejected a wrapped piece of styrofoam, we wrapped a piece of candy, his prided stickerball, and the highlighter he hates people using. We then set up on his desk every single item in the store that had to do with peaches, the nickname we have given him. Books, Manga, CDs, even foot scrub. We couldn't use anything from the cafe cause it had to be refrigerated. But when he got to work the next morning, his desk was covered with stuff about peaches. Muahaha. We wanted to wrap the flashlight he has to use Tuesday mornings, but I get off work before he does Monday night. It might melt the flashlight anyway. In any case, we have now sponsored a real-life baby snow leopard in Adam's name, in memory of the stuffed one he had as a kid and "kind of misses." Since he refuses to tell me what its name was, we named it Momotaro, a famous figure in Japan whose name literally mean "Peach Boy." Perfect. Adam is so moody and contrary at work, but I gave him a ride the other night and he was super chatty. I am now kicking myself for not asking him more probing questions, as I could probably have gotten anything out of him. Like the name of his snow leopard, for instance. We also want to shrinkwrap a pyramid of peaches together and leave it on his desk.
I know. My job is superbly useful to American society. BUT I have applied for a paid summer internship in DC, so here's hoping. Failing that, I just might do the 6-month camp stint in Northern Ireland. But we'll see. I also have finally found the perfect grad school program, in Dublin. Well, too perfect, as there are two perfect programs and I can't decide which one to do first. But I have to apply by the end of June for the 2009 school year, so I better get on that pros and cons list!
So I have at least 6 more months at Borders. Around Christmas, there was no way I wanted to be a supervisor, but now that it's dead again I think I can handle it. It's up to Tim though if it's worth training me for a 6 month stint.
Oh yeah! I'm getting new glasses! They're awesome, bright green and orange temples. Downside: my fabulous insurance only pays 75 dollars. So I got to pay another $612. I'm thrilled, obviously. There goes all my savings and that much again. At least they are a good investment, I mean, you can't go wrong with being able to see. According to my optometrist, I am legally blind, and in terms of 20/20 vision I am like 20/1000. This strikes me as disgusting. Ah well, very expensive glasses can fix all! That's why there are so much, I opted for the expensive super-thin lenses, because with my prescription, normal lenses would be like an inch thick. I'm a freak.
That's about it. Sismis finally figured out how to get off the table, so we've blocked off the kitchen and shut the doors so she can have free range of the living room. She's much happier. She spent some time sleeping in a blanket in a drawer under the couch, then ran to the top of the TV. I don't know what I am going to do when I go away for long periods of time. My only hope is they die before grad school. :(
Christmas Day was wonderful. I've decided not to celebrate it anymore, but it's fun all the same. And think of my kids, with Hanukkah with one family, Christmas with another, Solstice with Mom, New Year's with me. That will be cool. We had a nice festive time up by Tahoe. I got monies and Trent made me this awesome teddy bear. It's dark green, has a little cape of leprechaun hats, and its face looks evil. I love the rules of picking a name out of a hat and having to hand make something; it's the only time I will ever get a 17-yr-old boy make me a teddy bear. I named him potoin, after the nasiest Irish moonshine. He's a cute evil bear. :)
Then we did Christmas with Steve, which was more rowdy because this one had alcohol (Tahoe party is all Mormons)! Now, I only hear Josh speak a couple of sentences a year, which are ridiculous things, but he says them very seriously. However, now I have finally seen him drunk. He screamed obsenities at Travis in a fight over who worked harder, made very perverse jokes and would suddenly start talking about when they were 7 or something. It was hilarious. Taylor seemed okay but just giggled a lot. We were having a good time and I didn't want to go but finally had to bail to get some sleep.
Wednesday drove home where I had a lovely time as usual. Aunt Debbie and Uncle Doug came to visit as well, and we had yummy food and funny stories (Dad's and Doug's conversations are legendarily hilarious), went to the local bar for some bluegrass, and ran around Mendocino, where Mom bought us matching Tibetan rings. Art galleries are hard for me; I find a million gorgeous, handmade things, none of which I could ever hope to afford. Someday, someday. Maybe not the $15,000 table, but perhaps the $80 yin and yang kitties.
Despite all this festive family fun, I'm devastated that Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. My cousin got to talk to her on the radio, so he called us to tell us. She was a fearless, energetic, and powerful woman, who unlike Condi or Thatcher, people actually liked. She truly loved Pakistan and wanted it to prosper and be peaceful. And now all that hope and promise is suddenly ended and we're stuck with this loser of a wannabe dictator. I get upset when I think about it. How is it that she died and Castro hangs on for centuries??
As far as my own quest for peace, Mom's now petulant about the plane ticket money and so Ireland's gonna be hard. I'm looking for something longer. There's a 3 month paid Red Cross internship in DC that I'm going to apply for. I can NOT stay in this job, I need to flee! Just got to find something better first, which is just *almost* impossible.
I swear to god, this "career path" thing is infuriating. I can't do this thing until I do this first, and I can't do THAT until I do this other thing...if I'm not careful, I'll find myself with an impossible string of things I have to do "first." And then I will be doing these things for 20 years and will never reach the end! Take for example the Rotary Language Scholarship, $10,000 to go learn a language for 6 months. Awesome, I'll learn Bosnian. Oh but no, that's not an option. Okay, how about Arabic? Ok, but you have to have a year's worth of that in college to apply. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT. If I had that, I wouldn't NEED your fucking program!
I am trying to stop swearing. Have to be good for the little kiddies at summer camp next year. I usually just say bugger or bollocks, but those are actual swear words there! I picked an extremely bad day to stop though. Yesterday, I was absolutely crazy psycho bitch. I could have killed someone with my bare hands if it wouldn't get me fired. I wanted to throw a book through a window, I wanted to slit Victoria's throat. The situation at work was just unacceptable. If we are expected to make $40,000 in one day, Tim needs to hire enough people to accomplish that. I have decided he is completely useless as a manager. The only thing he has done it seems is make a bunch of rules about what we can't do, but he will not allow us to actually do anything. All he does is make people tense when he is there.
And the major rant: Yesterday started with me looking for parking for a half an hour in 2 blocks. I decided I don't give a shit. Christmas is a useless, shitty holiday for me because I don't even believe in Jesus or God. I hate this goddamn country where people need to spend thousands of dollars because of this useless holiday, and flock to the stores at once so one goddamn employee just trying to make rent cannot physically get to work. I don't give a shit about the customers, or how much money we make, or the Christmas season. What I want is to move somewhere like Siberia where there are NO holidays, no consumerism, hell, no cars or people. I will become a hermit because our country absolutely disgusts me and I can't stand these people who should all be choked with their own credit cards and run over by Hummers. If I had any money, I would have quit today.
However. I have no money. I have no other job. Travis did want me to take a receptionist job and I blew up at him for suggesting such a thing...but now I think it sounds pretty good because holidays absolutely do not affect optometry. It would be the same every day. And I'd probably get paid more. But that does seem a step backwards. At least at Borders I can share some of my knowledge with people, where optometry literally has nothing to do with the college degree I worked so hard to get.
I just need to keep my sanity for a little longer.
Yesterday was a really good day. I got tons of stuff. A <3 Čevapi tank from my brother for xmas. A box of candy for Travis and I, gorgeous mermaid socks, and little stockings for my babies from Mom. An application for camp counselor in Northern Ireland for August!!! I'm so excited I'm shitting myself. No way can I wait 8 months, it's killing me! Woot! A visit from Tori and Brian's mommy at work. My favourite childhood paperback, Blitzcat came in! Got at used bookstore, friend borrowed and lost it, is out of print but finally bothered to order another now that I work at Borders and all. What if it's the same copy I had before? That would be cool. Tons of time at work to actually get stuff done. It was super quiet cause it rained and there's never parking, so I got my section all restocked, unpacked all my boxes and even got to put up Rewards cards numbers. And the store looked awesome when we left cause he had hours to shelve. I even had time to read some horribly prejudiced Onion article about airdropping emergency supplies of vowels into Bosnia so us Americans can read their city names. Ooh, and someone ordered a textbook to learn Bosnian so it's behind the registers until they pick it up...and I've been taking notes.
And now I get today off. To do what, I dunno. I guess dishes, since they're filling the kitchen, and wrap the rest of my xmas presents.
I think, for the first time since my early childhood, I actually like winter. Probably because I'm not COLD. I don't have to be in freezing-ass classrooms, walking around a freezing-ass campus, working in a freezing-ass store and living in a freezing-ass house. All I do is be here, where it is slightly above freezing, and I have blankets, and then go to work, where it is like a fucking sauna. I can't even wear long sleeves there, it's awful. I totally stripped to my tiny undershirt to unpack boxes yesterday or I would have probably passed out from heat stroke. Honestly, is that necessary?? I would at least like the option of wearing a long sleeved shirt!
Holy crap I am so goddamn impatient. There are no job openings and I WANT one, I want to move to Ireland now. I inquired about summer camp there for the summer and they haven't written me back. Adam is thinking SOMETHING and I just want to know what the fuck it is.
The travel bug has hit me again and I just feel the need to LEAVE. And I'm just sitting here and I'm so, so busy, but it's not enough.
Oh, and it's not my thyroid, and I'm not pregnant, and I'm not going to die, but my blood sugar is high. I take meds for a month and see what happens. I swear, if they told me I couldn't eat sugar, I would cry. For days.
So I went back to the doctor. Dizziness, acne, depression and missed periods=one sick little Pillbugg. A possibility but super rare are Addison's disease or brain tumour, so let's rule those out. I have a feeling it is all due to my birth control, so we're gonna get on that, wait a month and see. In the meantime though, it could also be a thyroid problem, so I get to go back at 8am tomorrow for a bunch of blood tests. Blah.
But today will be a day of much reading and I am happy. Especially since they just started playing The Who's Teenage Wasteland on the radio!
I did 2 bad things today. For one, I bought shirts at Aeropostale. Although, I guess I can live with it. At least it's not Hollister, AE or or A&F. Although I did see a sweater I loved at Hollister, a fuzzy snowflake one...but $60. Yes, I actually bought something at one of those stores. In my defense, they were supersoft and ten bucks. So I don't feel so bad. What's worse though, is that I bought stuff not because I had to have it, but because I thought someone would like it on me. That is a horrible, shallow, low-self-esteem reason to spend money. Especially since I know it won't work. I'm not his type, he's not my type, but unfortunately I've been trained to see what's on the inside of people and I like that part of him, but that is a part that he's not willing to give. I'm not sure if we'll ever really be real friends.
Anyway, I'm watching Breakfast On Pluto and *love* it. Love it so much I think I need to own it, and read the book too, and possibly own that as well. Cillian Murphy really is a genius. It's funny he looks like Sandra Bullock with braids. Although Liam Neeson as a priest is just wrong, he is way too manly and sexy to be off limits to women!
It was fun to shop though, despite how messed up I am. Good to get out of the house, since I didn't get up until noon. I switched with Kariana and so now work Sat instead of today, which means I get two days off in a row! That feels fantastic. I was going to go to Santa Cruz tomorrow, but although I would love to catch up with Edo, I think I need to save some driving, gas and money, and just chill at home. I'm reading a book called Tipperary, and could get a good bunch done tomorrow if I try.
