Acording to the Sculptor's instructions, as of today I no longer need to tape my nose at all (I forgot to last night – really), wear my glasses on that stupid hook on my forehead, or use the evil prescription shampoo. Actually, I think i'll use the shampoo one last time this morning.
I'm cleared to resume "all activities" except those that require a helmet, e.g. bicycling. So, I've got seven more weeks of walking a lot.
Here, once again, is the state of the face from top to bottom.
Top of scalp: still largely lacking sensation, but I think it's coming back around the incision.
Incision: mostly red, with maybe 1 cm of scabbing left. It's mostly flattened out, though, and the bruise-colored dimples are shrinking, fading, and disappearing.
Forehead: there's a small numb patch in the upper left corner, but otherwise everything looks and feels good.
The short-lived bruise-like patches that appeared variously below my eyes or on my right brow bone, depending on the day, have stopped appearing just in the last couple of days.
Nose: looking fantastic! The numbness from the tip to the base of the nostrils seems to be going away. I think there may be a little swelling left at the tip.
Lower gums: my tissue seems to have grown right over (!) all remaining threads.
Upper lip: it seems to have filled in a bit from the lift, which is perfect. The sagging at the corners of my mouth was a little alarming in the first two weeks, but it's mostly gone now.
There's some numbness from my upper lip to my chin, but that too seems to be going away.
Chin and jaw: right on.
But the takeaway here is that this has been a resounding success.
Edited to add: My glasses slipped down my nose before, but now they do it even more. Luckily, I live a short walk from where I got them, and they'll adjust them for me. Life in the big city.
I did indeed hit the Mercury for the second weekend in a row. M-the-artist, who is trans and whose work is in a show opening at Vermillion on Thursday for you locals, gave my face the stamp of approval. Gratifying.
I spent even more time this weekend doing stuff to move the Lambert House reception database away from Microsoft Access. (Ptui!) I did a complete data dump, but I didn't realize that the schema dump that I have is old and incomplete.
Mind you, "complete" in this case includes "features we no longer use or reimplemented". The sensible thing to do would be not to include those parts, but what I'm doing needs to be reproducible by someone who isn't me. As I sit here typing, I just realized that I can sort of have it both ways: tell my hapless successor to export the whole Access DB, but write my import script not to import certain tables. I should run this by the director first, natch.
Thank you all for being my rubber ducks.
Once I get the whole thing sucked into a SQLite DB, then comes the interesting part: seeing how long it takes to load into a modern browser. My guess is comfortably under five seconds based on a previous experiment with a much older version of the DB. Then the really fun part: writing the web pages.
Current Mood:excited
Current Music:The Steve Miller Band, "Fly Like An Eagle"
* Murderbot Season 1 won the Ray Bradbury Award For Outstanding Dramatic Presentation last night at the SFWA Nebula Awards! Congrats to Paul and Chris Weitz and everyone on the Murderbot cast and crew!!!
* Also N.K. Jemisin was made the SFWA 42nd Damon Knight Memorial Grandmaster at the same ceremony, and her speech was awesome! You can see it on YouTube here: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nmAxXj7-xxA&ra=m It's the first speech after Tananarive Due's toastmaster address.
As I've discussed in the past, US zoning laws tend to require huge amounts of parking. For offices a common ratio is 3 or 4 spaces per 1000 sqft of office; since parking lots use 330 sqft per parking space, that's 1000-1300 sqft parking per 1000 sqft office. Thus suburban office parks, of a one-story building surrounded by somewhat more parking.
Restaurant mandates are often wonkier so I've tended to pass over them, but for reasons I was doing some reading about restaurant sizes which led me back. Sometimes zoning does use floor space, like 1 parking space per 100 (hundred) sqft of gross area, or 1 per 50 sqft of dining area. Others go by number of seats, or legal customer capacity, and how much space did those take? I didn't know, but now I do.
I have to leave the house sometime. I sent myself downtown to pick up more black ink and paper for loon prints. On impulse, I leapt onto the #6 bus instead of the homeward vessel and rode out along Quadra through a sudden pelting rainstorm. Riding the bus suits my habitual (and currently intensified) feelings of displacement and liminality.
I got out at Royal Oak Shopping Centre, a disorientingly centreless mass of self-spawning plazas.
The attraction of the Royal Oak is the Smart Bookshop, a longstanding proper old-fashioned used bookstore. In the literature section, this unassuming black hardcover caught my eye:
I opened Mörder Guss Reims: The Gustave Leberwurst Manuscript (1981) to a random page and found a curiously over-annotated poem in German. I only glanced at the German, and I could not make sense of it, but the ratio of annotation to poem had a real Pale Fire shimmer. Sincere? In-? Either way, desirable.
I thought: yes, this is clearly the book I came in here for. I paid my $5 and left with it tucked into my bag.
I did not work out the trick, because I did not try sounding out the cod German. (Try it!)
Just now I web-searched and found out what sort of artefact this is. It is a remarkably poker-faced object in both design and presentation. However, the copyright page gives the game away:
Macaronic literature! Facetiae!
I do think this John Hulme must be a Nabokov fan. I have not yet been able to find out anything about him online, except that this seems to have been his Own Particular Genre. (I do not think he can be the contemporary author/director of the same name, since he would have had to publish this book at the age of 12.)
Good: I went to Lambert House to take the first steps in a major project for them. Go me.
Bad: spinifex23 and I missed each other. I didn't get his message until my train home had almost arrived.
Good: I picked up Fine Print vol. 3 on the way to the train. Quality porn in comics form.
Bad: I didn't go to Snohomish Pride. If you're doing it without a car as I would be, that's at least two hours each way. I just... no. I have too many other things to do.
Good: I paid my camp dues for )'(, which were surprisingly reasonable. Astro Shack has been placed at 8:30 & A, which I'm guessing will be louder than I'm used to. I'm ready, though: somewhere in a bin I have my construction worker's mufflers for sleeping.
Bad: What's a little spendy is getting one's windows cleaned. I don't have a ladder that can reach most of mine, and they haven't been cleaned on the outside since I moved in four years ago.
Plans: I took a look at my calendar, and I think I just might hit the Mercury two weekends in a row. All my other weekends this month (Hello, it's June) are spoken for. The 13th? Tacoma Girl. The 20th? Dancer. And then Pride weekend, which will feature Trans Pride, multiple outings to the Wildrose, the Siberian Siren and therefore Hot Flash at Neighbours, oh yeah the actual parade march, and who knows what else?
Loyal readers may remember that at my first place in Fujisawa, I had a Lawson downstairs that could pass for a grocery store, and I found this was unusual. Turns out there was more going on: Lawson has a side chain, "Lawson Store 100", of stores that have a wider set of groceries. Different name, different color on the logo. I learned of this yesterday. And voila! That Lawson was indeed a Store 100. ( Read more... )
Tangentially, I bought beer tonight from a vending machine out on the street. No age check.
The circuit breaker for the stove tripped three times yesterday. I heard some kind of construction or maintenance involving big, electric machines yesterday during business hours. I think that's evidence that there are ground bounces coming from outside the house. Oy. Calling an electrician is the only thing I can think of to do.
I skipped a munch at the Wildrose last night. My feet were blistered from all my walking, and honestly, I just wasn't feeling it. Plus, the usual organizer was taking a break, and I’ve recently seen how that works out.
My son woke me up at 0520 with jumpenflappen. He didn't believe me that he'd been doing it, but he did believe his Fitbit. Le sigh.
I want to talk about something that’s about to happen, but first, let me say something very clearly up front, and read this, because it’s important:
I AM NOT A FINANCIAL ADVISOR. THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE. NO WARRANTY OF ANY KIND IS EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED. ANY ACTIONS YOU TAKE IN RESPONSE TO THIS POST ARE ENTIRELY TAKEN AT YOUR OWN RISK.
There. Now, let’s get into it.
For the last, oh… forty, fifty years, there has been a quiet bargain amongst Wall Street, the markets, and people who have 401(k)s and IRAs, and a common piece of advice that falls out of it.
That advice has been that if you don’t want to be an active investor, if you don’t want to have basically a whole ‘nother job researching companies, markets, and so on, you should put your money in some kind of index fund pinned to some segment of the stock market as a whole.
That might be a foreign assets fund. It might be a technology fund. It more likely might be a Dow Jones Industrial Average fund, or an S&P 500 fund, where the market manager keeps the fund invested in the set of stocks that make up the S&P 500. It might be a NASDAQ 100 fund, run the same way. They’ve called it “investing in the American economy,” or “investing in America,” or “set and forget” investing.
It’s been a simple and good bargain. “You give us your money, we’ll have averages that make sense, and have a lot of rules to them – no additions of new companies that haven’t proven themselves, legitimate valuations, corporations with a history of profit. Number will go up. Everyone wins.”
For the last several decades, it’s been real good advice. It’s been a real good deal. It’s paid off real well, and is a part of how Baby Boomers have so much money in retirement. If you had such a thing as a 401(k) and/or an IRA and you followed the advice, it’s been a real-life case of the rising tide lifting all boats. There have been some serious storms along the way, but they’ve been followed by serious recoveries.
Well, guess who’s noticed allll that money sitting there, with nobody paying too much attention.
That’s right; it’s the techbros! And they’re wedging themselves – starting with Elon Musk and SpaceX – into that system, and if that means breaking the bargain to do it, then that means breaking the bargain to do it. It’s just a bunch of NPC money, after all. NPCs, peons, ordinaries – not real people, like them. Who, you know. Actually need that money.
(That’s an interpretation, of course. An opinion, if you like. First amendment, for as long as we have one.)
As above, historically, when being added to a major index – and thus becoming part of index funds, the kinds of funds normal people with 401K and IRA accounts invest in – a company and stock have had to prove themselves first. Be in public trading for a year, so the market has worked out a base valuation. Show profit. Show competence at running a company. Steps like that.
But for Elon and the other tech bros with all these AI startups… they’ve changed the rules. At least, the NASDAQ and Russell 1000 have.
So all of that old-fashioned safety and security nonsense? Gone. Just gone. For the benefit of him, and of his friends.
For the Russell 1000, I’m seeing conflicting information – the waved rules seem to allow technical entry within five trading days, but not actual entry until September or even December, the normal index reconstitution months. I think it’s planned to be September, but it’s cloudy.
The S&P 500, thankfully, have decided not to play along, at least for now. They were looking like they’ll allow an early entry as well – and it’s a damn good thing they have not, because they’re the largest and most important of these sorts of indexes.
Even without them, though, it’s billions and billions of dollars of forced buying by index funds – money being taken out of real companies that actually make money, and being put into the stock of Spaceboy Elon’s Clown Car Show.
The defence is that this is a “20 year buy,” that it’s a long-term investment and it’ll come good – but that’s not just what every company ever has said, it’s also horseshit. SpaceX’s rockets could possibly get to profitability, military contractors usually manage to do well, and that would be the likely route. (Tho’ others disagree, with validity.) X-twitter won’t; it’s only there to spread fascist propaganda and disinformation, not make money, so while pays back in other ways, those other ways don’t show up on balance sheets. xAI, best known as the maker of MechaHitler AI, will do far worse than average amongst so-called AI companies, particularly once Anthropic and OpenAI and who knows how many others repeat Elon’s stock trick. If his incompetent lawsuit against OpenAI showed anything, it’s that Elon and his company are very bad at making AI software.
You know what all this reminds me of, though?
There’s a famous rounding-error theft scheme, have you heard about it? It’s been used in a few movies. It’s the one where a programmer for a bank starts rounding interest payments to the nearest penny and then sending the rounded-off penny fractions to a separate, personal account because all the numbers still work. Nobody “loses” anything, but those fractions of cents round up real fast at scale.
Depending upon how the fraud is run, it’s either called Rounding Fraud or Salami Slicing. This isn’t quite that – to be clear, this is legal enough not to get investigated, particularly not by the Shitstain administration – but it’s real close to that.
Not the same. Just… real close.
It’s leveraging a trust to take advantage of people who have replied on that trust, abusing it and extracting small amounts of money and value from absolutely gobsmacking numbers of workers, all for the benefit of Mr. Musk. Elon will be scooping money out of retirement fund investments into long-term proven stocks and shovelling that money into his stock that absolutely does not have the value it’s being assigned so he can be Mister Champion of Capitalism, Mister Trillionaire.
And if it works, all his little fascist friends absolutely are going to do the same thing with their companies, too. This doesn’t stop with Elon.
Funny thing is, it may not even be noticed at first. See, the thing about forced purchases of stock is that it keeps demand up for that stock, which keeps the price of that stock up, regardless of any underlying value. If the Russell 1000 roll it in starting in September – more or less as NASDAQ-100 fund fulfillments would be petering out – that could keep the support going through the entire year, maybe.
They might get away with it for a while. On paper. While the right people cash out. It certainly won’t break the bank…
….until it does.
And that’s the trick, isn’t it? If this goes through, if this works even mostly as planned, then even without the S&P onboard it still eventually breaks the bank.
It breaks the bank because it breaks the trust. It breaks the bargain. Absolutely wrecks it, because literally everyone who can will follow suit, and do the same goddamn thing, over and over again.
And that is absolutely the kind of shift that destroys a market. It’s the dynamite that sets off a collapse.
But as long as they get to cash out first, who cares, right?
It’s a mass technically legal theft, a small sip taken each time but with oh so many portions and from so, so many people, a new kind of abuse that doesn’t yet have a name, but absolutely will; we’ll make one for it, in the aftermath.
Particularly if the S&P 500 change their mind again and decide to join in after all.
People have talked about neo-feudalism and techno-feudalism, but I don’t think that’s right. Early European feudalism – which was, people forget, under the Roman Empire – was arguably the western empire trying to keep its shit together and failing. Trying in the worst way possible, maybe, but hindsight is always 20/20.
These guys? They just want to loot it all.
They aren’t the feudal lords.
They’re the barbarians who have broken through the gates. Remember that even if this fails, they still tried, and they will try again.
5. What is the last book you read and the first you'll read next?
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But first: my medically mandated two hours of walking daily have led me to discover the glories that are the Fremont Siphon and the topiary dinosaurs near the Lake Washington Ship Canal. I can't believe I lived in the neighborhood for four years without finding out about these. I've also discovered an easier way from Lake Union to the Troll than going right up the murder hill that is Troll Ave.
So how's my face? First the bad news: the incision at my hairline is still red and angry, and there's a little bit of scabbing left. The good news is that the swelling just beneath it is definitely flattening out, and the bruise-like spots there are shrinking. I think it needs at least a couple of weeks more before I feel comfortable around people without a hat.
Forehead: pretty good. The musculature between my eyebrows seems to be reasserting itself, which might not be very esthetic, but it's a sign of healing.
The temporary morning "bruises" near my eyes are now smaller, shorter lived, and always on my right side: two hours instead of four.
The nose: I no longer need to wear tape on my nose during the day as of today! Hurrah! The tip of my nose looks somehow broader than it was, which I take to be either swelling or an optical illusion. And it, too seems to have changed since I got up this morning.
The lips: good. My lifted upper lift started out looking stretched against my face, but it seems to have filled out. Sagging at the right corner is mostly gone.
Numbness from my lower lip to my chin: decreasing.
Gums: no more weird stuff poking out of them. Where it gets odd is that my tissues seem to have grown right over some stitches.
Numbness on my scalp: maybe decreasing? It's still pretty bad up there, but if I sit still I can feel a pulsating tingling sensation. I'm guessing that's the circulation re-growing where they peeled my skull like an orange.
I swear, this whole experience is heavy metal body horror. But I do like my new face way more.
I got my check from the Seattle Erotic Art Festival for the pice I sold: a paper check for eighteen whole US dollars. I laughed all the way from my mailbox to the front door.
And then I started walking down the hill to get some eats and then a bus to Lambert House. I passed three people at a bus shelter doing whatever, and then two of them, men, started walking down the hill close behind me.
They turn left, but then one comes back toward me saying something like, "Why do people have to be so weird?" Well, you know what happened next: it got weirder. For me.
He seemed like some goofy dude, maybe homeless, maybe a few cards short of a deck, and he made it clear as flatteringly as he could that he'd clocked me. Yes, despite my brand new expensive face. And then he asked for dating advice, saying that he's into heavier women.
"Treat them like people, not things," I said. Sage advice, said he, or words to that effect. He mentioned that he's Hispanic and would that work in his community?
Uh, what? "I hope so," I said. Did I mention to him that I'm a huge lesbian? More or less.
Before peeling off, he insisted on doing a bro-y fist bump. Misgenderers come in two principal flavors: overtly nasty, and bro-y. Why do have people have to be so weird, indeed?
I don't think I was in any danger: it was rush hour on a busy arterial on a sunny day. But yeah, this kind of thing is to be expected in my (formerly) bohemian neighborhood.
The good news about Lambert House is that a) nobody was disruptive at trans group, and b) the board member/IT guy approved my plans to modernize the front desk DB, with some reasonable suggestions. I'll be getting on that.
I arrived in Amsterdam two weeks ago to an afternoon of occasional drizzle, followed by a downpour as I wandered around Haarlem, discovering the sleeves of my raincoat had lost their waterproofing. But dry weather followed this xeric Coloradan and Europe experienced a heat dome for the next week and a half. Temperatures were only in the 80s Fahrenheit, but humidity made the days somewhat unpleasant. Most buildings in northern Europe don't have air conditioning, so even going to sleep could be a challenge.
After a particularly sweaty experience dragging 60kg of suitcases through three train stations and over the bumpy cobblestones of Antwerp in the intense heat, I had the excellent foresight to have booked a tour of Antwerp's underground canals, a delightfully cool (if somewhat stinky) tour. Three days later I telished in the cool and moist cellar air (full of high quality brettanomyces) of the Oud Beersel lambic brewery. My "bike to the forest and play ham radio" plans were also nicely timed to cool down with assistance from shady trees.
It's back to cool-with-rain this week, bookending my remarkably dry jaunt in Benelux. I'll be flying home tomorrow, and hopefully Colorado got some precipitation while I was away too.
While I was at the Mercury on Saturday night, somebody who I never see outside the Merc told me that I was smiling more than I usually do. I hadn't noticed.
Maybe not going through life with a face that you hate has subtler salutary effects than I predicted. It's not too unreasonable to suppose that the slap of gender dysphoria that I used to get when looking in the mirror only affected me while I was doing it.
Current Mood:relieved
Current Music:King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, "Nuclear Fusion"
I haven't written in four days. That's because recovering from surgery is basically purgatory.
But Dancer intervened a few days ago when she asked me if I'd go to the Mercury's anniversary. I wasn't going to because I've still got the hated tape on my nose, but then I remembered that I've gone to the Merc with far weirder things on my face: back in the days when I had to grow my facial hair out for electrolysis, I'd wear a mandana over it. (I pulled it down briefly for the door people, natch.)
Shallow fashion tedails: black Stetson hat to cover my incision, which necessitated the silver Stetson cowboy boots, which led to the black fence nets and circle skirt with the black-and-white stripey trim from cupcake_goth, which needed the black-and-white striped spandex top that I got for )'( from Coquetry. Did it go with the Alice in Wonderland theme? No, but nobody really cares.
H the door person said I should wear my incision with pride. I get it, but I also get that it could really freak somebody out.
Said hi to peeps. Danced a little. Was basically good girl and bugged out shortly before midnight.
Wanted to assuage the drunchies at Betsutenjin, but it was closed for Golden Week; that's how Japanese they are. So I tried the Korean place next door, Seoul Mates. The kitchen was a little slow – maybe due to the influx of Betsutenjin regulars – but the food's right on.
Brief morning walk. Got some Pocari Sweat from a vending machine. It's supposed to be some electrolyte drink. It was slightly sweet and sour, slightly thick, and I'm probably suffering suggestibility from the 'sweat' name, but it was mildly disgusting. I saved most for later, guessing it might be more appealing after being out and sweating.
When I'd been looking for Tokyo housing, I'd seen something in Kawagoe, and friend Bernie suggested exploring it. I realized that it was 40 minutes from Naka-Urawa, and went.
Slept well. Overnight the room managed to get down to its target temperature of 18 C, but that soon changed as the morning warmed up. Spent the morning chatting online with a friend, then got out and wandered west. Still a nice and green area, somewhat unusual for Japanese urbanism -- narrow streets have their advantages, but don't allow much life beyond potted plants. I found a bikeshare station and rode around for a bit. Not much in the way of bike infrastructure around, and the relatively busy streets were two-lane with just a bit of paint as "sidewalk", but the narrower residential streets had good connectivity and I improvised my way around for a while. But I had a goal of exploring the actual Omiya area, and that was like 30-40 minutes away by bike on a hot day, so I eventually turned in. (Closest 4 bike stations were full, I had to park like 5 minutes out.)
Not a ton to say about Omiya, I mostly explored east of the station, semi-typical Japanese commercial area. The north-south street east of the station was strikingly free of vehicles; looking at the map, that kind of makes sense, it's sort of a loop off a through street further east. And there's no curbside parking in Japan, so you can't drive in to park, especially if the garages are faced somewhere else... lots of pedestrian alleys too, running east-west.
I had a staneshi? sutaneshi? bowl, some sort of ginger pork over rice. Was good, I didn't finish all the rice. That egg in the photo is raw, to be cracked over the food. I also got some boiled dumplings, which were good. Miso came with the bowl, but it was the blandest miso I've ever had.
Accidentally found the sexy club district too, a bit to the south.
Found a Kura under the station, I thought basement CO2 was good, but despite being open to the basement corridors, was higher inside. Also plates started at 150 yen, not 120 yen like the place two nights before. I had a few plates to try out the place, then left.
West of the station is another one of those large second-story deck areas, like I talked about in Fujisawa and have seen elsewhere. Lots of tall mall-type buildings around there; I walked around a slight bit, then stopped in a park to rest. Some apparent young office workers were there too, at like 7 PM, playing around (like the guys jumping over a tiny 'creek' while the women took photos.)
Some gaming (pachinko?) place had this Certain Scientific Railgun poster outside, where you can have your face replace Kuroko's in a photo. Kind of weird. I've been reading the Railgun manga (and have seen all the Railgun anime seasons before -- not all the Index etc stuff), so that was an amusing coincidence.
Back home, the host had finally brought the fan, after I'd pointed out the weak A/C and my physical discomfort. She didn't acknowledge that failing to keep a cool temperature was weak A/C, just saying there was a big difference in day/night temperatures.
Speaking of noise, plus my recent post about car harms, I watched this City Beautiful video on highway noise. 4% of US population lives within 150 meters of a major highway. 30-45% of big city people live within 500 meters. Los Angeles now requires new apartments near a highway to have air filtration, but that doesn't help using your backyard or balcony.
Trains in Japan stop running overnight, so the noise went down. I woke up at 2:30 for mysterious brain reasons of my own, but got some more sleep in the morning, so place was kind of tolerable with earplugs and my head down. But after getting up... rumble rumble rumble. I bit the bullet and asked my host if they'd let me transfer to a quieter property of theirs; they were pretty accommodating (of course, it meant them getting more money -- higher rate) and even let me checkout at 1 so they could clean it by 4. I didn't feel like juggling my luggage though, so just paid for overlapping stays.
Yono Park was to the west, with a nice temple on the way. (I'm writing on the Shinkansen a few days later, bandwidth is limited, you get links instead of embeds.) Yono has a small shrine on an island in a pond, and a big rose garden, with many sweet-smelling roses.
Moved to the new room. Good parts: quiet! Balcony door open meant I heard a small waterfall on the creek/canal. Closed meant I only heard the A/C. Neighborhood (west of Naka-Urawa station) proved quite pretty: lots of trees, community gardens(!) and other plants, car-free footpaths along creeks. Good supermarket by the station, nice park east of the station. That park has its own shrine on island, and see.
Bad parts: terrible stairs up, weak A/C that basically couldn't get the room temperature more than 6 C cooler than the outside, kitchen missing spatula or ladle or plates, host refused to bring those things, or the fan that was in the Airbnb photos. "It's not summer season yet", despite it being 29 C outside, and forecast to be 35 C Friday.
Dinner: just easy stuff. Sashimi, cooked chicken, bread and cream cheese, bag of tea eggs, fruit.
1. In an average week, how many nights do you eat home-cooked dinners?
2. Do you plan your meals out in advance, or just wing it?
3. How many nights per week do you eat out or order food delivered?
4. Do you keep a stock of nonperishable foods from which you could whip up a meal or two if you needed to?
5. Have you ever tried preparing meals for the week all at once, say, on the weekend?
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