"Is it a sin to feel superior to an imbecile?" is one of those things I need framed on my wall.

And, irrigation canals.

Saves 82% of water evaporation. 💧

no ai usage over here. you’re gonna get my shitty authentic writing whether you like it or not

Dennis who leaves the farm with hopes of hitchhiking to Pittsburg. He shaves his head and makes himself look as manly as possible before leaving, knowing it would be dangerous. He doesn’t speak, and when he does, he pitches his voice down as low as he can. He doesn’t use the bathroom anywhere except single stalls and usually in grocery stores or other brightly lit places. He does his best to be safe.

He picked his name, picked his life, and he was chasing it down.

And eventually he got picked up, two men saying they were headed to Pittsburg. And Dennis agrees to ride along, sitting in the backseat, the car was spacious but he kept his backpack hugged to his chest, he could pop the locks on the doors if he needed, and the men were…

Older. Sweet. Handsome. Thoughtful. They stopped at fast food places and actually went inside to eat, inviting Dennis to order whatever he liked. Dennis was hesitant at first but when they didn’t ask for anything in return… he let himself indulge a bit.

They stopped at big bright truck stops and offered him a shower token if he wanted to go clean up while they filled up the gas tank and stretched their legs. They didn’t try to separate him from his bag or ask too many questions.

They put on music and sang along to it, they told stories, they offered him advice, they even asked if he needed anything before they dropped him off on a random street close to the school. Dennis just shook his head and walked like he knew where he was going.

New start. New, fresh start. No one knew him, no one would question him.

That was until years later and he was stood in an ED and two familiar faces were staring right back at him, smiling, almost…. Proud.

biologist adrian being the one to do open-heart surgery on grace due to their intense fascination with how grace works. rocky needs to step out cause grace being so exposed is making him anxious and worried.

meanwhile grace is high asf on painkillers. (adrian gave him too much of a dose by accident; they were worried about hurting him). so he starts yapping about how pretty adrian is and then gets emotional and cries that adrian can never see how pretty they are like how grace does.

i'm really not the kind of person who enjoys de-ageing plots normally, but i do think it would be very fun if we had a Red Hood identity reveal au where Damian as Robin gets de-aged to a baby while on patrol one night and he just. Will Not Stop Wailing. he screams like he's about to be murdered any time Batman or Nightwing or Red Robin or anyone even goes near him, even when they try to take off their suits in case it's the masks that are freaking him out. Babian is not fucking having it and he refuses to stop crying, so they bats are just stuck kinda panicking while trying to figure out what to do, because they don't want to scare the baby so bad that he hurts himself or something but also they need to get him home so they can try to fix things???

after a while Red Hood is nearby and, obviously, hearing a kid in such clear distress in the middle of the night means he checks it out, and upon landing nearby and asking what the fuck is going on, the bats have to watch as baby-Damian notices the shiny red of Hood's helmet and armour, instantly recognises him, and crawls over to him to sob and clench his tiny little fists at him in an ask for uppies. and Red Hood obviously takes one look at the baby at his feet, goes 'shit wait- Dami?' and bends down to cradle him like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Hood then has to explain that he knew Robin in the league and helped care from him when he was really little, which is probably why Red Hood is currently the only person in the city that baby Damian recognises/views as safe, and Bruce is left with the annoying realisation that the only way to both keep Damian safe and happy while they figure out how to reverse the de-aging and get his son back to normal, is if he brings the Red Hood back to the cave with them. a man who is supposed to be his enemy and whom none of them realised Damian even knew, because clearly that little shit has been lying about some stuff.

for lack of a better solution they end up cautiously bringing Hood back to the cave, which Jason easily goes along with because the second he clocked baby Damian his paternal/protector instincts took over and he doesn't currently care about anything but keeping Damian happy. so there's a period of time where the bats are working as hard as possible in the cave to figure out a way to get Damian back to normal while also warily keeping an eye on Hood to make sure he doesn't try snooping around/go up to the manor/start shit, and Jason is just. not even clocking that this is a worry for them. he's genuinely just zeroed in on Damian like an activated sleeper agent, humming lullabies and changing diapers and even letting the baby clumsily try to take off his helmet because he wants to see Jason's face. Jason lets him, because he still has the mask on underneath, but it's still the first time any of the bats have seen under the helmet and so Dick and Tim end up on the other side of the cave watching with dropped jaws as Jason lets Damian play in his helmet -which he's like. small enough to sit in.- like... is that a fucking teenager under there???

Bruce finally figures out how to get Damian back to normal and when they fix him he comes back really disorientated and not really understanding what the fuck's been going on, so when he blinks open his eyes all dizzy and trying to gain his bearings he clocks Jason's face as one of the first things he sees and without thinking he just goes 'wait- Jason? what the fuck happened, where am I?'

all the bats turn in unison to stare at Jason in question and Jason just freezes in place. like. 'god i wish you'd just stayed a baby.'

'you wish i'd stayed a fucking what-?'

codependent league brothers Damian and Jason who are so used to being side-by-side and able to communicate 24/7 that living in different parts of Gotham after Damian is introduced to Bruce and Jason becomes the Red Hood is basically torture for them. they’re not within earshot of each other for the first time in over five years and. they don’t take to it well. they end up getting tiny bluetooth ear pieces to keep in one ear so that they can be in a call with each other all day every day without anybody getting suspicious, and it works really well. it’s certainly not an issue for Jason, who lives alone and isn’t really close enough to anybody else for them to notice if he seems to talk to himself on the regular. the issue, of course, is that Damian lives in the manor with the rest of the family. and it is a little hard for them not to notice their youngest talking to air all throughout the day. especially because Damian doesn’t even really hide it, he just keeps talking to nothing in front of them all and then telling them to mind their business when they ask what the fuck he’s talking about.

~at breakfast~

*the bats chilling at the dining table, eating food*

Bruce, to Tim: so i got that meeting moved to Thursday, and we can talk to the board this afternoon about those plans you discussed with me last night.

Tim: oh, cool. so i’ll come to your office at like, three i guess?

Bruce: sounds good to me.

Jason, in Damian’s ear as he grocery shops in Crime Alley: neat, there’s a three for two offer on that ice cream brand i like. i’ve been craving ice cream all weekend.

Damian, not looking up from his cereal: you should try the new flavour they came out with, it has caramel in it.

Jason: oooh, good shout,

the rest of the table:

Bruce: what was that, chum?

Damian, glancing up at them: i wasn’t talking to you.

Jason: so rude, interjecting themselves into our conversations like that.

Damian: i know, right?

Tim, baffled: …what the fuck is happening?

Bruce decides that Damian must just have an imaginary friend or something, so he leaves it be. honestly, anything even remotely childlike Damian is willing to do in public is a massive step forward in Bruce’s eyes, so he’s pretty happy to pretend like nothing’s changed. he even takes part in the conversation sometimes, when he can pick up context simply from what Damian says and has something potentially helpful to add. confused but not willing to look a gift horse in the mouth, Damian occasionally ends up acting as a go-between while Bruce unknowingly has conversations with his dead son, which is weirdly healing for Jason even though Bruce has no idea what he’s really doing.

~Damian quietly drawing in the corner of Bruce’s office while Bruce works~

Jason, in Damian’s ear, as he tries to fix a leak in his apartment: i don’t even understand where the water’s coming from- *grunt* i swear i turned off the valve!

Damian, mildly: this is the third time your sink has broken, at this point just pay for a professional.

Bruce: ?

Jason: i’m not paying some shmuck to do something i can do myself perfectly well.

Damian: except you can’t do it perfectly well, you’ve been trying to do it perfectly well for the past forty-five minutes and you haven’t even located where the leak is.

Jason: shut up, i’m getting there.

Bruce:

Bruce, wants to bond with Damian and encourage his make-believe: *tentatively* try feeling along the p-trap with a paper towel…?

Damian: *blinks over at him*

Jason, can hear Bruce through Damian’s earpiece: it’s not the p-trap, i checked that.

Damian: …it isn’t the p-trap.

Bruce: then maybe put the plug in and fill the basin with water; it could be an issue with the drain strainer.

Damian:

Jason: ….hold on.

*a minute later*

Jason: ohhhh i got you, motherfucker! i got it!

Damian: it was the drain strainer?

Jason: it’s the drain strainer! tell B thanks.

Damian: thank you, Father.

Bruce, oddly proud of himself: no problem! you know if you’re interested in fixing things, Damian, i could always show you how to-

Damian: i have no interest in mechanical endeavours whatsoever.

Bruce:

Bruce: alright then.

Dick is a little concerned that Damian’s hallucinating or hearing voices at first, but he eventually subscribes to Bruce’s imaginary friend theory and responds pretty much in the same way. the only other theory that keeps cropping up is Tim’s theory, which develops after Damian doesn’t realise Tim’s in the same room as him and mid-debate about the best type of poison firmly refers to Jason by his full government name. this leads Tim to decide that Damian can commune with the dead, and is being haunted/followed around by the friendly ghost of the second Robin. Tim then becomes worried that he’s upset Jason’s ghost when he became Robin, and starts flitting about Damian nervously while trying to find out if there’s a way to make peace with Jason’s restless spirit.

Damian goes with it because he thinks it’s funny.

Tim: is it like- is it an unfinished business thing? is he trapped to this mortal realm with no way to pass on? do we need to help him???

Damian, baffled:

Jason, having the time of his life: tell him my ghost wants twenty dollars.

Damian: *snorts*

Tim, looking around frantically: what’d he say?!?!?!

Damian: nothing.

Jason: no, shut up, tell him i want twenty dollars.

Damian: no, piss off.

Tim: tell me!

Damian: ….he says he wants twenty dollars.

Tim: …why would a ghost want twenty dollars?

Jason: to buy stuff from the ghost vending machine. obviously.

Damian: ok. you’re an idiot.

Tim: what’s he saying?

*noise of water from the earpiece*

Damian: …are you taking a fucking shower right now?

Jason: what, ghosts cant have showers? listen- you gotta tell him that to get physical items into the spirit realm you have to burn them as sacrifice. we’re gonna get him to set all his shit on fire.

Damian: why would you want everything to be set on fire?

Jason: dunno. bored.

Tim: he wants us to set stuff on fire? *slightly worried* …is he a vengeful ghost?

Damian:

Damian: why can’t you just be like Father and presume i’m simply a whimsical child?

Tim: …?

the family literally only finds out that Jason and Damian have been in a constant never-ending phone call when Jason finally ends up back with the family and joins them on a group patrol, and three minutes into being in the same vicinity Damian complains about the feedback-echo and digs the earpiece out. family patrol night rapidly devolves into a Gotham-wide screaming match as everybody indignantly tries to come to terms with the fact that Damian’s been fucking perma-skyping Jason for the past year and a half without telling them, while Jason delights in telling them all the stupid shit he’s heard through Damian’s earpiece while they haven’t known he’s listening.

unrealistic to me that at no point during Jason's time in the League of Assassins was there a period of Ra's desperately trying to figure out what the fuck brought Jason back to life inside that coffin and that at no point was there a conversation that was like,

Jason, on a medical table for the twelfth experiment that day: how do we even know it was me, though?

Ra's: what do you mean?

Jason, shrugging: like- maybe i was just in a magic coffin. maybe it had nothing to do with me, maybe it was my environment. have you ever read the book 'pet cemetery'?

Ra's:

Ra's: *squints deeply*

Ra's: no. if it was the graveyard then you wouldn't be the only person that came back to life. you're being ridiculous.

Jason: i dunno. maybe it was just that one specific patch of grass.

Ra's:

Ra's: hm.

Bruce finds out Jason came back to life way earlier than planned because halfway through patrol he gets an alert of a disturbance at Gotham Cemetery and when he and Tim get there it's to see Jason and Ra's in the dark with headlamps on next to Jason's now dug-up grave, dirt everywhere as Jason holds a shovel and Ra's holds the corpse of a dead chicken over the hole, ready to lower it, surrounded by league assassins either standing guard or holding notebooks and pens for if something actually happens and Ra's wants to take notes.

Damian is in the car with the window cracked wrapped in Jason's jacket and tiredly playing temple run on Jason's phone while he waits for them to be done so they can go home. when he sees Bruce arrive he sighs loudly and does up the window. Batman and Robin land in the graveyard and everybody freezes like the scene in ratatouille when the humans catch the rats in the kitchen, and it takes Jason two solid weeks to convince Bruce that no, they were not trying to replace his corpse with a chicken, they were doing science-

Justice League meeting on the watchtower, totally boring, nothing interesting on the docket-

Until a portal opens up and a white haired teen sticks his head through, and all the heroes are suddenly on alert as the kid looks around. His eyes catch on Batman and he grins, pointing directly at him.

“Man dressed as a bat!”

Batman: ???

White haired teen reaches back into the portal and brings another, slightly smaller teenager with black hair through, holding him up by the armpits. “Is this your dimension?”

The black haired teenager - is that Robin’s symbol on his chest? looks around, then shakes thier head. “No. My Wonderwoman is taller, and my Aquaman has a beard. Also, this place seems more… color saturated.”

The white haired teen huffs. “Aw, man. I got excited. Well, at least we’re getting closer! Come on, Robin!”

Snapping out of his shock, Superman twitches forward. “Hey, wait-!”

Both teenagers vanish in a flash of light before any of them can stop them.

“…I would look good with a beard.”

Project Hail Mary: A Visual Summary

Haven't posted in 5 years ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 (8 days)

headcanon: eridians have two layers to their romantic relationships, like humans. courting (dating) and mates (marriage).

grace does not know this and thinks mates is just the one step up from friends to romance. he’s talking with adrian one night who’s explaining eridian culture to him and they inevitably talk about romance. grace then realises that adrian has been referring to him as a mate this whole time, as in marriage, like as in husband.

he brings it up to adrian who is just like “of course idiot, you and rocky are my wonderful, strange, perfect mates <3”

grace then becomes a leaky space blob because that’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to him.

Daddy,Can we keep him?

Dpxdc

Ellie was de aged in order to stabilize her and has been living as Danny's daughter since than

It was hard taking care of a 2 year old child as a freshly 17 year old boy(he wasn't even eighteen yet, mind you)

But he'd make it work

It was hard, but he managed it while juggling between part time work, online school and taking care of young Ellie

One day, Ellie just barged into the house with a boy in a tow

The twelve year old girl pulled the boy along into the kitchen where Danny is making lunch for the two of them

The boy looked utterly confused

" Daddy, can we keep him!" She shouted loudly. That's not a request, it's a demand

Danny turned around with a calm expression but was shocked when he saw the boy

THAT'S AN INFANT!

Oh dear....

The boy looked physically 16 but he is not even half a year old yet

That's a literal baby....

Danny lowered the fire, washed his hand and wiped it before walking toward the boy

The boy just stood there, dumbfounded, as Danny cupped his face and turned it left and right

" where did you find him Ellie?"

Ellie hugged Danny's waist and buried her face into it

" was following a bunch of costumed children and then they kinda destroyed a whole laboratory and saved him and he's a clone! Like me! But his DNA donor doesn't want him, so I took him with me!" She told him proudly

Danny sighed fondly " Ellie, I've told you many times not to follow them, it's dangerous"

Danny turned to look at the confused boy who was standing there awkwardly with his face being cupped by Danny's hand

Danny let go of the boy " are you hungry? We're making casserole and beef stew if you want? We also have fudge"

Honestly... The superman's clone(he doesn't have a name yet) didn't know what to do, so he just nodded hesitantly

"great! Let's go eat fudge! Dad's fudge is the best in the world!" Ellie grabs his hand and dragged him into the dining room

And he has been living with them since that day

He means- he do can leave if he wants, he just choose not to

Why would he leave someone who actually loves him? That would be crazy of him since his DNA donor wants nothing to do with him and the other one is crazy megalomaniac

And oh! He also has a name now, it's Conner

Conner Nightingale

And he loves it

Meanwhile the others when superman's clone suddenly disappear:

WHERE DID HE GO!?!?!

Ellie who just picked him up and used flight and invisibility: yay I've now acquired a baby brother, we'll be bestie forever. Let's cause an explosion

Conner : what?

----

The idea of Danny being able to tell someone's actual age is funny to me cuz lol it's just funny

And since superman didn't want Conner, Danny would gladly take him in

In a world full of "Rocky hates Stratt" I am "Rocky thinks Stratt is brave for giving up the one person who understood her most"