I don't want to be this way

So Chris brought Gabi and Brain back for a day, just a day. Also another kid, who was way better than these more grown kids. 

The message they seem to have gotten from this is that they won't do things INSIDE now. But this means that they're not fixing anything they did/left. And it was only a day, I get it. But the solve for everything being outside is they stuffed it all in the garage? Like a kid told to clean their room and then just pushes everything into the closet. The bags of plastic and such aren't even sorted, I can't just load them up. 

And I don't want to passive aggressive my way around this, like is my wont. Like posting, hey, just loaded up the new dishwasher they got me for the first time! With all the dishes they left in the sink for me! 

Like that. But that's me. I don't want to be terrible. But that's my first thought. I have to say, a good percentage of this distress from all of this is not being able to be as visibly distressed as I actually am. Even trying to get the message across, that this is NOT daijoubu. I tried to pat softly and let them know they are not in danger, but this is unacceptable. I am sick and best I can manage towards chicken soup and hot tea at this point is ramen and Sprite, and turned around making ramen and had a moment of where's my measuring cup, where are any of the measuring cups, where are half the cups, what the hell. And just had to. Be. 

I'm. I'm feeling a lot. I freakin clenched my teeth so hard after getting back I broke my crown. Then went in and found out I will need another crown eventually, needed a small filling. The tooth needing a crown eventually had the filling fall out Monday, when I got sick after going out to Conway. I mean, it didn't hurt but I could feel how thin and sharp that cusp was, I was really worried about my teeth clenching/grinding breaking it DX; And that'd be SURE to hurt as well as way not good. So even though I thought of cancelling my dental appt cuz I was sick, I took a covid test, it was negative, so I still went. I gave them the option when I walked in, full disclosure, but we proceeded nonetheless. But yeah, got a temp crown on that missing filling, got that small filling near it that I had needed, and the broken crown below can wait. It's not in big danger, you can just see the metal beneath the porcelain, it can wait. But I got to find out a) they don't do crowns like that anymore, and b) the estimated life on a crown is about 5-7 years. I was unaware that dental work had a shelf/mouth-life. And hey, I guess I got a good run on that crown considering? I dunno. 

UGH. But apparently medicare only wants you to do repair work on something once every few years, not back to back, so since it wasn't that long since I got that filling that fell out, they're not covering the crown. That's out of pocket. Also, the dentist was really surprised to see my biteguard, worn so much on the left side, and suggested a retainer for nights instead, which I was kinda thinking about bringing up. I've bitten straight thru some of those store-bought molds you can get, and the pro one I have is less comfy than those but tougher. A thinner but tough retainer might be best. But yeah, medicare won't pay for that either. I can bluff my way thru all this, but does it have to be back to back like this. I was going to go ahead and get one month of the Copaxone that Dr Li got me back on, but even with insurance it's 1k a month. I decided to bite and get one month as I keep trying to find ways to battle that, but it meant that going over all the medicines I'm on I had to tell medical professionals TWICE that day that no, I'm not currently taking it actually bc I can't afford it. That's sobering as hell. 

Rrrghn. There was a Northwest clinic two doors down from the dentist, so I walked in asking if I could get a flu/strep test at least. No prob. My regular general doctor left the practice while I was on vacation, it turns out, I got a letter when I got back. I don't want to pick him up anywhere else, so I asked friends for rec's and got one. If not that, then the guy I saw at NW seems fine too. They tested covid again while they were at it, and I was negative for all, which is good. He sent the strep culture for another test in case, and offered an antibiotic if I felt bad still by end of next day. I can handle that. I got an e-mail that my sub job for Wed was cancelled, so called my aunt and cancelled meeting up with her too, and she confirmed I sounded awful n_n So I slept most of Wed, and I'm not magically better but I'm better than I was, so this confirms to me that it's a cold and it's on the way out. I take care of myself, wear a mask, I'm okay. Got more cough syrup to guzzle, took hot baths. *sigh* When it rains it pours. Which it did, btw. Pour. Stormed all Wed. Best I didn't have to drive anyway. Dang.