This weekend I'm going to visit this fox i met on the bus the other day, she lives an hour away but that's cool because she is hot as hell. She's a model, she was in that one BBQ Swifty's commercial (well that's what she said but I haven't seen the commercial yet). She also did some stuff for Vicoria Secrets but I haven't seen that yet either. I'm hoping to get to see a private model show of that if you know what I mean heh heh. I met her on the corner while I was waiting for the downtown bus, she was real friendly and seemed really interested in me. I'm gonna loan her $500 bucks until she gets that check from Victoria Secrets. I'm staying with her and her roommate Guido for the weekend, he's in business for himself and I guess makes boco dinero, he also manages her career. I thought I saw him the other night getting into the back of a cop car but it couldn't have been him becaUse Tiffany (the fox I met) said he was in Swedan for business, he is one of the sharpest dressers I have ever seen, he wears bright purple overcoats with really fancy hats and sometimes has a cane to complete the ensemble. He's a cool cat but don't talk too close to his face or else he gets mad, he's just the private type I guess. I can't wait to see Tiffany, she promised if I take her out to a fancy restaurant she'll get me next time, Guido has to come too but that's cool. More details when I get back! WHOOOOPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Me and Justin are gonna start a new bike gang and call it The Huffy Industry. I'm using my sister's old Huffy bike, my uncle Petey has a sweet old Lexus motor and we're gonn stick that sucker in it and watch it go! Petey is my rich uncle who just got out of the Big House from down in Texas, they nabbed him for writing a few bad checks at Walmart, it was only for a few dozen soft pretzels, rope, duct tape, a video camera and a machete oh and I forgot about the twizlers. That dumb 'ol coot wAs on his way accross the macon dixon line when he was nabbed. He's my favorite uncle cuz he lets me and my cousin watch Girls Gone Wild and Trailor Park Sex Trilogy he's even good for some of that sweet concoction of fermented apples and sugar water. I don't care none that you have to go out side to use the bathroom, he swears he's got a ton of loot locked up in a bank somewhere in Swaziland or Switserland or something and I believe him cuz he walks the walk. One time I woke up at his trailor and a few days have passed and I am only wearing my super maN cape and dirty skivvies, he told me I had a good time with some friends of his old lady and I'll take his word for it. I just wish my nuts would stop burning, must be the moonshine. Me and Justin are only gonna let cool people join our biker gang and to those faygs in Hooterville County,you caN just lick our bungs! That's absolutely the last time I will fall for the old, "hey Peter I know a really hot chick that has a huge crush on you and she wants you to take her to the dance this weekend" the last chick was so fat and wouldn't shut her big trap about how she took the hog callen blue ribbon at the county fair for the last few years. slut. I know where I like my bread buttered and it by no fat chick that has a nack for callen hogs. More to come later on The Huffy Industry, we will be a force to be reckoned with. Gotta go now, one of my ants is about to lay eggs and I wanna take pickchures of it. Not to make a porno or anything.
Whew! long time no blog. Oh how I miss you dear journal, my bestest friend.
It's been a long hot summer so far. Getting to be a camp counseler at Camp Rising Star was a total blast! Justin ripped on me because it's a camp for fat kids but I know he was just jealous ha ha!
I met this really hot camper while there and we had a sweet summer romance. Ironically, her name is kandy (with a k ). I told her that she had the body of a Bottachelli and she was putty in my hands. She was 17 so i wasn't really robbing the cradle. We had to keep our romance secret so there was a lot of secret hand holding under the lunch table. I would sneak her Twinkies and once in a while my Ding Dongs (if you know what i mean) and she would pay me back with her sweet caresses.
Sadly, another counselor busted us making out at the Mc Donald's parking lot and told Head Counselor Bucky, needless to say I wAs canned. I sure do miss long stares into those cupcAke eyes of hers. Last I heard she was seen shAring an ice cream soda with total jerk face Stanly. I also heard that she got even fatter. HA! HA! Pig! WHA WHA
I'm in the shower, and I'm gonna put some conditioner in my chest hair after washing it. The conditioner's been left upside down, and I musta been squeezing it or something because as soon as I pop the little thing in the cap, it shoots out a tablespoon of white creamy conditioner across my face and chest.
Today I went to Super Cuts to get that sweet Garth Brookes look, after the perm and dry finished I went to Rodney's Cowboy Palace and purchased some real tight Wrangler jeans and cowboy hat. I was walking down the sidewalk and fell because the pavement was uneven, the unfortunate part is that I ripped my new found jeans, stupid! stupid! stupid!
crushed
annoyed