never to be forgotten

X-posted to cat_lovers. I need to get this off my chest...
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Cory 1997-2010
Miss you...

Herbie, my twelve (almost thirteen) year old Golden Retriever whom I've had since I was nine and he was three months, died this morning. He had pneumonia and some esophagus problem that kept his food from going down. At first they thought it was lung cancer, but a month ago the antibiotics started working. Thursday he got off the antibiotics. got very ill, and a tumor he had removed on his leg had grown a substantial amount, and today morning we had to put him down.

Herbie was my best friend. When I was young, my mother was incredibly abusive to me. Herbie would always sit with me when I sobbed and cried that I'd kill myself. When I was depressed and suicidal, he lay beside me. When a boy broke my heart, he was there. No matter what I looked like, what I'd said to him, what I'd done, he was always so happy to see me when I came home.

I'm going to miss him so much. I can't stop crying. I've never seen my father cry so much. I feel so guilty for having euthanized him. I feel like had we tried the antibiotics again that maybe he would have lived. I don't know how to go on without my protector, my best friend, my little brother, my baby ...

As much as I don't want to but I need the closure.

( PepperCollapse )

Hello, everyone... My name is Jamie.

I've hit a very rough spot in my life, and today, I hit perhaps one of the roughest of all... At 18 years old, Charlie, aka "Hammy", our beloved cat, has passed on...

His health had been in steady decline, all through this year... He was brought into the vets, three months or so ago, after we noticed that one side of his face was swelling... He seemed to respond somewhat to antibiotics, at first, so we hoped.. prayed... that perhaps it was that, and not the dreaded "C-word"...

But in the end... It was... It was in both his mouth, and in a large mass, in his stomach...

The vet told us, we'd just "know" when the time was right... He'd likely become distant, and lose his appetite... He would be moving away from us, knowing it was his time to rest that final time...

However... What makes this so damn hard for me... is that time never came.

He never, ever lost that sparkle in his eye... He cuddled with us, and sought our attention, every day... He'd come into my room, late at night, when I was the only one up, and lay right behind me on my bed, as I sat here at this computer, chatting with my friends...

...He was on my bed, just last night... Just... Last night... He was right there...

But he began bleeding, heavily... so much that we had to put towels under him, wherever he went to lay down, or even sit, sometimes... We had to constantly wipe his chin... I kept joking on how it was "just like taking care of a grandparent"...

...We grew up with him. My sister and I... Hammy was about the same age as she, in fact... and in between our tears, today, she muttered something like "there's never been a day where he wasn't here, for me..!" and that just... it broke me down, all over again...

I'm in tears as I type this...

My heart feels broken...

I feel like there was so much that I wanted to tell him, still.. That I should have uttered "I love you" even more than I always did...

I wish that kiss I placed on his scruffy forehead never had to end...

I wish he was still here... But I know that's selfish of me...

he isn't hurting anymore, where he is.. and that is what is truly important...



...I'll never forget you, big guy. Thank you... Thank you... Thank you, for all of the unconditional love that you gave...

You always gave...

The only thing you ever asked for, was our company...

I love you...







This is the tribute image that I managed for him, on tegaki e... I felt like sharing... I hope that it's ok...

My little brown baby. My dachshund, Harvey ruptured a disc in his back and lost the use of his hind legs. On July 15th he had just turned 4. He was overweight, and we tried to get him to lose weight, but my grandmother kept feeding him. The vet said that even if we had gotten him to lose the weight, it would have happened eventually because of his breed.

We had put him in a kennel while traveling to go visit my mom's family in North Carolina. We came back Sunday evening and picked him and our other 4 year old, Wiley, who is a mix dog of something we have no idea, up and took them home. If someone told me that from that time till 4:00 pm on Monday that those would be my final hours with my baby boy I would've done things so differently. Maybe make him take it easier, or something. He heard the mail man come (so late in the day!) got up and his back went out. He started peeing everywhere and screaming. We rushed him to the nearest emergency vet we could find, and they told us that his surgery would have cost up to $4000 (MRI included). Money we simply did not have. Plus the pain from his recovery we didn't want him to go through.

I kissed him and stroked his fur and told me what a good dog he was. My sister read the Lord's Prayer to him, and we said a prayer for him (my sis is a relaxed Christian while myself I am more agnostic than anything) with our dad who couldn't be in the room as he went to sleep. I think it was due to the vet telling us about some of the more alarming things that could come from watching him go to sleep. But I stayed, because I so did not want him to be alone and he didn't do any of those things.

Everyone, besides my mom who has this thing against emotions, are pretty torn up about it all. We're crying (my dad sniffling and looking somber) randomly, more so myself than the others. I can't even touch the fridge without crying expecting him to come up behind me and stick his head in there hoping for some ham.  I haven't been sleeping, planning to get some sleep aids to help. My boyfriend, who has been with me as long as Harvey has, is coming up to mourn with me, because he felt Harvey was his baby too.

I've never felt pain like this in my life and I so do hope that he is somewhere safe and happy and that heaven exists and that someone up there is watching over him. I'm trying to keep things together for my other dog, but she's so bummed out as well. I want to her get another buddy, but not yet, it's too soon. I am definitely pushing for pet insurance more now.

Still, I miss him so much. My baby, my son. Mommy misses you so much.

I shall post photos later. Right now, looking at them just makes me break more than I already have. A part of me died when he did.

Hi everyone. I just found this community and really, just, need someone to talk to. My dog is 15 years old, Bernese/Springer mix, and, up until a week ago, still had a shit ton of energy. He ate really well, always ran around the dog park, didn't play with other dogs but he mostly liked to keep to himself. Then about 3 or 4 days ago, my mom gave him his Frontline for flea and tick season. Ever since, he's not eating, he had diarreah this afternoon, he has no energy to run around, and he just looks so sad.

We're taking him to the vet tomorrow in hopes that they'll be able to give him some medicine and he'll be okay again. But I know he's 15 and I know he has a good, ripe life in dog years. But a week ago, he had so much energy! He looked maybe 8 or 9, tops. Our vet is always amazed by him because he's just so energetic and happy. We've had him for 13 years this month and I don't know what I'm going to do when/if he has to go. What will happen to his beds? To his toys? His biscuits?

I don't know what I'm going to do. I just wish he could stay with me forever :[

I'm so glad I found this community. I've been really torn up about the unexpected death of my 3-year old cat, Shadow, and need to share my story with people who can understand how devastating it can be to lose a pet.

On Wednesday night, as I snuggled with my cat Cleo on the couch, I heard an unusual sound. I wondered if it was connected with Cleo's purring, but quickly realized it wasn't because it was out of sync with her breath. The noise sounded like quick, labored breathing - I wondered whether it was my mom or the murmur of some sort of electronic device (air conditioner or fan). Suddenly, I heard a sustained whine. I ran upstairs to my mom's room to find Shadow on the floor with her head tilted back, mouth wide open, and producing sounds of discomfort. My mom woke up immediately and we began to panic. I ran downstairs to get the phone book to call the animal hospital. By the time I came back, Shadow was barely moving. Her head jolted backwards one last time and she became limp. I had just witnessed a beloved family member of 3 years suffer and die right in front of me. My mom and I just stood there crying in disbelief of what had happened to our cherished companion. We both felt so helpless that there was nothing to do to save her. Shadow's death was so sudden and rapid; from the start of the labored breathing, she must have died within five minutes.

I couldn't believe what had happened. There were no apparent signs that Shadow was ill or in any pain. I did notice her scratching her ear vigorously last week and checked her for ear mites, but saw nothing. When she walked away, she tilted her head a bit. Also, when I pet her a few days ago, I was surprised that she didn't purr as usual - I didn't think much of it, though. Just a few hours before she passed away, she laid on the bed next to my mom, just as she always would.

My dad, brother and I adopted Shadow and Cleo from an animal shelter on Staten Island in June of 2006. Shadow was the runt of the litter and my brother picked her out because she was so tiny and had beautiful blue-green eyes. He named her Shadow not because of her gray fur, but because she was afraid of her own shadow. As Shadow grew up, she remained petite and slim. She was a little shy, but very sweet and loyal.

After my dad passed away two months after adopting the kittens, Shadow bonded with my mom and kept her company; she chose my mom as her "favorite" in the family. Shadow slept next to my mom almost every night and covered her in sandpaper-tongue kisses. It brought me so much comfort to know that while I was away at school, Shadow was providing love and comfort to my grief-stricken mom.

I called Shadow my little drag king because she was always sporting a soft, sleek gray tuxedo. My mother endearingly gave her the title "Mon petit chou", which translates to "My little cabbage" in French.

I feel so terrible that Shadow suffered before she died, even it if was only five minutes. It was absolutely heartbreaking and traumatic to watch her pass away. My mom no longer has her loyal companion to keep her company in this lonesome house. My heart aches for Cleo, too, because I know that she will miss her sister greatly.

We had an autopsy conducted and the vet said that she had an enlarged heart. She was born with this condition and was destined to experience complications.

Right now I feel traumatized by seeing my poor baby die right before my eyes. Has anyone else experienced this? How did you heal from it?

( Rest in Peace, ShadowCollapse )

Today, my beloved tri-color Collie, Missy went to sleep to never wake up again.  She was my girl of 14 years, the first dog we got after moving to Illinois.  Her name was originally Fancy, but we changed it to the simple, Missy. 

She loved people and to be petted.  She was an excellent guard dog when needed.  She was afraid of storms and would start pacing hours before the storm would arrive.  When she was younger, she'd hid under desks and tables, and always followed us around like a shadow.  She loved to go for car rides and walk, but hated to be brushed.  She was buddies with our Sheltie, Shelby, and they looked like twins, abit a bigger and smaller set.  She liked to use her long nose to bump my arm up as a means to telling me to pet her.  She was very smart and loved sitting and shaking hands to get a treat.

She got to go on one last car ride today, with the windows down so the air could rush past her face.  I loved her and will miss her more than I can put into words.  Goodbye, my sweet girl.

My Poe died today. He was my baby. I've never cried so much in my life.
He was put to sleep at 11 years old. I miss him so much. I think, "Oh I should take Poe out, it's been-Oh...right."

It was unreal to know my pup was going to die. Like I would wake up and it would be years ago again and have him in my arms. I miss the soft short brown fur on his head when I kissed him. I regret every time I got angry with him, every time I've scolded him. I hate it, I feel like I he's going to start crying for me to take him out you know? Like I'll get up tomorrow and take him out, give him kisses, tell him good boy, "I love you"

I can't wait to see him again one day.