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you know I couldn't be a cowboy because I'd be stuck with my partner in the dead cold prairie night and our horses would be tied up and we'd be huddlin around a crudely made fire because it was too far to go back to the ranch and he'd play the sweetest song on his harmonica, the kind that you felt in your bones and your heart and that the hymns had nothin on, and then he'd finish and we'd both lean in a little too close and my hand would be on his bandanna and his whiskey-breath would be hot on my lips and I'd realize that maybe it wasn't the touch of a woman i'd been hankerin for

yeah I'll be honest I don't know wtf possessed me here

(in a room full of friends who love me) this place is a den of vipers... i can trust no one.

(in a room full of snakegirl friends who love me) this place is a den of vipers.... yay! yippee!

people throw in "not trying to be rude" at the end of the rudest thing you've ever heard as if they're trying to go "no homo" after sucking the balls too

your straight boyfriend is not FRUITY he is not a TWINK he is not GAY FOR THE STRAP he is a 25 year old heterosexual man named TYLER and his favorite hobby is playing MARVEL RIVALS

religion is so fucking funny the world is just too beautiful there must be a higher entity behind all this. lets oppress women

"when you say Religion That Oppresses Women you better not mean My Religion That Oppresses Women"

matpat should have given the pope off and not undertale

imagine a beautiful world where we could say "matpat got the pope off" . take my hand

i'm completely normal about body hair. unrelated but i thinkyou should take your shirt off. heat wave and everything yk

Dude, where’s my kissy. Where is my fuckin snuggles bro

How to spoon:

What

HOW TO SPOON

recently I've been noticing the sun setting earlier than it used to. enshittification?

am always obsessed when someone says to a character “call off your dog” about another character.

Ready for mullet fat gay cowboy to fuck me senseless and help me pay my bills

life if comes fucks me

so many people will be theoretically anti-war and some may even pay lip service to the notion of imperialism being bad, they will perhaps go so far as to say they oppose the idea US occupation. and yet still they will genuinely be shocked when you straight up hate the military in a real way, in the kind of way where you do not make excuses for or lend sympathy to anyone who enlists. they won’t follow you there. they will invoke things like poverty and ptsd and when you remain stone faced and uncompromising they will think YOU’RE the monster. and not, you know, the people who literally knowingly signed up to be a part of the mass murder machine.

like people are always talking about poverty in defense of enlisting and I just wish y’all could recognize the very simple fact that the people in the countries that United States military members are voluntarily signing up to kill are often also living in poverty and then on top of that they are having to worry about being bombed and slaughtered by the imperial poor. Like it’s just not a good excuse to offer yourself up to the murder machine. It isn’t. Of course the United States government doesn’t treat veterans well. It doesn’t treat anyone well. What do you believe veterans to have done that should entitle them to decency not afforded to anyone else? I guess personally I’d rather focus on getting EVERYONE fed and housed, focus on opposing the systems that lead to these conditions, rather than finding sympathy for those who believe they are owed a meal ticket drenched in blood.