The Period Monologues

For most of my life, you could bet money on my cycle. It was ALWAYS on time.

Then in October, I get TWO PERIODS.

Now for December, my period came 10 days early.

What the hell?!

Just goes to show that you really can't count on anything.

While traveling in India I spoke with several girls who said it's absolutely normal for their periods to cease while they're traveling.... I have always had somewhat of a regular flow and was kind of disturbed by this. I'm also disturbed by the lack of information on the internet about this phenomenon or my ability to know exactly what to look for! I did find some interesting information about how jet lag can cause disruptions to the menstrual cycle and also can lead to psychosis. Any thoughts on this?

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..

Sincerely,
Rachel

well ladies, it's now my turn to vent about my period woes.  i've got a little less than one week to go till the little white tablets of my birth control pills.  and i'm just a mess.

it started today with a childish outburst at tyler for letting the cat out of the guest room while i was vacuuming.

then it turned into an all-out argument over whether or not i should take a vacation day tomorrow because his parents are coming to visit, and they'll be here several hours earlier than we expected.  clearly, there was no possible way tyler could win this argument because 1) he can't control what time his parents decide to come and 2) i really just wanted to yell at him because now my schedule is all messed up.

and now he's off to work and i'm sitting here in tears over the virginia tech shooting.  which i guess is understandably upsetting and any normal person would have a right to cry just because a national tragedy has occurred today.  but i know i'm sitting here in tears mostly because my period is on its way.  i can tell this because while it started out with the shooting on my mind, it turned into a mental montage of all the stressful, upsetting things that have happened in my life for the past few months.

being a girl really sucks sometimes.

Over the last two days my skin has gone mad in a flurry of odd acne. I got one on my neck, then two on my cheek, one behind my ear! This isn't fair! No matter what I do there's no way to curb the pre-period breakout. I'm forced to wear makeup.

Next stop: mood swings and cravings

Have I mentioned my period lately? Well, I knew it was on it's way, but I wasn't expecting for my mood to be... . . oh man. . .


I lost it this time, I really did. Easter morning after a sunrise service and breakfast with some friends, I calmly entered my hallow and quiet apartment, threw my coat on the ground, jumped back into my bed, and sobbed and screamed and kicked my feet like a maniac for a good long while. I swore and I punched the wall and my pillow and I cried like I'm pretty sure I did when I was 14 and grounded, or 1 and hungry. Something ridiculous.

I feel slightly embarassed, but after a 4 hour nap, a giant vegan Easter dinner with the soon-to-be in-laws and my fiance's roommate n'his girlfriend, and after I reamed my darling fiance out because how-dare-he let me give up drinking when all I really really needed to make me feel better was a two gallon gin-and-tonic, easy on the tonic if you know what I mean....

I feel much better. On to better things, like eating fresh foods and getting more sleep, and hoping that next month I can avoid an outburst like that through some sort of self-inflicted hibernation of some sort....

The anticipation is KILLING Me. Well, that's quite an over-statement, but you know how every little nusaince is magnified about ten times when you are expecting your monthly flow? PMS has been very regular for me, but I didn't realize the mood swing that I'd been experiencing for years were as regular as my period. It goes like this:

Week 1: Bleeding Week: I am weepy, sore, crampy. I want to sleep a lot. I go to Whole Foods for my "PMS Stock-pile" which usually consists of chocolates, berries, mangos, bagged salads, and stinky things like garlic. Mmm.

Week 2: Relief Week: I am still weepy, but other than that, back to normal.

Week 3: Normal Week: I experience no pms symptoms or mood swings.

Week 4: PMS Week: I beging to start crying at things that touch my heart. This could be seeing a person pat a doggie on the head, watching Oprah (that always gets me), seeing a man cuddle a baby, hearing an old woman say something sweet, or perhaps finding out that there's a sale on fair-trade, organic extra-dark chocolate at the supermarket. I cry. I begin to think illogically (even insisting things that make no sense to my fiance, who is really such a trooper for putting up with me), I behave erratically, my thought patterns seem disrupted and shakey, and all I want is to get my period already so that the moods would level out a little.

That's where I am right now. Waiting for my period.
I'm going to eat chocolate now.