To all the "rednecks" in the world:
Things To Do At Wal-Mart While You Wait For Your Family To Shop
- Get boxes of condoms & randomly put them in peoples' carts when they aren't looking.
- Set all the alarm clocks to go off at 10-minute intervals.
- Make a trail of orange juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
- Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, I think we have a code 3 in housewares, and see what happens.
- Put some M&M's on lay away.
- Move CAUTION WET FLOOR signs to carpet areas.
- Set up a tent in the camping department, tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
- When someone asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, Why won't you people leave me alone.
- Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
- Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 'Mission Impossible.'
- While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
- In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
- Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through whisper PICK ME! PICK ME!!!!!
- When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the fetal position and scream NO! NO! It's those voices again!
- Go to the fitting room and yell real loud...Hey we're out of toilet paper in here!