Smartania's Pointless Live Journal Surveys|
Survey #1: For People Out of Junior High School
SECTION ONE: CHILDHOOD ASPIRATIONS AND PORN
1. YOUR LIFE ASPIRATION AS A CHILD: I really didn't have one.
2. YOUR VIEWS ON YOUR CHILDHOOD LIFETIME ASPIRATIONS: I don't think kids understand the world enough to know anything about what they really aspire to do.
3. COULD YOU SEE THOSE SAME ASPIRATIONS AS A PORN MOVIE? this doesn't fit with my other answers at all.
4. HOW FAR IS YOUR CURRENT STATION IN LIFE FROM THOSE CHIDHOOD ASPIRATIONS? again, see above.
5. WOULD YOU RATHER JUST BE A PORN STAR? That might not be feasible, but I would take my current life over porn I think.
6. IF YOU WERE IN PORN, WHAT KIND OF PORN WOULD YOU MAKE? Pretty standard I think, not anything that requires much of a fetish.
7. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL YOUR PORN MOVIE? I am beginning to think I could have chosen a better survey to fill out.
8. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB/CAREER (INCLUDING PORN) WHAT WOULD IT BE? I think my dream job is as a party strategist or to work directly under some hero of mine being trained to take over for them when they are finished. DK comes to mind as a feasible goal.
9. AMATEUR PORN FOR HOME USE, YES OR NO? Sure, but not unless you are both pleasing enough to look at.
SECTION TWO: WORK AND JESUS
1. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? No.
2. WHEN DO YOU CALL ON GOD MORE, DURING SEX OR WHEN FRUSTRATED? Never actually counted either way, probably more when frustrated, just because it happens more often.
3. IF GOD ACTUALLY SHOWED UP WHILE YOU WERE SAYING "OH, GOD" IN BED, WHAT EXACTLY WOULD YOU DO? thats just an odd question. I'd probably have a heart attack and die from overstimulation.
4. QUIET. NO ONE'S LOOKING. ACROSS FROM YOU IS YOUR FRIEND THE WANNABE HIPPY, WICCAN, SAVE THE DOLPHINS FROM THE WHALES, BAN BRAS, MOTHER EARTH, CALL ON THE GODDESS SORT OF PERSON. YOU HAVE THIS SINGLE CHANCE TO DO/SAY ANYTHING TO THEM WITHOUT ANYONE KNOWING IT WAS YOU. WHAT DO YOU DO? Say hello, I don't get the question. I have no malice towards these people.
6. WHILE AT WORK, YOUR EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS COWORKER PROCEEDS TO ENGAGE YOU ABOUT YOUR LACK OF RELIGION, WHAT DO YOU DO? Debate on it untill I feel the discussion is dead, and then after that if they insist on talking I act in ways that are against their beliefs enough for them to give up on trying to save me.
7. YOU'VE BEEN LEFT BEHIND AND THE END IS NIGH. PANIC, FIND JESUS, OR PARTY? To be honest, I'd panic. If I had my way I'd party though.
8. YOUR FIRST THOUGHTS UPON ARRIVING AT WORK - Only because of my current work, they include thoughts of deep sadness and anger.
9. YOUR LAST THOUGHTS BEFORE LEAVING WORK - Finally
10. APPROXIMATE TIME YOU START COUNTING HOW LONG UNTIL LUNCH - about 15 minutes till lunch starts, or when the person who has to relieve me for lunch leaves for their lunch, depending on whether they are someone I trust to come back in time or not.
11. COFFEE AT WORK. YES, NO, OR THE WORLD WILL END WITHOUT IT? Yes usually. I don't get enough sleep and coffee is pretty much an everywhere thing.
12. YOUR SALARY. UNDERPAID, ADEQUATELY PAID, OR PLEASE GOD LET ME WIN THE LOTTERY? currently, underpaid.
13. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY AT YOUR JOB IF YOU WERE JESUS? Stupid questions, I don't find this survey funny, why am I doing it? Yes I think so.
14. WOULD YOU MAKE MORE MONEY IF YOU SLEPT WITH THE BOSS? Yes
15. IS MAKING MORE MONEY WORTH SLEEPING WITH THE BOSS? No
SECTION THREE: SPIRITUAL, SEXUAL HODGEPODGE OF LIFE
1. DO YOU HAVE A CAR? No
2. IF SO, DO YOU LOVE YOUR CAR? N/A
3. IF YOU'RE A NAMER OF CARS, WHAT DID YOU NAME IT? N/A
4. HAVE YOU BEEN SEXUAL IN YOUR CAR? N/A
5. ON YOUR CAR? N/A
6. WITH YOUR CAR? N/A
7. LUBE. YES, NO, OR WHOOHOOOO? Yes, but not car.
8. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HEAVEN YOU GET TO CHOOSE TO BE ANY ANIME CHARACTER. WHO DO YOU CHOOSE? Weird question, depends on the anime.
9. YOU'VE JUST DIED AND HAVE DISCOVERED THAT IN HELL YOU SUCK GWB'S COCK. HOW LONG UNTIL YOU REPENT? I would consider that hell, and I try to lead a life to avoid it.
10. CONSIDER YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT HUMAN. WORTH DYING FOR? Yes
11. WORTH SITTING THROUGH A SEASON OF SURVIVOR FOR? Yes, but they wouldn't make me.
12. IF THEY'RE WORTH DYING FOR, BUT NOT WATCHING SURVIVOR FOR, WOULD THEY ASSIST YOU IN THE STALKING AND MURDER OF EVERYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE CREATION OF SURVIVOR? If I had sufficient need.
13. YOU'RE STUCK ON AN ISLAND WITH YOUR LOVER/SPOUSE/BUTT BUDDY AND ONE ITEM. WHAT ITEM IS IT? Luxury Yacht?
14. YOUR LOVER HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A CHICKEN. NOW WHAT? I agree with the next question.
15. THE FUCK? CHICKEN? Exactly, what the hell.
16. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION With someone I care about. No, I won't cop out like that, I like it when a girl can ride me.
17. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WHEN YOU HAVE RUGBURN ON YOUR KNEES - ok, thats not even worth answering.
18. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A CHICKEN - see above.
19. FAVORITE SEXUAL POSITION WITH A RACING CHICKEN THAT'S SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE THE DAMNED FINAL FANTASY BIRDS? Chocobo? sex with chocobos? the person that wrote this survey may need some counseling.
20. HOW MANY HOURS HAVE YOU PERSONALLY SPENT INVOLVED IN THE BREEDING OF SAID DAMNED FF BIRDS? on final fantasy games? I dunno, a few, maybe 10 hours at most.
21. DID IT TURN YOU ON OR JUST MAKE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE? Definitely neither.
SECTION FOUR: GOD DAMNED STUPID SHIT
1. PICK A COLOR blue
2. PICK A CONDOM twisted pleasures
3. PICK A SONG Zero Friction
4. PICK A VACATION DESTINATION Bahamas
5. CAN YOU ENVISION YOURSELF HAVING SEX WITH THE COLORED CONDOM YOU CHOSE IN THE DESTINATION YOU PICKED WHILE LISTENING TO SAID SONG? Sure
6. NEW LAW DICTATES THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GAI AND SILLY INTERNET CYBERPET OR YOU'LL HAVE YOUR GENITALS REMOVED WITH A RED HOT POKER AND A SPOON. WHAT DO YOU PICK? Don't know much about the first option but I think I'll choose it.
7. BIRD OR FISH? Fish
8. THE ABOVE-AS A PET OR AS DINNER? either.
9. WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT - doing stupid surveys.
10. WHAT YOU SUCK AT - avoiding wasting my time
11. WHAT YOU REALLY FUCKING SUCK AT - BTW, this survey was an example of the previous questions.