A Passionate Life

He opened the door to find her nervously juggling her baby son on her lean hip. The little infant was red-faced and squalling like he was in pain.

 

Jake immediately and wordlessly reached for the little boy and laid him down on the big exam table. He looked at Sam under his eyelashes briefly before taking out his stethoscope and pressing it underneath the baby’s little blue tee-shirt.

 

“What’s … what’s wrong with him?” Sam asked and he thought how he had never truly seen her afraid before. Through all the painful fertility treatments, through the unexpected bleeding and cramping at four months, he had never her seen her so close to coming unglued. “You have to help him.”

 

“I will but honestly why didn’t you go to see his pediatrician? I make babies for lack of a better term, not treat them.”

 

“I know,” Sam acknowledged as she reached out and gently squeezed her son’s little hand. “But I really don’t trust her. Not the way I trust you.”

 

“Has he gotten all his shots yet?” Jake asked.

 

“He was supposed to go in in two days for the rest of them but … Ohmigod did I make my baby sick?”

 

Jake shook his head. “Hardly. From what I can tell he’s got whooping cough. We’ll check him into St. Ambrose and give him antibiotics. We’ll monitor him. But Sam, you have to relax, okay? He is going to be just fine. I wouldn’t have it any other way for my favorite patient.”

 

XoXoXo

 

Her son was soon sleeping peacefully in a little crib in an isolated room in St. Ambrose Hospital’s NICU. Sam sat beside baby Daniel, gently running her fingers through his whole three blonde hairs. She felt tears in her eyes as she watched him. His breathing was stabilized but she couldn’t help but blame herself for this. Maybe some greater force was punishing for all the truly horrible things she had done in the past.

 

She heard someone clear their throat and looked up to see Jake proffering her a paper cup full of steaming coffee. She gratefully accepted it and whispered, “Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.” He moved over to Daniel and examined him as he talked to Sam gently. “He’s going to be fine, Sam. You have to know that. You’re a good mom. We caught it early enough that there was no serious damage done.”

 

“But I couldn’t help him,” Sam protested. “He was so scared and I just felt … Helpless. All I could think was, ‘I need to get him to Jake. Jake can fix him like he tried to fix me’.”

 

Jake shook his head and gently tucked the covers back over the sleeping infant before moving over to Sam. He pulled over a chair from the corner and slid it in front of her, so they were practically knee-to-knee. “Sam, I never tried to fix you. You weren’t broken.”

 

Sam looked up at Jake then, noticed his warm chocolate eyes full of care and concern. And genuineness. She felt like crying anew but held it in. “I feel broken, sometimes I really do,” she admitted. “And you helped me have a baby when I had given up all hope, when I lost my husband because he didn’t want a child with me …”

 

Jake nodded and reached for her hand, wrapping his long, tapered and calloused fingers around her much more delicate ones. “That guy was a fool. I told you that before. If I had a woman like you in my life, I would have had ten kids with her by now.” He smiled then. “If that sounded like a come on, it wasn’t. Not really.” He quirked a smile at her. “Just know that you are not broken, Sam, you are not damaged. If you were I couldn’t have helped you. I try to heal people but most of the time they do all the heavy lifting. Which you did.”

 

Sam looked over at her son again. He looked so angelic, so perfect. How did she ever deserve such a wonderful gift? Truthfully, she didn’t. And she was scared to death she was going to mess him up somehow, irrevocably.

 

“I didn’t know how to help my son,” Sam said. “What kind of mother doesn’t know how to help her sick child?”

 

“You did help him. You got him here and you got him medical attention. There’s nothing else that could have been done. I am just glad you trusted me enough to take care of your boy.”

 

“I do trust you,” Sam said, meeting his eyes. “I really do. And I haven’t really trusted anyone before. Whenever I tried to, it always blew up in my face. But you didn’t let me down. You even put up with my crazy mood swings when I was getting the shots every other week.”

 

“That’s my job,” Jake said. “And believe me, I’ve dealt with worse.”

 

“Worse than me throwing a tantrum one minute and crying in a corner the next like a sad sap?”

 

“Well you never threw a chair at my head.”

 

Sam laughed in spite of herself. “No one did that to you.”

 

“Yeah but only because the bed pan didn’t make a dent in my thick skull.”

 

Sam giggled. “I didn’t know being a doctor was so dangerous.”

 

“You have no idea,” he said, his eyes twinkling. He then watched her eyes move back to her son. “He’s going to be okay. He has the best mother he could ask for.”

 

“I don’t believe that but … Thanks… Did I ever thank you for giving me this present – this gift? My son is my whole world and I love him so much.”

 

“You did thank me … About a hundred times.”

 

“But I feel like I still owe you so much…”

 

Jake squeezed her hand again. “You more than paid your dues, Sam. Literally. In fact, I just might buy a yacht with the money you forked over.”

 

Sam laughed. “Oh. Have fun with that.”

 

“I will,” Jake said. “I am thinking of finding some tall, leggy blonde to be my first mate. What do you think?”

 

“I think you’re … You, Jake. If that makes any sense.”

 

“Oddly enough, it does,” he said. He then gestured to her untouched cup of coffee on the side table. “Drink up. It’s getting cold.” He then stood. “I’ll come check on him in a little bit.”

 

“Thanks,” she said. “Again.”

 

“You’re welcome,” he replied. “Again.”

 

XoXoXo

 

Daniel went home the following week with his happy mother. Jake had given Sam a pep talk or two about not blaming herself for everything and then sent her on her way, assuming he wouldn’t see her again anytime soon.

 

But two weeks later he opened his office door to find Sam sitting on his exam room table. She was dressed in jeans and a sweater but had never looked more attractive to him. 

 

He smiled widely. “Here for another baby already?”

 

She shook her head. “No. Danny is keeping me busy enough.”

 

“Where is the little guy today?”

 

“With his grandma. She once said she was too young to be a grandmother but she loves Danny so much. She insisted I get out of the house and let her babysit. I had no choice in the matter.”

 

“So you came here? No shopping on Rodeo Drive or going to a club and meeting some hunky twenty-something guy who can rock your world?”

 

Sam smirked. “You are so inappropriate.”

 

“I know,” he agreed. “But seriously what brings you by?”

 

“I have been wanting to ask you something actually. And I keep trying to think of the best way to do it but I never figured it out. Still, I just got in my car this afternoon and started driving and it’s like the wheels of my car brought me here without my really –“

 

Jake held up a hand. “Sam, stop rambling. Tell me what you want to ask me.”

 

“Sorry. Bad habit,” she said and blushed a little. “I know this probably seems very out of the blue and very inappropriate but I kind of miss our interactions and –“

 

“Sam, you’re rambling again.” He smiled. “Let me ask you a question instead.”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Are you trying to ask me out?”

 

Sam looked sheepish. “Yes but it was a bad idea. I shouldn’t have come here; I am sorry. You have other patients that really need you.” She started to hop off the table but Jake was suddenly in front of her, his minty breath warm on her cheek.

 

“Hey give a guy a chance to answer,” he said in a low voice. “Personally I would like to go out with you. I have never had a girl ask me but it’s a nice change of pace.”

 

“Too forward?” Sam asked as his lips hovered over hers.

 

“Nah. I liked it,” he said and then he reached out and tucked a long strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “Now do I have to ask your permission to kiss you?”

 

“No,” Sam said and her breath hitched in her throat as he slowly gathered her in his arms, and pressed his lips to hers. 

 

It was an insanely good kiss. And when he pulled away, she could tell by the fire in his eyes that he had liked it too.

 

“So I have to ask,” Jake said as he tucked her into his body. “What makes you want to date me? Is it my debonair personality, my insanely good looks, my wit, my charm –“

 

Sam laughed and turned in his arms until she was spooned into the length of his body. “All of the above but mostly it was you saying I wasn’t broken. I have never been around a man who hasn’t wanted to save me from myself; who hasn’t wanted to help repair me.”

 

“They were idiots. I like you just the way you are,” Jake said and he nuzzled her neck with his lips. “In fact, I think you’re rather spectacular.”

 

Sam smiled. “I think the same about you. And thanks again for making all my dreams come true.”

 

He kissed her earlobe and whispered, “Trust me. I am just getting started.”

 

FINIS