I had a feeling this week was going to not go well. It just... went way downhill at once on Sunday night.

A couple weeks ago I picked up Boomer (who hates being picked up) to do her nail trim and felt a very hard, very large mass in her lower abdomen. She was eating and drinking and using the litterbox fine, so it didn't seem to be a digestive thing like a blockage or stasis. And I got her 8 years ago, and she was fully grown then, so she was almost certainly 9, which is a pretty good old age for a bun.

So I had some idea what I was dealing with, and when I called the vet and they didn't have an opening for a non-emergency for two more weeks, I was like... well, yeah, almost certainly what's going to happen there is that they will confirm what I already suspected and maybe there will be something they can prescribe to give her a little more time, but probably not.

Sunday night before bed, though, Boo was still acting normal but every breath was visible and audible because she was kind of gasping every time she breathed. And this was just freaking fantastic timing because I had to be up at 6:30 to move my car out into the street because I was getting a new roof put on the house starting at around 7. (And I will get into THAT mess later.) But at least I would be up to call the vet as soon as they opened at 8.

Vet could squeeze in an emergency visit at 11:30, but... I mean, I knew how this was almost certainly going to end, so I spent all morning giving Boo her favorite treats and sitting down so she could give me kisses and I could give her kisses back, and then put her in her carrier and recognized that I was probably not going to be bringing her home again.

And yeah, the vet visit went exactly how I expected, except possibly that the vet I saw was one I've been seeing at that clinic for 20 years, who knows me and knows how I am with my rabbits and gave it to me straight since well, obviously I already knew what was up. And also the tech was so sweet and brought in some yogurt drops I could offer her, and the fact that Boo did try to eat one of the orange-flavored ones but stopped after just a couple bites just sort of proved this was how it had to be.

I'm kind of astonished that after 35 years and 17 bunnies this is the first time I've ever actually had to make the decision. Usually they go really fast once they know it's time, they hang on just long enough for me to get to them and hold them and say goodbye. But Boo has always been a little fighter.

Anyway... Video of Boo doing the thing I miss most, as she did this every morning to greet me and every time I bent down to face her in "her" room. I've since moved Sage into that room, since she was in an enclosure in the living room (she is my smallest bun, and that enclosure was built to house three buns who were larger than she was) and now she has a room to herself again.

And I still have Oscar (which honestly is still mind-blowing after what happened last summer), Sage, Logan, and Milo - and as I told the vet and some others in the aftermath, as much as I miss my fierce little warrior girl, there's some other bun who will need me too, and since I can't have every bun in the world with me forever all at once, at least now I have room for one (or two) more when they cross my path.

...And as noted above, that was naturally the day I was supposed to have a new roof put on the house starting at 7am, so I had to get up at 6:30. They were not there by 7, or 8 when I called the vet, or at 11am when I left for the vet. My dad was arranging this and apparently the shingles and panels were going to be delivered around noon, and so the workers would arrive a little before that to start tearing the old roof off in preparation for the new shingles?

Well they showed up while I was at the vet, just in time to take a lunch break after doing other houses earlier this morning I guess. So I had to get up at 6:30, work, use a long lunch break for the most excruciating vet visit ever, and come home... and shortly after that I had people walking around on my roof banging on things and tearing things and using noisy power tools, while I was exhausted and dehydrated and stressed beyond belief, and trying to do my job, for the rest of the day. But I do at least have a new roof on the house now and hopefully the living room ceiling will no longer leak every time it rains.

But that was my Monday and just... screw any intentions I had.

I had planned to basically take a week of hiatus from even trying to write anything remotely seriously, especially more moonsky, because I am enjoying myself but I feel like I'm pissing off all but like 4 people in the fandom, because nearly every other fic being posted is Kotetsu/Barnaby smut (or the occasional fluff) which all gets dozens of hits/kudos within a couple hours, so it's obvious what the fandom actually wants to see. And unlike Vagrant Story, there are actually people looking for fics in the Tiger & Bunny section on a daily basis so there are people who might actually be annoyed by my rarepair nonsense.

But since I was stressed and miserable and needed distraction I wound up working far more seriously than I had intended on this self-indulgent idea I had about... well, heh, one of the few other moonsky fics out there had Yuri and Keith get together after Yuri (having a sweet tooth and all) can't resist the pudding cups at a party and Keith drives him home, hahahah. And while that is a cute/amusing idea and makes sense in the context of that fic, my immediate thought was "Oh gosh no. No, Yuri accidentally getting drunk would be a very, very bad idea if it was the Yuri I write, and it would not be cute or amusing for very long at all. What a disaster. ...Oh hey, I like to write disasters."

Well due to stress I basically just let the "self-indulgent" idea go straight to the iddiest idfic ever with as much h/c and tropes and Keith being Goodest Boi as possible so... I mean I obviously am pleased with it? But it's so idtastic that it kinda veers around like "lulz->uh-oh->oh noooooo->awwwwww->lulz" so I have no idea if I should post it. :P

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"Will you allow me to take off your belt as well? Once again, only to make you comfortable."

"...Fine..." Yuri's answer came as a vague murmur, but it was in the affirmative, so Keith reached for the buckle. He'd unlatched it and was sliding it free of the belt loops in Yuri's trousers when Yuri spoke again. "Why?"

"Why what?" Keith set the belt aside at the foot of the bed and looked up at Yuri curiously.

Yuri was peering at him listlessly from between his fingers. "Why are you... doing this?"

"Because I love you," Keith answered without hesitation, shifting on the bed to face Yuri. "And because I want you to be comfortable. And also because you will let me, and-" Keith had only just realized something. "You're always caring for your mother. But does anyone ever care for you?"

"...It's unnecessary." But Yuri drew in a deep breath, closing his eyes again, and Keith thought he saw a wet shine at the corners.

It wasn't Keith's intention to upset Yuri, or make him feel bad in any way, so he supposed he shouldn't argue the point that at this particular moment, obviously it was necessary. "Now may I remove your tie?" he asked, scooting up further towards the pillows. "If you want a looser shirt or pants to sleep in, I can help with that too."

"You shouldn't be doing this," Yuri mumbled.

"If it bothers you, I'll stop," Keith assured him. Though there was a part of him that not only didn't want to stop, but wanted to do a lot more. Even so, this was not the time, and Keith knew it.

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