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being aro in fandom is wild because you'll say literally anything about how you wish fandom wasn't so obsessed with shipping and that they should perhaps think about the actual source material once in a while and people will act like you personally just shot their dog in front of them
they'll immediately jump to calling you homophobic and telling you that it's fandom culture as if that makes it immune to criticism like! you might not be ready for this but i think fandom culture isn't perfect and perpetuates some harmful ideas! why are we treating fandom like it's religion or something can we be real about this
Earlier today, I served as the “young woman’s voice” in a panel of local experts at a Girl Scouts speaking event. One question for the panel was something to the effect of, “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”
I was surprised when the first panelist answered the question as if it were about cyberbullying. The adult audience nodded sagely as she spoke about the importance of protecting children online.
I reached for the microphone next. I said, “As far as reading your child’s texts or logging into their social media profiles, I would say 99.9% of the time, do not do that.”
Looks of total shock answered me. I actually saw heads jerk back in surprise. Even some of my fellow panelists blinked.
Everyone stared as I explained that going behind a child’s back in such a way severs the bond of trust with the parent. When I said, “This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything,” it was like I’d delivered a revelation.
It’s easy to talk about the disconnect between the old and the young, but I don’t think I’d ever been so slapped in the face by the reality of it. It was clear that for most of the parents I spoke to, the idea of such actions as a violation had never occurred to them at all.
It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people.
Apparently people are rediscovering this post somehow and I think that’s pretty cool! Having experienced similar violations of trust in my youth, this is an important issue to me, so I want to add my personal story:
Around age 13, I tried to express to my mother that I thought I might have clinical depression, and she snapped at me “not to joke about things like that.” I stopped telling my mother when I felt depressed.
Around age 15, I caught my mother reading my diary. She confessed that any time she saw me write in my diary, she would sneak into my room and read it, because I only wrote when I was upset. I stopped keeping a diary.
Around age 18, I had an emotional breakdown while on vacation because I didn’t want to go to college. I ended up seeing a therapist for - surprise surprise - depression.
Around age 21, I spoke on this panel with my mother in the audience, and afterwards I mentioned the diary incident to her with respect to this particular Q&A. Her eyes welled up, and she said, “You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?”
TL;DR: When you invade your child’s privacy, you communicate three things:
Information about almost every issue that you think you have to snoop for can probably be obtained by communicating with and listening to your child.
Part of me is really excited to see that the original post got 200 notes because holy crap 200 notes, and part of me is really saddened that something so negative has resonated with so many people.
“200 notes”
[SpongeBob Narrator voice] Ten Years Later
Also consider the fact that that’s not only violating that kid’s privacy, but the privacy of everyone they’re texting with
Oh jesus, I thought this person was exaggerating until I dared try this out of morbid curiosity. I hate the state of society 🤮
[ID 1 and 2 are a pair of screenshots of google searches showing the preview for the AI overview, juxtaposed to the difference between the two.
in the first one the search is "a woman touched my face". the AI overview reads: "a woman touching your face is a very personal and intimate gesture. it usually means she feels a strong close bond, comfort, or romantic interst in you, though the exact meaning depends heavily on the specific situation and how well you know her."
in the second one the search is: "a trans woman touched my face". the AI overview reads: "unwanted physical contact, including someone touching your face without your permission, is a violation of personal boundaries regardless of who initiates it or their gender identity."
ID 3: a comment by @/pressedflorals483729 reads: "now try "a black woman touched my face!"". they respond to their own comment with: "it told me to "take a step back to create safe physical space between you and the other person" and move to a public space and call the police. lol. lmao. ha".
end ID.]
When you’re at the bus stop on time: bus schedules are more like guidelines than hard rules, really. You will sit in the 90 degree heat for an extra 15 minutes past the scheduled arrival time wondering if the bus has decided to just skip today and you will like it.
When you are running even a single minute late: the noble city bus has a schedule to keep and it will dally not a single second longer. Be better
When you’re at the bus stop on time: bus schedules are more like guidelines than hard rules, really. You will sit in the 90 degree heat for an extra 15 minutes past the scheduled arrival time wondering if the bus has decided to just skip today and you will like it.
When you are running even a single minute late: the noble city bus has a schedule to keep and it will dally not a single second longer. Be better
All binder sites (at least for the US) are now having to put this disclaimer right before you enter the site
The amount of trans youth that are going to be denied a possibly life saving item because of (what I assume) discriminatory laws being passed. It deeply saddens me
i love wishing people luck for very mundane tasks that dont really require luck. going to the bathroom? good luck with that. making a sandwich? im crossing my fingers for you. need to change your shirt? i hope it works out exactly how you imagined.
