You'll never know what would happen...

I started beauty school last Monday (Nov. 13), and omg do I love it! Well, I hate the fact that it's a bunch of girls and the teacher's really really ditzy, but it's all good. I get along with the people I talk to, and I try to talk to the other people when I can... sometimes I just don't know what to say though. There is one guy in there... Alex. He's in a band with old boyfriend, AJ. It was crazy when I asked him if he played in a band like one/cycle//occur and he screams out "OMG THAT'S MY BAND! YOU KNOW AJ?!" Like... holy shit, my ex-boyfriend. Also, Lexi, the singer of the band I was in... she's in that class too. I thought it would be somewhat awkward and bad with her in there, but it's not bad at all. I mean, that was almost 5 years ago and people change. What's the point of making it awkward when it doesn't have to be?

BELLA IS FINALLY ONE! I can't believe it was only a year ago that I was having her. It's amazing how much she's grown since then. She's talking now... don't really know what she's saying, but she's trying! She says "Ashey" and "dog" and "duck" now. She understands a lot more than she can say. She's walking EVERYWHERE, she has 12 teefers now that HURT LIKE HELL when she clamps down on your shoulder. She weighs 20 lbs andis 27 1/2 inches long. She's sleeping the whole night and putting herself to sleep and easily entertains herself. She eats regular food mostly now, instead of baby food. She takes big girl baths in the bathtub, has a big girl car seat facing forward. And she KNOWS what she wants, unlike her mother. She points to exactly what she wants and if you give her something else, she pushes it outta the way and keeps pointing at what she wants. Oh... she's just so wonderful and adorable. She's just a little ham too, posin' for the camera. She'll be playing and I'll get her attention to take a picture. She gets this HUGE smile on her face, I snap the picture, then she goes back to playing. haha It's adorable. I love her so damn much.

Aaron and I are still together and better than ever. He's been extremely sweet lately since I've started school and we're not spending every single night together. Bella and I are going up to Mickey D's to see him in about 45 minutes. He layed there cuddling with me almost all Friday night just saying, "I love you." Of course, we were talking about other stuff too and goofin' off messin' with each other... but if there every was a couple seconds of silence he'd say it. And just the way he looks at me lately... I can't help but to just smile.

La... CALL ME BACK WHEN YOU CAN! Especially call me this weekend when you are in town. You HAVE to see Bella.

Alright... well, I'm peacin' out. I gotta get ready to go up to Mickey D's, and then I have some studying to do for an Electricity test. Don't even ask me why we have a test on that in beauty school...

So I went to the bowling alley with a bunch of people from Mickey D's around 10:30 even though I probably could've fallen asleep standing up. I haven't really gotten much sleep the past couple days because Bella wakes up and decides it's play time for about 2 or 4 hours. So I've gotten about 7 hours of sleep in the past 2 days. I felt like my face was all scrunched up and my eyes were glazed over. Basically, I just felt really really stoned. Everything was pretty funny, to me anyways. And my thoughts were extremely clouded. I knew what I was talking about, but I didn't know what I was saying.
People kept telling me to go home and go to sleep. I just didn't feel like it. Well, I wanted to go to sleep. But I want to start hanging out with other people and doing different things besides just going to Matt or Aaron's house and doing the same shit all the time. So I really wanted to hang out with everyone... Leah, Chrissy, Morgan, Brandon, Johnny, Kelly, Matt, Amber, Mark...

So anyways, I think tonight did me no justice with them. Some of them probably thought I was on drugs or something. I certainly felt like I was, and still kinda do. I know I looked like it. I can see black circles under my eyesa little bit, my eyelids are hanging kinda low, I was laughing about stupid shit, I had delayed reactions and didn't know what was going on most of the time, and Brandon said my pupils were really big. I'm looking in the mirror right now though and they look normal to me. Oh well... I know if you haven't gotten much sleep at all, they do get bigger.
I really wanted to go to Steak N Shake with all them, and a lot of people were telling me to go for just a little bit, but I felt really goofy and awkward, so I just came home.
That's okay. I told mom I wouldn't be out too late anyways. And I need some sleep and should be home with Bella.

I really didn't go out much this weekend. I mean, I was out doing things, but I had Bella with me most of the time I was going out. Thursday, I was only at Aaron's with Keith and Aaron watching TV for 3 hours, then Friday I went to Aaron's for about 3 1/2 hours and we played some cards and watched TV. I for real didn't talk to anyone either. Then tonight, I went to the bowling alley for about 2 hours. The latest I came home was 1:30. Yet, I still have gotten no sleep. WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!

I really should be working on my final exam stuff, but I just do NOT want to do it. There's just so much to do because I just kept putting it off. Before I knew it, there was only 2 weeks left of school, and I'm like, OH SHIT! Now I have until next Tuesday to outline all the chapters I missed in Sociology (which is a lot since my lazy ass won't get up), write 24 - 30 pgs of notes about fad diets and then compile those into an 8 - 10 page argument on why people shouldn't bother with them.

I better get on it and just work on my homework like there's no tomorrow. I want to go camping this weekend with Leah, Chrissy, and Morgan in Steelville. Well, even if I do get it pretty much done, I still don't know if I'd have a babysitter.

Oh... so I feel totally stupid trying to hang out with Matt and Aaron now. Keith was talking about me, and they started telling him I go over there 3 or 4 times a week all the time, which I did that 2 weeks, and Keith says I act like I go out only once a week. Then they say something about me not going to my Sociology class, and Keith says I tell him I go all the time. And they say I'm always with Brandon and we're always hanging out, which I give Brandon a ride there if he needs one when I'm going over there, and give him a ride home b/c I'm usually the last one to leave. They made it sound like I broke up with Keith for Brandon. Now I know why Keith kept asking about how many condoms I had left and if he could see the box, and how I was getting by without sex and blah blah blah.
They're probably thinking I'm a huge liar now, and a slut, and a ruthless bitch only caring about myself and what I want. Which that's totally off. It pisses me off that Aaron was off telling Keith shit, and it pisses me off that Matt tells Keith things I've said. Oh... and they told him I was telling everyone in the store that he hopes I die, and the rest of the conversation and what I said about it. I have a fucking right too. I for real don't even want to even try to hang out with them anymore. I start getting comfortable with some people and BAM! I'm fucking attacked about doing this shit by someone who isn't even my boyfriend anymore yet they still fucking tell him. Whatever... that's just fucked up.

Anyways... I'm gonna finally go to sleep. I can't even think right now... so if some of this stuff was said more than once, or just made no sense what-so-ever, I'm sorry. I'm really fucking tired!

I really need some alcohol. I swear... I feel like I'm going to kill someone. Of course, the people I know who are drinking right now won't fucking answer the fucking phone! They can go fuck themselves. Lucky me... I get to go up to Mickey D's... AGAIN... and be the fucking loser that works there but goes up there because she's fucking bored on a Saturday night. Shit... I did it last night too. God... I fucking hate this right now.

Yeah, so I got my hair done today... daddy's treat. It looks AWESOME!!! OMG I love it! I went up to work afterwards and was like, "Hey... you like my hair? You wanna feel it?" haha And then I went to class and I had most of the guys staring at me 'cause I had my hair all done and I was dressed up. It was pretty cool.

Anyways, nothing really has been going on. Just work and school, and of course... the love of my life... Bella! Although I did go to Target to buy her an Exersaucer, and there were no toys in it, and I pulled out the bottom and it was all scratched up, and I looked at the top, and it was DIRTY! I was so pissed. I had to take it back up there, and the person I was giving it to didn't even care. I read the return policy, and everything was supposed to be new, unused, and everything had to be there. Obviously they don't check their returns!

I ran 4.5 miles yesterday in 56 minutes. That's pretty good for me. The longest before that was 4 miles, and I did that in 58 minutes. Hopefully I'll be ready to run 6 miles on April 9th!

Eh... I really have nothing much else to say. So peace out.

Some people are just plain fucked up in the head... I swear.

I don't know why I said I'd work until I went into labor. I mean, it's only 1 or 2 days out of the week after this week, but still. I'm so sick of working.

My daddy called me today to tell me he was coming into town... today. I ended up telling work I would be there late, and me and him went to Babies R Us and bought a glider. It's pretty nice too. It'll be wonderful when I'm rocking her to sleep, or when I'm feeding her.

My brother's out of jail. He's on house arrest though, and he has to wear one of those ankle bracelet things, that tracks wherever he goes. It's good for him. However, I don't like that he's possibly facing 10 years to life in prison. He doesn't deserve all that.

The office is finally moved downstairs, which is awesome. We just have to paint the babies room, then start moving everything into there. I'm so ready for her to come out! Mentally? I don't know about that one. But I'm definitely ready physically.

You know what I don't understand? How extremely obese people can't afford diet pills that are about $60. They can afford $60 worth of food in 2 or 3 days. They can afford to go to a fast food restaurant and spend $20 of food, just on them. But they can't afford diet pills that will last them for a while, so that they can lose weight. Just doesn't make sense to me.

Besides that I HATE McDonalds.

So I tried to call into work today because, basically, I felt like straight ASS! And that's to put it nicely. However, NO ONE would work for me. Actually, Chris would have, but Susan (the pregnant manager) said no b/c he wasn't as good as I was at doing drive thru. Which I totally thought that was bullshit. Then Crystal said she would come in at 5, but then after she said she might be able to do that, she wouldn't answer her phone. And even ERVIN, the guy who ALWAYS wants to come in and work, said he couldn't do it. Chrissy SO should have worked for me b/c I ALWAYS took her shift when she had something going on and she's the reason why I work on Sundays now, but she didn't feel like it. Seriously, is EVERYONE an fucking asshole about it? I'm pregnant and I don't feel well AT ALL... that's worse than being sick and on your period.

People in drive thru were being straight assholes too. A bunch of people tried getting free food. Then some guy honked at the window while I'm standing right there, and said "Um... aren't we supposed to get some napkins?" I was polite about it and said, "I'm really sorry. They're supposed to put them in there." But of course, he HAD to try to tell me how to do MY job (not his but MINE!) and say, "Well, you need to check that before you hand out the food." Fuck him. For all I care, he could get shit all over his pants and shirt and face, and walk around like that. Me, not feeling well, was a dickhead right back saying, "Well, if you weren't so messy, then you wouldn't need the napkins that bad," after I handed him the food, and slammed the window shut. I think he was pretty pissed about that, but he didn't call to complain or anything, so whatever.

I think Susan was suprised when I said, "I'm about to jump out this fucking window and kill someone," 'cause as soon as that was said, I was put on break.

I swear, I'm doing alright! ...mmmmm This Tropical Mixed Fruit thing is HELLAAAAAAAAAAAA good. It's Del Monte, Sunfresh! Oh! And Wesley made me some AWESOME mac n cheese. OMG! Speaking of that, I'm totally going to heat some up right now and eat it.

I totally shouldn't be up this early. But I was taking Keith to work, and his stomach decided to be all fucked up, so he threw up on his pants, then threw up hellas outside. I know he's okay NOW... but they told him to call in a bit. I'm staying up to wash his pants so he can HOPEFULLY go back into work. I know he doesn't feel like working today, but for real... who does? Definitely not me! I really don't think he was trying to throw up... but you can never be sure. I just hope he goes back into work today. I know that sounds bad 'cause he was just puking everywhere... but it's b/c of his damn Crohn's. Once he pukes, he's fine! We were just coming home to wash his damn pants.

OMG I swear it was so damn nasty. I was gagging.

I was having a pretty tight dream that instead of getting the stupid barbie or car with the Happy Meals at Mickey D's, we got a phat ass stereo system. It was pretty tight b/c I totally got one. I said fuck working at the time, and played with my new stereo, listening to Li'l John in the middle of the restaraunt.

I just realized Cali has really scrawny legs for how fat she is. She'd be another Big Bird if she was human.

Oh damn... I'm so motha fuckin' tired 'cause I took a Tylenol PM right before I attempted to take Keith to work.

Mom was trying to get Isabella to kick. Didn't work though, as if it ever does. Any time someone puts their hand on my belly, besides me, she doesn't move at all. I think she's shy. They'll be able to feel her prolly around next month, when there begins to be almost NO room for her to move, and she HAS to kick my belly. It was pretty cool last night whenever I put my finger on my belly and started pushing in at a hard spot, whatever I was pushing on went down as I pushed in. I know it sounds stupid, but it was so cool to feel that! Like, she was responding to me in some odd sort of way. Oh I love my baby girl! I had a dream she was the prettiest baby ever. She looked just like me when I was a baby! haha Of course she's gotta be the most beautiful baby ever! (jk jk)

Wow, my belly's HUUUUGE! You can definitely tell that I'm pregnant. The chick next door tried saying me and her daughter were right about the same, and her belly's like, TWICE as big as mine. I was just like "Well, her boobs are definitely bigger than mine."

I really for real have nothing else to say right now. I might update again, 'cause I gotta keep myself up somehow.

Dmitri's in jail until bail (which is $100,000) or until his court date. I'm thinking it'll be until his court date. He called mom and told her he was sorry for the way he treated her, and that he was sorry he didn't listen to anyone that really cared about him when they tried to tell him he was getting himself into a lot of trouble. And he signed up for NA meetings. He said something about wanting to go back to military school, or going into the marines, but with his record, he wouldn't be able to. They don't take people who have been in trouble with the law or have problems with authority. I think now that he's finally sobered up a bit, he's thinking about stuff clearly. I really hope this jail time helps him out, and I really hope he means it when he says he wants to start new.

I got called into work, of course, at 3, so I had ANOTHER 8 hour shift. God damn, my check better be FAT! 'Cause my feet are KILLING me. I woke up this morning and my feet were STILL hurting. ugh

Ew... all these girls on Elimidate are UGLY!!! They DEFINITELY shouldn't be wearing those bikinis. ha This show makes me laugh though. How the girls think they are such hot shit, and can say shit to the other but can't back it up most of the time. And the guy just sits back and watches. And he may be extremely ugly, but the girls fight over him and bicker with each other about it, and make out with him to get his attention, and his ego is just skyrocketing! Oh, the stupidity of others just makes me laugh!