Here we go
***I have not blogged in ages. I think I am going to begin once again, only to see myself from the outside looking in. I hope this could help me become a better person. I will now number each added entry, only so I can concentrate on what matters....NOW. Nothing in the past really effects me anyone, all my scars have healed, and some people have made it through time with me and have maintained to be my friends. The past is non-existent, this is what matters: the now.
8/21/05
#0001
This is obviously something I should have started a long time ago. I should have always kept track of my days and their events by journaling them. Although I prefer paper and pen, I am lazy and this is easier, safer (harder to be found) and much more organized. With the events that took place this summer I could've written 15 best sellers (not), but I could have had a lot more memories that wouldn't have gone forgotten. I have come to realize this summer that all I needed to make me healthier (mentally) is love. Michelle and my large ammount of THC intake has leveled my mood and made me more happier than any pharmie some asshole-rich doctor could prescribe. I haven't been taking my anti-depressants for months and my mood is much healthier. I don't feel like a dead man walking through a world full of life. I feel more like I am alive more so then others and that I am seeing things that anyone else could only dream. I am not talking about the drugs, I am talking about Michelle.
I could easily quit smoking cigarettes and my large pot habit, but it seems there is no reason too. Some day I may, however I doubt I'll ever quit smoking pot. I am not harming anyone but myself, if I am even harming myself at all. The only thing harmful about my current lifestyle is my 2 or 3 rolled cigarettes (with filters) a day. The additive free, all natural, organic blend of American Spirits. Arguable unhealthier (if smoked in excess), but I find it in the long run better and healthier, plus they are filtered. As apposed to over a pack a day of factory-sprayed-corporate-american cigarettes, I'll currently smoke 2-5 of my own rolled. It is much more impowering, it tastes better, and less carcinogens are entering my body and building up. I don't have my old smokers cough that I have carried for over 2 years anymore. I don't wake up and cough out crusty phlegm from my lungs in the morning and not wheeze until my first cigarette. In fact now I consciously light up ever smoke. Before it was because I needed it, now it is because I enjoy the whole experience of smoking. Anything in excess can be bad, moderate and live happier. Before I close out, here is a list of goals for my senior year of high school.
Goals
keep grades up, and give an effort
not let my personal relationship with teachers affect my performance in their class
meet new people and not limit my friends
practice more with black madonna, and get gigging again
keep michelle the closet thing to my heart
read books often, and only books i can learn/grow from
practice guitar on a very regular basis
limit my cigarette smoking during the school year
only get high a few times a week, aside from the weekend
experiment with different drugs for the experience, not to find a new staple
maintain a better relationship with my parents (more communication)
not play basketball (despite pressure) in order to fulfill the aforementioned list
Enough rambling, peace.
8/21/05
#0001
This is obviously something I should have started a long time ago. I should have always kept track of my days and their events by journaling them. Although I prefer paper and pen, I am lazy and this is easier, safer (harder to be found) and much more organized. With the events that took place this summer I could've written 15 best sellers (not), but I could have had a lot more memories that wouldn't have gone forgotten. I have come to realize this summer that all I needed to make me healthier (mentally) is love. Michelle and my large ammount of THC intake has leveled my mood and made me more happier than any pharmie some asshole-rich doctor could prescribe. I haven't been taking my anti-depressants for months and my mood is much healthier. I don't feel like a dead man walking through a world full of life. I feel more like I am alive more so then others and that I am seeing things that anyone else could only dream. I am not talking about the drugs, I am talking about Michelle.
I could easily quit smoking cigarettes and my large pot habit, but it seems there is no reason too. Some day I may, however I doubt I'll ever quit smoking pot. I am not harming anyone but myself, if I am even harming myself at all. The only thing harmful about my current lifestyle is my 2 or 3 rolled cigarettes (with filters) a day. The additive free, all natural, organic blend of American Spirits. Arguable unhealthier (if smoked in excess), but I find it in the long run better and healthier, plus they are filtered. As apposed to over a pack a day of factory-sprayed-corporate-american cigarettes, I'll currently smoke 2-5 of my own rolled. It is much more impowering, it tastes better, and less carcinogens are entering my body and building up. I don't have my old smokers cough that I have carried for over 2 years anymore. I don't wake up and cough out crusty phlegm from my lungs in the morning and not wheeze until my first cigarette. In fact now I consciously light up ever smoke. Before it was because I needed it, now it is because I enjoy the whole experience of smoking. Anything in excess can be bad, moderate and live happier. Before I close out, here is a list of goals for my senior year of high school.
Goals
keep grades up, and give an effort
not let my personal relationship with teachers affect my performance in their class
meet new people and not limit my friends
practice more with black madonna, and get gigging again
keep michelle the closet thing to my heart
read books often, and only books i can learn/grow from
practice guitar on a very regular basis
limit my cigarette smoking during the school year
only get high a few times a week, aside from the weekend
experiment with different drugs for the experience, not to find a new staple
maintain a better relationship with my parents (more communication)
not play basketball (despite pressure) in order to fulfill the aforementioned list
You scored as Cultural Creative. Cultural Creatives are probably the newest group to enter this realm. You are a modern thinker who tends to shy away from organized religion but still feels as if there is something greater than ourselves. You are very spiritual, even if you are not religious. Life has a meaning outside of the rational.
What is Your World View? (updated) created with QuizFarm.com |
Enough rambling, peace.
peaceful
confused
creative
high
tired