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< adrian ? >

@nygmatic-wound

23 | he/they | 18+ blog, mdni

i’m adrian, a finnish american film and horror enthusiast. i’m a queer trans guy and use he/they pronouns

my interests include the riddler (and dc in general), the creep franchise, religious imagery (especially st. sebastian art), hierophilia & horror media

i post a lot of sexual stuff and gore/blood so mdni pls!! this is also an anti-zionist and anti-terf account

my tags:

rant about past eating disorders coming up so don’t read ahead if that makes you uncomfy.

but oh my god this whole trans polyclinic bmi thing is really messing with my head. even though i have dysphoria, my relationship with eating and weight is probably the healthiest it has ever been. but since i found out that if i gain even just the smallest of weight from the last time i was weight at the doctor, i wouldn’t be qualified for top surgery because my bmi is too high for it. imagine going through therapy for years and finally having a really good relationship with food and then boom, yet another major loser moment from the finnish trans polyclinic. i’m happy that i’m mentally in a pretty good place so this isn’t fucking with my mind as much as it could. but i can feel the years of work trying to get to this point wanting to crack. i don’t want to go back to that mindset from middle school. i have done so much to get here

gently stroking my laptop's screen and whispering in a soft voice. you can handle 11 running tabs. you won't overheat until i tell you to, yeah? you're being such a good laptop for me. i'm going to open another tab, okay? you can take it, i believe in you.

adam wakes up, probes his side. rib gone, wound sticky. god's fingers have touched a place that will never be touched again. how does adam not curl up, swell and fall, beg god to touch him again. to touch him everywhere else. not just ribs but cheek, inner thigh, lap. the worst part of the side-wound is not that god penetrated you but that he won't do it again