seduce me with a harmony

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
heart-eyes-hollander
mutinsfromthemoon

one of the videos on the ottawa centaurs account with the most views is the one where a handful of the guys are playing football and kicking the ball to each other. one of them kicks it too hard and has to go after it and he runs out of frame, but the video keeps rolling and catches ilya pulling shane in by his waist and kissing him while shane giggles. when the player comes back, ilya backs away from shane and they both just resume playing like it’s the most natural thing in the world. and the fans in the comments absolutely lost their minds going “oh yeah the PR relationship looking a little too real” “they’re in love your honor” “omg look at shane smiling” “they love each other so much is disgusting (affectionately)” “can we talk about how lapointe is so bad at kicking ball? thank goodness he’s a hockey player” “please some of us are single” “i bet ilya sent the ball away with his mind just to have a break to kiss shane” and ilya had liked that last one.

katzen-kinder
hollanovscuckchair

thinking abt shane eating ilya out the first time and just getting lost in it. just down there for soooo long. licking and sucking and nuzzling and kissing. humping the bed beneath him, getting the sheets all wet and messy as he rolls his hips into the mattress. he's moaning. ilya's moaning. shane is probably moaning louder but ilya's moans are breathier. like he is losing his grip on himself. he's babbling russian and nonsense and shane is just kneading his ass cheeks and burying his face deeper and having the time of his life. his jaw aches, his chin is dripping saliva. he comes from humping the bed and fucking his tongue into his boyfriend's hole.

cens105
deathoftheaudience

Adding to the ranks of TLG's Schrodinger's homophobia and Schrodinger's talent of the Montreal GM i give you the Schrodinger's goodness of the Ottawa Plan. It is good for Ilya but also it is terrible for Ilya. Ottawa is a terrible team but also its not. Head in my fucking hands. Please. Please RR can you commit to something in this book I am out here with a microscope looking for coherency.

urmomisabeefjerky

I personally believe RR fucked herself up by writing Role Model first. And then everything after Role Model had to be canon, or else it was too big of a plot hole.

So while Ottawa being a shit team and 'underdogs' was better for Troy's storyline, it's completely nonsensical for Shane & Ilya's story. Just like the plane emergency landing was great for Troy & Harris' relationship, it's an absolutely insane choice for Shane & Ilya's relationship!

Same thing for Ilya's depression. Troy doesn't notice shit, and neither do any of the other characters in the 'verse, so instead, RR makes sure that Shane notices to keep the plot moving. But the only reason he notices the problem is that Ilya is overcorrecting for his sadness by being an asshole (unaffectionate). So now we get Schrödinger's Empathetic Ilya.

Nothing bad happens to any of the main white, gay hockey players, but background character Baldwin has to deal with no contract being offered to him, and Lundin has to go back to Sweden? And it doesn't make Ilya pause for a second or relate it to his/Shane's situation??? 😭 Oh brother...

Automatically, we can see that the details that are good for one character are fucking up another character's story.

Specifically, it creates a dissonance in the universe where Ilya is Schrödinger's competent-as-a-captain, has Schrödinger's perceptiveness, and Shane has Cassandra of Troy's curse cast upon him by the creative gods (RR).

deathoftheaudience

Yes yes this is exactly what I think as well! Let's all please consider how one of the reasons TLG has to be like that is because of Role Model (This is one of the reasons I keep calling it my other Personal Nemesis). RR wrote herself into a corner with that book, realised that Ottawa Plan then seems unfair for Ilya, and decided the solution is. well. that. *Points at the trainwreck that is TLG*

Ottawa being a shit team is really good for Troy's story. His trade to Ottawa is explicitly framed as a punishment because he's traded for draft picks in the middle of the season (if i remember correctly). So this ties in with his emotional state because he's at rock bottom after realising his friend is a rapist and his boyfriend breaking up with him and his franchise choosing to protect said rapist friend over him.

From a sports romance perspective, this is quite common. The sports is tied with the emotional arc of the characters. The wins often coincide with the characters overcoming their worst moments and so on. It's good! (Well the idea is good, the execution is kinda meh for me personally)

BUT this then means. means that TLG cannot escape the consequences of those decisions. It can't handwave those plot points away. So when we point at say the emergency landing and ask. why is that here it weakens the conflict so much oh my gods?? the answer is unfortunately that it happened in Role Model. (But you know they could have talked out their problems before it happened so that it is not the catalyst for the stupidest conflict resolution ever but whatever. whatever.)

Also can I say something. Can I say that Shane knowing the names of those two players who were practically blacklisted from the NHL makes my heart fucking hurt. Him tracking the news of players coming out to see what consequences they face. Him being terrified about how it could be him someday. Fuck.