pet play but you’re a fossil mollusc who needs to be cleaned and rehoused in an archival quality specimen tray

rub my exoskellayyyy

Greater glider,

teamwork makes the dream work

Baby cuttlefish attempting to camouflage for the very first time

Really enjoy when other women give me That Squinchy Look in the bathroom line, not the subtle one, the full bobblehead end to end don't care if you see attempt to appraise my provenance/assess my trajectory/determine the alignment of my star chart through the (quite frankly) inscrutable front seam of my cookman shorts. Like ma'am even if I was a man (I am not), even if that did mean I possessed some seed of unequivocal evil (it does not) and even if you could determine this by burning a hole in my crotch with your warby parkers (you cannot), what kind of erotic kicks could I possibly be getting from standing cramped against this stained wallpaper with you. Am I gonna be sacked out in bed later jerking my shit to a fine mist thinking about your adult daughter visibly practicing Irish step dance under the door of the handicapped stall of this Connecticut rest stop women's room? No, I am not.