caviar and cigarettes

( fine. i'll go first.Collapse )
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i added you both to my journal

cheers

Cinderella wanted to go to the ball, unfortunatley she was on her rag and had no tampons.

She ran into the garden and cried her little eyes out, when poof! her fairy godmother appeared.

FG "what's wrong dear?"
C "well *sniff* i want to go to the ball but i'm on my period and have to tampons"
FG "go fetch me a pumpkin"

and with the wave of her magic wand the fairy godmother turned the pumpkin into a tampon</>

FG "this is very important..at the stroke of midnight the tampon will turn back into a pumpkin you must return home before then"
C "thank you so much."

And off went Cinderella into the night

the fairygodmother sits at home impatiently awaiting Cinderellas return. the clock strike twelve, Cinderella isn't home. 1 o'clock rolls around, she's still not back. 2 o'clock. still no Cinderella. well now the fairygodmother is pissed. Finally at 2:30 Cinderella comes waltzing in.

FG "where the hell have you been??"
C "well i was on my way home...and i ran into peter peter the pumpkin eater"


and that is my one good dirty joke

[edit] so my lj cuts didn't quite work out...sorry but i spent too much time already on it. i'm not going to fix it AGAIN for the 13th time

( this took a look time, i hope you's appreciate itCollapse )

first ten to apply auto accepted, kids.