I jusy thought i would sit and write. Life is so crazy. Aj keeps saying he doesnt know if we are gonna make it or not and hes been thinking not more then we are. Its so stressful with tjings with him since we live together. It was so good when we werrnt living together. But hes also hard to live with too. I have learned different things about him that i hate and i dont know how to deal with. Im just pretty much soon going to be done with it because its to much. So let me tellbyou abouy aj. Aj use to be with my friend kerri and we just happen to fall for each other. They havent been together in over two years or more so... I lost all my friends due to the situation. I look like the homewrecker even though they werent together. Ugh i just lookblike the bad person period. I didnt even make the first move aj did i woildnt jave evet even done anything if it wasnt for him but im all to blame. I think its becoming to much this morning he was all mad because i made thebmoves on him told him i wanted him and he ignored thay fact and fell asleep in the livingroom. I was upset not like this was the firstbtime he did this. This is now the third time. Im not really one to make the first moves but i have been trying. Hebtold me today that i complain all the time... I hate to think i might. Life is hard at times and hes all i got since i lost all my friends. My insecurities are becoming to be too much but its not just me. Hes made because he has to tell me when hes not gonna be home i dont care where hes going i just want to be let known when hes not gonna be home so i dont worry. But i guess im asking to mich and he reminds me thats why he didnt want to be in a relationship and how hes missed out on lots of stuff the last couple months because of me he spends all his time with me... Ugh sometimes the things that come out his mouth hurt. He has girls trxting him that are totally in love with him but they are just his friends. Im not comfortable with it. It hurts. I dunno maybe im stupid for being with him. We had something good before i moved in here now maybe i do bitch about the things i have found out about him. I dunno. Ughhhhhhhh tired.

Tired of hurting love me