I was watching one of my favorite Tim Burton movies, Big Fish, and when Albert Finney said that line my mind immediately went back to the TKM auditions 2005. I was too busy listening to Mon-Mon's monologue that she was almost finished with it when Caren butt in and reminded me that the monologues were supposed to be in Tagalog and not English. Lolz!
For reminiscing's sake, I just had to go and Google the monologue:
The Italian Man who went to Malta
One a day I'm gonna to Malta to big a hotel. In a morning I got down to eat a breakfast. I tell a waitress: "I wanna two pieces of toast."
She brings me only one piece.
I tell her: "I wanna two piece."
She says: "Go to the toilet."
I say: "You don't understand? I wanna two piece in my plate."
She says: "You better no piss in a plate, you son of a bitch!"
I don't even know the lady and she call me son of a bitch.
Later.
I go to eat to a bigger restaurant. The waitress brings me the spoon, the knife but no fork. I tell her: "I wanna the fork."
She tells me: "Everybody wanna fuck."
I tell her: "You don't understand? I wanna the fork at the table."
She says: "You better not fuck at the table you son of a bitch!"
So I go back to my room in a hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. Call the manager. I tell him: "I wanna sheet."
He tell me: "Then go to the toilet."
I say: "You don't understand? I wanna sheet on a bed."
He says: "You better not shit on my bed you son of a bitch."
I go to the check out and the man at the desk said: "Peace on you!"
I said: "Piss on you too, you son of a bitch. I'm gonna back to Italia, Arrivederci."

I love you baby girl! Merry Christmas! :)