mymindisapalace

Ascent Autism

Imagine the level of whimsy I could reach if I just had $5M in my bank account rn

i’m always thinking about that news story where a three year old boy who wandered away from his house and ended up in the middle of the woods was found by this local great pyrenees farm dog who herded the kid back to his unrelated owners house. and the guy was like. whose kid is this

that dog must have been like. hmm. this isn’t a goat. some human must have left their puppy behind by accident. i have to bring this to management. surely my owner will be able to sort out whatever has occurred. that kid was like i’m all alone and scared and omg a big fluffy puppy is here to help. and that fucking farmer looking at his dog like. who’s toddler did you steal???

I think it is very important that everyone see the good boy in question. His name is Buford.

what do red pandas even do

I MEANT AS SELF DEFENSE STOP THE HATRED im sorry red pandas

does this answer your question

World Heritage Post

LOVE IS THE WHOLE POINT. OF IT ALL

OP you left out the best one

Marsha P. Johnson within the crowd at a New York Gay Pride (1982)

AND THERE SHE IS IN COLOUR BABY.

BECAUSE SHE WASN’T AS LONG AGO AS THEY LIKE TO PRETEND.

happy pride! have some lesbian phantom for the occasion

also I realised my perisan erik and black christine headcanons hadn't been given art yet so. two birds one stone

tell a trans girl you love her today. please

reblog to tell prev you love her

im always up at ass o clock doing god knows what

always ass at clock doing god im knows o up what

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

trans girls are allowed to be annoying and stereotypical and socially inept and hyperactive and hypersexual and various types of animalgirl and there's nothing you can do about it. in fact if you're mean to that skirt go spinny reddit trans girl i'm stealing your entire house

The last week has been so ridiculous even the satirists can’t take it any more

the fucking timestamp

Happy tenth birthday to this post which will apparently haunt my notifications for all eternity.

It’s about Brexit, by the way. The timestamp is a week post-referendum. Newsthump is UK-based and I myself am scottish. And yes, things have 100% got worse since then, but personally I regard the referendum as the point at which we entered the Clownshoes Timeline.

hearing genuine laughter from the people you love is the most healing sound

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

Nick Barlow, Clusterfuck/Keep It Together, 2022

Oil on mountboard, 81 X 81 cm

Babe, are you okay? You reblogged Nick Barlow’s Clusterfuck/Keep It Together again

Pick a bottle any bottle lol

I recently read an article about a therapy group for depressed people who had all attempted suicide at some point. The breakthrough question for them was, “If your goal was to be just as miserable as possible, what would you do?” Most of them listed things like not getting enough sleep, or isolating themselves from everyone… the list goes on, but the point is, they listed things they already do. But now they saw those “coping mechanisms” for what they really were: things that were actively making their condition worse.

I read that article at 2:00 AM, asked myself, am I TRYING to be miserable tomorrow? And it was easier than usual to put my phone down and fall asleep. Even my intrusive “lying down” thoughts about meaninglessness and existential dread were easier to suppress when I framed them as things I’d think about to purposefully make myself feel as awful as possible.

Fuck that is helpful