boiling an egg is so scary you don't know what's happening in there. it could be hard boiled it could be soft boiled it could be not ready yet but unless you time it perfectly you won't know until you commit to cracking it open. and then you can't go back. you've committed. and buddy i've committed to some eggs i did not want to eat.

i love when kids are obsessed with a thing that isnt really designed for children but not in the like. edgy adult inappropriate way. im talking like my childhood obsession with antiques roadshow. or my cousin who's favorite toy was a photographers tripod. like not the camera JUST the tripod. kids are so silly and delightful sometimes.

A strange thing happened in much of the United States where once upon a time food trucks were cheap food that you could get on your lunch break but then in our car centric society they slowly died out because people would just drive somewhere cheap to eat.

Then people started realizing that a food truck was basically a more affordable way to start up an experimental restaurant and the food truck was reincarnated as a device made to sell you a coffee for ten whole dollars.

these thangs are carnivorous and they glow

https://people.com/photographer-captures-first-ever-photo-glow-in-the-dark-marsupial-animal-11774372

little guy would be so popular at a rave

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

this animal

I started thinking about "what fantasy race would have the lowest poison tolerance?" because every one of them has some reason how and why they could shrug off poison. Elves and fae are fancy and magical. Orcs and dwarves are just hardy as hell. Goblins, halflings and humans are opportunistic omnivores. Then it occurred to me:

They all have poison resistance, just to different substances. They are all notorious for being able to casually chow down stuff that by all reasons should be lethal, and then suddenly die of a completely normal food ingredient. The amount of overlap between all seven varies, but they are all known among the others to just casually eat things that should be lethally poisonous.

Also goblin bites aren't naturally venomous. Their natural diet just includes a lot of stuff that's highly poisonous to the other races, and the bite of a goblin that lives off of dwarven food isn't any more lethal than a human bite. Both will give you a nasty infection due to mouth bacteria, though.

God forbid you ask a pharmacy to fill a prescription

ublock origin is not enough i need advertisers to feel physical pain

TICK PSA

Alright you guys, ‘tis the season again and I’ve already seen bullshit float about so here we go: what to do and what not to do when you happen to have a tick attached to yours truly.

WHAT NOT TO DO:

DON’T cover the tick in anything. Vaseline, nailpolish, whatever. Doesn’t matter. It’ll all suffocate the tick, making it panic vomit germs into your blood stream. That’s the opposite of what you want.

DON’T burn the tick. Same problem, plus the additional option of giving yourself a burn wound in the process. 

DON’T squeeze the body of the tick when you try to remove it. Again this empties the tick’s digestive system into your body. Bad. 

DON’T wait for the tick to detach itself. The longer it stays on you, the higher the chances it’ll transmit anything to you. Plus when ti detaches it may again vomit germs into you. 

WHAT TO ACTUALLY DO

STAY CALM. A tick hanging on you is not a reason to panick. You’re not going to keel over just like that, and if you’re unsure what to do, there are many resources on the internet on how to safely remove a tick, like this one from the CDC (aka the professionals)

USE APPROPRIATE TOOLS. These can be suitable tweezers (the pointy kind, not blunt tipped ones), tick removers (there are cheap ones out there, those you can buy at the vets are totally fine for use on humans, too!). Ideally you can remove the entire tick in one go, however if that doesn’t work and the mouth part breaks off in your skin, that’s not a terribly big deal and you can totally remove it separately after you got the body remove. Again, don’t panic.

KILL THE REMOVED TICK. But not by squeezing it. Flush it down the toilet, submerse it in alcohol in a container etc. Ideally if the tick has bitten you and not your dog, keep the tick around in a sealed container in case you start having symptoms and someone needs to identify the tick species. Also IF you start getting symptoms like the tell tale Lyme disease rash, HIT A DOCTOR RIGHT AWAY AND TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR TICK BITE. Do not wait this out, ticks can transmit a whole host of diseases beside Lyme, so be mindful of that, too! 

Some of those diseases you can actually get vaccinated again, such as tick born encephalitis. Check with the local authorities if you live in a risk area, and if so, get the shots to protect yourself. 

Excellent post! I would like to add that ticks hide in tall grass and bushes mostly. They do not drop down from trees or jump to other people’s heads etc. Ticks aren’t designed to jump, they latch on somewhere on your leg and then crawl upwards in most cases. 

So be careful with bare legs and tall grass!

tbh if you wanna know how much you’ve learned/acquired of a particular language, saying that you’ve been learning for X number of months or years just doesn’t really tell you anything.

A person who studies for 10 minutes a day for 10 years has like 600 hours put into the language whereas a person who listens to/reads/studies the language for 2 hours a day for one year has 730 hours put into the language.

How does a person who has been learning for one year know more than you when you’ve been learning the language for ten years? Because they’ve been putting a lot of time into acquiring a language and you’ve been maintaining a Duolingo streak.

i'm reading the genius of birds by jennifer ackerman (amazing book) and today i learned that the first ever documented case of a bird making a tool to use as a weapon against another bird was a steller's jay breaking off and sharpening a stick to wield like a lance at a crow that was taking too long at a feeding station the jay also wanted to eat at. the jay tried to stab at the crow but narrowly missed, the crow lunged back, the jay dropped the stick, and the crow picked it up with the sharp end pointing towards the jay and pursued it into the trees

imagine the guy in front of you at mcdonald's is taking too long to order and so you fashion a blade on the spot and hold him at knifepoint. and then he steals your knife and points it back at you while chasing you out of the restaurant. and also the guy is twice your size

'the moon is lonely because no one is awake when she is' the moon has hundredsofmillions of people with sleep disorders, partygoers, people with weird work schedules, people with new babies, people who have planned hangouts with friends in another timezone, people who just got into a new thing, etc etc etc etc to hang with every night ..

while you were busy jacking off & cumming hard. it rained outside beautifully

what do you think i was jacking off to...?

I really think we need to drill it into people that if you're not ready to have a disabled kid, then you shouldn't have kids

you know who’s gay? paul the real estate novelist who never had time for a wife and davey who’s still in the navy and probably will be for life

New headcannon: everyone in that song is gay except the Piano Man who has no idea he’s playing at a gay bar and the staff and regulars have a betting pool on how long he’ll take to finally figure it out. So far John is ahead.

“The manager gives me a smile ‘cause he knows that it’s me they’ve been coming to see” also implies that the Piano Man is possibly an incredibly attractive but oblivious himbo, and if you listen to the rest of it imagining that, this all fits a little too well.

this makes too much sense. Also, the full quote is “Now John at the bar is a friend of mine. He gets me my drinks for free. And he’s quick with a joke or to light up your smoke. But there’s someplace that he’d rather be” Yes, your bed, he wants to be on your bed honey, that’s not a joke, he is flirting with you.

Lighting another man’s cigarette is some old-school gay cruising.

Billy Joel actually addressed this interpretation!

You know, good on him for just rolling with it.