More Hardcore Than...

While both animals are bottom-feeders, and both have a tendancy to want to gnaw on a bone long after it had ceased to provide any sustinance... my cat wins because at least he has standards when I water down his dinner too much.
He gets chrystals in his urine, so I've been told by the vet to add about half a cup of water to his dinner, and he isn't allowed to eat bikkies anymore. Yesterday I overpoured on the water and filled it almost to the brim. (I'd only just been woken up, and was making the cat go quiet so I could go back to sleep). He wouldn't eat it.
Thus he is more hardcore than the Channel 9 News Team who are STILL digesting the watered down mining disaster story that got really old THREE WEEKS AGO!!!!!!

So I have been absent awhile and am now currently catching up on things that need doing. As part of that miss oskie made me a new icon I adore...

I now pronounce my new icon is more hardcore then the Doom movie.

If you haven't seen the movie, don't. I watched it with someone who likes comp game films, and they fell asleep they were so bored! It sucks and has very very very little zombie action. Dear god I watched it for the rock and zombies and came out ashamed the rock was in it and pining for zombies. Plot was not only holey but totally amiss. Bah to it bah indeed

So anyway, my icon is from images done by Jamie Farr as part of his xombies online cartoons. You must look, they are very cool. www.xombified.com It's an animation that even my son could get away with watching, and yet it's zombie action is still more hardcore then the m15 rated supposed zombie horror flick.

This Community is More Hardcore Than...It Was Yesterday.

Greetings Hardcore peeps! It's been a long time since anyone has posted, so I thought it was about time I gave things a bit of a shake-up. Four things:

1. A big welcome to our new(ish) members!

2. I have taken the liberty of giving the layout a complete overhaul- check it out.

3. Info page has been updated to account for my having (finally) solved my image hosting issues- the formula works again!

4a. I have made us an icon- is it not shiny?
4b. As a "free user" we are allowed 2 more icons, so...

I hereby lay down the Icon-Making-Challenge-Of-Doom! Build us your best More Hardcore icons. Post them in the comments section of this post. Make sure they conform to LJ standards. We shall all vote on the best 3, And the winners will be famous and dance around like silly buggers!

Get doing, people!

Oh yeah, and post more. God knows I have no life, and the only way I feel validated as a human being is by constantly refreshing my flist! Entertain me!

Our Toilet Spiders are more hardcore than the US government.

We have 2 daddy longlegs that live in our toilet. One is usually up in the back corner, the other is one side of the door about a metre off the ground. Today I noticed that the daddy longlegs in front of me was a mummy longlegs. She has two little pidas in her web with her. I then gave a really good look at the web up the back corner, and it seems that the little bits of dust in his web are little pidas too!

Mummy longlegs global domination plan stage 1: COMPLETE.
The positive side of them breeding their own personal army is that there aren't as many flying insects in that end of the house.

But, unlike the US Government, at least they aren't trying to keep an eye on what I'm looking at over the internet. (tho I'm sure they found the magazine I was reading last week verra interesting)

Well nobody has posted in awhile, and the community has received 2 new members since then. So I thought I would post away and try and start people being sarcastic poobutts again :) Afterall, sarcasm makes complaining not whingey like ;) Anyway, on with the show!

My fish's horniness is more hardcore than Hilary Swank's acting career!

Now I'm not saying she can't act. But I will point out that much of the discussion on why she and her husband broke up had to do with the success of her acting career. Well her acting career broke up an 8 or so year marriage, but it hasn't killed anybody (that we know of)!

Now to my fish. I got my son 3 fish for his birthday last year. They were all of the same type, 2 little and one bigger one. Now they are an agressive breed but are meant to sort of nip at each other rather than actually hurt each other. But little by little the big one has stressed the two smaller ones to the point of death. First morning after the second little fish died he was making bubble nests all over the tank (which means he is horny and wants to breed baby). So now we know why he was a bit more aggressive than most... and now we know why he kills other fish.

My Skills of Negotiation Are More Hardcore Than Alexander's Downer's Brown-Nose-of-Ineptitude^TM

Jen: 2, Real Estate: 0

The story so far: our real estate is particularly shithouse, and our property manager is a power-tripping bitch of epic proportions. After refusing to let us sign our new lease on a different date out of pure spite, she then tried to hike our rent in the sneakiest manner possible. See, I had a feeling she might try something like that, so I asked her directly whether it would be going up. She swore to me that it wouldn't, and sent me a letter stating as much. When it came to signing the lease, however, the price mysteriously went up by $30 a month. Suffice to say that I did not sign it.

Today was the first day in 3 weeks of this ongoing saga that I could go in there, and go in I did. The poor secretary didn't know what hit her! After much ranting and a crazy 3 way phone coversation (Diane has Saturdays off apparently- lucky her) my seething rage prevailed. Oh, she tried to squirm her way out of it. "What letter?", she said. "I sent you a rent increase notification 2 months ago", she said. "We don't have a receipt of any $100 pet bond.", she said. Blah, blah, blah. But she was proved wrong on all counts, and by the end the secretary was totally on my side. I will be getting new leases to sign, and best of all, with Diane out of the building they updated the system so they have a correct record of what has been agreed upon. Yay me! So, to recap:

Me		Alexander Downer
Change Lease Date?	Yes	Free Aussie Prisoners in Bali?	No
Revoke Rent Hike?	Yes	Rescue Aussie's Trapped in New Orleans?	No
Find Previously Forgotten Bond of $100?	Yes	Find His Own Arse With A Map?	No

You too can hone hardcore skills:
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Anyone else wanna negotiate?

that's right people. House hold injury number one for me today was not sleepily walking into a door or wall as per usual, but discovering the joys of the little metal serrated strip on the glad wrap box.

While wrapping up the lunches I had made today I was cutting the glad wrap on said strip and despite the fact it was having trouble cutting the strip it easily cut into the knuckle I only very lightly grazed against it.

I have come to a conclusion - either my skin is super soft so easier to cut than glad wrap (for for the idea of having such soft skin!) OR glad wrap has either inserted the stirp with a chip or created it to be sentient so it knows when a non-plastic and carbon based life form comes into contact with it's bare blade and so on it will then and only then use its full cutting power... hmmmm

Before I go any further let me state for the record that in my opinion the only good Batman ever produced was the original 60s TV series (although I do have a soft spot for the animated series). I do not like the comic books. I do not like the movies. I do not like green eggs and ham.

I especially don't like the looks of the new movie, Batman Begins. Or as I'm betting we'll think of it in years to come, Batman Begins to Look More and More Like a George Lucas-Style Cash Cow. I was under the impression that it was supposed to be a prequel. In my mind this implies a level of simplicity, even if it isn't to the campy extremes of Adam West's spandex-fest-of-joy. But today I got a look at the new Batmobile and it has confirmed my worst fears. This is not a vehicle, people:

Compare said shit heap of scrap metal with the glorious beast that was the original:

Note (with glee, as I did) that the original Batmobile is "Five inches of danger". How can the new one ever hope to compete? This is why I say:

Adam West may be an old Bat, but his car is still more hardcore than any American Psycho.

OK we all know about soapie relationships, full of sleeping around, divorces, betrayals the works. I don't think I really need to say much on that point. What I will explain is Brum, at first with some background.

Brum is an English tv show for young children. A show my son is addicted to. Brum is a little sentient car (about 2 foot long and 1 foot high) who is like a mini superhero. He catches crooks and does things like save lost puppies form getitng into trouble. All healthy good morals. The opening sequence is always the same, with Brum waking up when his owner opens the garage door and sneaking off to go to 'Big Town'. Then they have the episode and then the closing sequence (which is also always the same) with a bunch of people doing a song and dance number celebrating and giving praise to Brum for his good deeds.

Now I have noticed a lot of kids movies and shows often have little comments and innuendos in there that children wouldn't understand but seem to be put in for the entertainment of the adults watching the show too. Now the closing sequence has something dodge in it but I'm not sure if it's on purpose or accidental. One of the characters in the closing sequence is a business man who appears to be in about his 50's. Now in a section of close up on his dancing he is standing there, hands on hips and jiggling one side of his hip up and down. It's hard to describe but in many respects reminds me of something a prostitute as portrayed in like 1970's movies would do... in fact the likeness is so similar when I first saw it I could imagine him with long red nails the colour of Kalenture's workdesk and saying 'come here honey'. There are two things that make it worse. Firstly is that while doing this he runs his tongue across his top lip! Yes we have all seen this done in various forms of media as a seduction technique (although he didnt manage to be seductive, thugh it could be because of his looks). Secondly he is standing next to a policeman who is noted in one of the fact files as one of his loves being 'feeding apples to his loyal horse arrow'.

For some reason the whole thing gave me the impression of a business guy who was wearing women's underwear underneath his suit trying to be seductive while standing next to his friend who is a horse loving policeman.

Aren't I lucky Alex doesn't understand :)

In yet another stupid commercial analysis I have decided that the makers of Crunchy Nut cereal have something to answer to. Now those that have seen the commercials would have observed the following behaviours of those who are considered 'dedicated' to the cereal:

* addiction tendencies
* psychotic or other mental imbalances
* putting themselves in dangerous situations in order to get their next 'fix'

These are only some of the behaviours shown. Yet the ads encourage more people to take it and show no effort to try and remove these harmful consequences of consumption, which not only effect those eating the cereal but also the community in the long term.

So I propose this cereal is more hardcore than crack because at least crack has legal and social interventions in place to try and reduce the effect of the drug and what it causes in those addicted to it as well as trying to reduce the number of consumers.

Yes I am insane, stupid lack of sleep.